Author Topic: Lupita, how are you?  (Read 3506 times)

lighter

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Lupita, how are you?
« on: November 08, 2011, 03:27:16 PM »
I'm wondering how you, and Tayana, are lately.

Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2011, 08:07:42 PM »
thank you so much for asking. I have a new job. I have a new apartment, had to move. There is a new man interested in me, I donot know what to think because he is too nice and I am not used to nice people. My job is very difficult but I am paid and make a living. So, can't complain.
Thank you for asking.
Sometimes I think that nobody cares.

Hopalong

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2011, 09:16:57 PM »
HI sweet Lup!

I care! I'm sorry the job is hard. That's so draining.

(And thank you, Lighter...for reaching out to Lup....)

xo
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

finding peace

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2011, 02:13:53 AM »
(((((Hi Lupita)))))

I care! 

I think about you often.  How is your son?

Would love to hear more.

Love you,
Peace

- Life is a journey not a destination

debkor

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2011, 09:20:50 AM »
Hi Lup,

You know whats the greatest thing about being friends?  You may not speak all the time, for a long time but when you do ...You pick up like it was yesterday!!

I care and think about you and all often.

Deb

lighter

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2011, 01:09:59 PM »
Hey Lup:

Tell us about the new man.

What are the nice behaviors and things he does that stand out?

How does it make you feel?

I suppose it's not much in your comfort zone to have someone be kind, but you just might have to get over that: )

Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2011, 03:44:26 AM »
He took me to a chines restaurant, he paid, the fortune cookie said: "unexpected relationship will become permanent". He said then, keep this paper. Save it. He has not said anything ugly or done anything to make me feel bad. He is very considerate. He does not want to tango. Nice opportunity to get out of tango and have good company. I feel very relaxed with him. He says he has a masters degree in education and he behaves very respectful. I have not been in his house yet. I will know more about him when I am at his house.

lighter

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2011, 06:58:14 AM »
Lupita:

It sounds like he's a gentleman, and you enjoy being treated well.

Just try to stay relaxed, know you're moving slowly, don't dismiss the red flags, and don't blow the little quirks out of proportion.

Maybe it would be a good idea to journal, so you can re visit your thoughts about him later on.

Boundaries up!  Fun-field down: )

Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2011, 12:22:40 PM »
Well, I went to his house and found out he is married. But, he is a very nice person. He just never said he was married after 11 days of friendship. Now, I do not want anything to do with him, but strict friendship, and distant friendship. He is still a very nice person and I do not blame him for wanting to have something to do with me, even though he had to lie about it. That means I am growing up and I do not feel like a victim. Yipy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a lot of fun with this man who plays acordion and we played tangos together, piano and accordion, and he dances too and he speaks several languages like I do. I am sorry he is married but I trust in the Lord that somebody will appear for me some day.

Do the best you can with what you have from where you are and your ship will find you.

The universe is powerful; and I feel very content.

lighter

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2011, 06:59:23 AM »
I'm sorry he can't be a comfortable friend, Lupe, but it does sound like you're experiencing growth.

My favorite prayer is to ask the Lord to help me help myself, and to help me see the truth more clearly.  What do you pray for? 

If you remember to find pleasure in your daily abolutions...... creating sacred space in your home............ caring for yourself....... continuing to do things that bring you pleasure......

you will meet new people, and be in a good place to make decisions about them.

Coming from a position of want, not need.

Understanding what a boundary is, having them in place, and defending them appropriately.....
consitently, means you'll continue growing.

It means you'll be able to stop learning the same lessons over and over, and move on to new ones.

Life is a learning jouney.  We never stop growing (((Lupita.)))

Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2011, 04:42:16 PM »
If you remember to find pleasure in your daily abolutions...... creating sacred space in your home............ caring for yourself....... continuing to do things that bring you pleasure......

I feel pleasure in piano, dancing, and resting peacefully at home. But the most pleasure I have is being with a man, either sitting at a beach observing the sunset, or walking, or talking, just the company of men makes me feel complete. God made me that way. I am trying to feel different but it is hard.


you will meet new people, and be in a good place to make decisions about them.

To decide not to fall in love? is that a decision or comes from your needs? or from your what? if you are full you do not feel like eating, but I am so hungry of love!!!!!

Coming from a position of want, not need.

Understanding what a boundary is, having them in place, and defending them appropriately.....
consitently, means you'll continue growing.

Boundary? if you are wishing the human contact, how do you put a boundary in place? Hope I become an iceberg and do not feel any need.

It means you'll be able to stop learning the same lessons over and over, and move on to new ones.

I disagree in this because I am in better posiition, do not feel devastated, I understand what happens and do not get depressed. So, the lesson is learned, but I donot give up, I keep trying and hope that the Lord will provide a good man for my dreams.


A man wanted to come and practice with me ay my home and I said, there is no place in my house we have to plractice ina  studio. Even though I am desiring the opposite. Is that learning?

lighter

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2011, 05:09:47 PM »
Lupe:

You do sound like you're in a better space, and if you can turn your attention to enjoying what you DO have, you'll find company when you least expect it.

Happiness is a magnet.

As for not letting the guy come to your home, I guess you want to make sure he's a good guy, get to know him better, and make good decisions based on facts, not your need to be with someone.  This is a good thing, right?
lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2011, 04:23:12 PM »
How do you suppress the need and magnify the want?
I have many wants but have more needs that wants, I know that. But it does not go away by it self. Even though I do affirmations, mirror work, posters, etc. Practice meditation, think about detachment, etc.
Still, the needs are there.
 I think it is like diabetes, a disease that will be controlled but never cured. I will always have the need of a man or a love even if it is a woman mothering me. With just that I think I might be fixed. But I am not wrong, and there is nothng wrong with me. I am OK as I am and will be OK anyway. So, I dont make any sense.

lighter

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2011, 07:41:03 PM »
Lupe:

It's human to have needs, wants and desires.

We all do, but we must keep in mind boundaries, and skills (such as the ability to put off gratification) so we can make better choices.

Learning is a lifelong journey.  We never stop.  Growth goes on, and unfortunately, discomfort and pain is usually the catalyst. 

As they say in AA, replace replace replace old habits with new habits...... they get less alien, and eventually become pleasures if we stick with them.

We can accept and love ourselves as human beings, while mindfully changing habits, or behaviors that don't serve us well.

I think I've you've grown a lot through the years, Lupita. 
 
Don't you?
Lighter

Lupita

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Re: Lupita, how are you?
« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2011, 03:16:20 PM »
He called me and wrote me today. He says he is coming back and he wants to pursuit a relationship with me. He says that he does not want to be married to his wife anymore. Of course, I dream of a man by my side and somebody to love to. But I do not want to be hurt again. He is handsome like very handsome. plays the accordion, loves to hear me play the piano, likes to dance, he has all attributes that I like. I do not want to suffer. I do not want to lose the few acquaintances that I have now like I did with M. I want to give him a chance, but I am afraid that God will punish me ofr that. He has been separated from his wife for eleven years, he said, they have been married many years but the last eleven they have not been living together and he was having a single life but now she wants him back and that triggered that he wants the divorce. So, it is not my fault that they might divorce, God knows that.
Anyway, I have a prospective dance partenr that is potentially very good and dont want to lose him becuase of G. His nams is G. Need to work on detachment.