Some here may relate

[Hopalong]

....about the self-loathing of children whose mothers were abusive


http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2011/09/dear_prudence_my_abusive_mother_haunts_my_dreams_.html

I usually find Prudie smug (though she condenses thoughts well), but she nailed this one. (Except for the upper-middle-class remedies, all but one of which involve spending money, or being insured...still, before those "action steps"--iow, shopping tips--it's a nice description.)

Hops

[Ales2]

oh yeah i can relate to that for sure! i still have dreams and nightmares - and know that my failures in life all come from childhood problems that were unresolved. I have some trouble trusting that things will be different, I still feel doomed to repeating the same mistakes over and over and attracting the same awful people into my life. I also really related to the part about having certain features that resemble my Mother. I'm 43 now, and I was 12 when my Mom was 43, so I remember what she looked like. We have the same hair, smile and facial features, but I do look younger than she did at this age (HA!) ....

prudie is right though about giving herself some credit and being nicer to herself.