Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mothering Again, con't.
sKePTiKal:
I wondered how you were doing Hops. I've been kinda MIA too. The heat has been just brutal, but we finally got a little rain (all the churches here were asking people to pray for it; drought again), B's gone again... and Hol is in transition. I understand the feeling about coming untethered, just kinda flattened/deflated.
Hol got me wrangled into helping her, support Amy's boys in their search for independence & distance from their mom. There's a weekend camping trip planned with her friend & her boys (that have met the other two years ago) in a few weeks. Hol bought them an older pickup with bed cap & I'm covering tags & insurance for a year. We're gonna sort/collect a lot of our camping equipment for extra stuff (I still have lots) and donate that to get them set up to travel away from "home". Hol is driving them/teaching them what she knows about driving and cars back home then flying back - maybe; maybe renting a car. There is going to be discussion of programs like Outward Bound and Americorps, especially for the older boy (now 23) and Hol's friend works sometimes as a teacher's aide for kids on the spectrum.
We still don't really believe he's autistic or aspergers (more likely) - but the presentation is the same, with severe emotional trauma/neglect in early childhood. In his case, at any rate. Because he DOES learn, and now that he's older, he's expressing himself just about like any other young man his age. Even said he wants to do some therapy.
So, my part in this isn't that big - just backing up Hol and dogsitting. I didn't think she still had her cape... but, I guess she does. Amy isn't making many changes in her life or growing much. And we don't want to see her lifestyle drag the boys down before they even get a chance to spread their wings a bit.
It just feels like we're pissin' in the wind, to me. Maybe just knowing there ARE people who care & support them, matters more than the transportation in this case. They have been TRYING to work, but transportation is essential in their rural location.
And I loathe the total feeling of "ick" I get whenever that topic of her sister comes up. Just brings up all kinds of half-forgotten FOO stuff for me. The nightmares. But, I did crawl out from under and escaped. So I'm hoping the boys are able to turn this "help" into a way out, too.
So, I get it Hops. We both know, this too shall pass. And the universe has a way of protecting it's own. I'm glad the Sikh is helpful.
Hopalong:
WOW.
Bless you both for helping those boys escape Toxic Mom.
I'm so sorry. But so impressed. You bet, you and Hol both deserve those capes.
I felt something related when my D's half-brother (from Beijing, even!) expressed what sounded like a commitment to work with the other brother (in DC area) to tackle the question of what safe housing might be findable for her. I am SO relieved that the next generation feels some obligation to care for a drowning sibling.
No idea whether it'll all work out, but gratitude for these young men (pushing 40) is welling up.
I hope it works out for you and yourn.
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
You too Hops. We never stop worrying about the bairns, do we?
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