Cousin taking advantage of Nmom

[Overcomer]

Hello all!  Long lost Kelly here.

My Nmom is wealthy.  She has always been there to help my bro and I out in a financial pinch.  No one else goes to my mom but her spoiled baby (64) sister and her family.    Just found out my 36 year old cousin got a $30,000 down payment for a brand new house and now my mom pays their monthly bills.   Originally he was in the ministry so all the funds were funneled through the ministry to hive tax benefits to my mom. 

He was let go from the ministry (due to a 50% attendance rate) but my mom still pays all his bills. 

My brother and I are livid.   I have asked to talk to my cousin and he declined (through my enabler aunt ). He won't answer phone or text. 

What can I do ?  He is dupping Nmom and she is too proud to admit it.

Meanwhile other family members are struggling but havent asked for help so she doesn't give it.   She says it is none if our business.

What to do ?  Go to court ??  Intervention?

[BonesMS]

I might be the only one thinking this way but I'm seeing more than one facet of what's happening with NWomb-Donor.  On the one hand, with someone taking advantage of her, she may be experiencing the old saying of:  "Paybacks are HELL!"  On the other hand, this could be considered a form of elder abuse and I would contact the social services agency that deals with the aged and find out what you can legally do to protect her financially.  I don't know what resources are available in your state.  You might be able to dial 211 and ask.  Couldn't hurt to explore what might be do-able.

Bones

[Nonameanymore]

Hi Kelly,

It must be a thing with NMs being wealthy... 
Is she senile? Is your cousin so manipulative as to extract 30.000 from her?
Do you really think she is being duped? Have you thought that her giving the money is a preference game or something like this?
These were the questions I would ask thinking of my own NM... (one could only extract as much as 1 euro from her only if she would go completely senile - she promises, then the offer is off the table in less than a minute).

If there are judgement issues due to old age, maybe you should get a court order to handle her money...

[Overcomer]

She cannot say no.  He plays the super Christian card.  He was in the ministry and she supported him then. He got let go and cuz basically said they were going through a rough time in their marriage.  A couple years later and she's still paying.  Sent him to cna school.  Nothing.  She also pays fir private school.   It is maddening !!!

[Nonameanymore]

Only thing I can think of is that he is her 'golden child' 
My NM had her baby brother as the example I never lived up to... maddening to, she couldn't say no to him.
It's sick but at times I thought she was in love with him...pretty crazy stuff...

[Overcomer]

Big blow up!  I got chewed out for butting into their business.  I had to laugh the more they yelled and hollered the more I kept my cool and put it back on them.  I'm sure my Nmom will label me the problem but I'm not, I know it do there. 

[Hopalong]

How are you doing health-wise, Kel?

love,
Hops

[Overcomer]

Just had surgery on July 18. They removed a walnut sized tumor from my lung.  This after having MAJOR surgery in January.  I get a CT scan the end of Aug.  They keep a close eye on me cuz this cancer does not want to go away.  The treatment of choice is surgery.  I have had two rounds of chemo, been bald twice !  My hair is growing back as curly as an Afro-American.

I am tired a lot.  Naps.  Rest.   I went to the Iowa state fair the other day and had to sit a lot.  I guess that's what happens.  You just get worn down from the treatment. 

[Hopalong]

Oh, (((((((((Kelly)))))))))) --

Much white light to you.

I hope you connect and re-connect to every joy in every present moment possible.

I am sorry you are going through this ordeal, brave woman.

love,

Hops

[Nonameanymore]

Hope you'll feel better soon Kelly, wishing you a speedy recovery

[Ami]

Hi Kelly
Wanted to say Hi  <3