All those conversations in my head

[BonesMS]

Bones, hon... if it triggers you and you don't like being triggered... tune it out, don't pay attention to it, make a boundary. It's not 100% foolproof, but it really, really helps.

Easier said than done......

[BonesMS]

I have heard that many, many childhood sexual abuse victims have been severely triggered and upset by what happened in State College...you're not alone, Bones.

This might be a good time to step up some visits to a survivors' support group.
You deserve to not have to process those feelings alone.

(What your mother did is unspeakable.)

love to you,
Hops

Thanks, Hops.

There used to be a survivors' support group in my area.  Unfortunately, it fell apart when a predator was able to infiltrate the group and started up his crap.  I haven't been able to locate another group in my area since.

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

Yeah Bones, I know it can be hard to tune it out. Last night, I heard more than I wanted to know, too.

With a boundary, though... I can at least say to myself: what is being talked about is AWFUL, and I feel so sorry for the ones who were hurt by this, I sure know some of what they're going/have gone through. But it's not happening to me... I'm not part of this particular story. And that helps me from going down the road of reliving/refeeling my own story from so long ago. So, at least I can protect myself from my own past demons... they seem to come alive when I turn my attention to them; so I try not to... and they recede into the fog of the past a little more.

[BonesMS]

I will state, UNEQUIVOCALLY, that ALL NMONSTERS !@#$ who RAPE THEIR OWN CHILDREN DESERVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL!!!!!!   

I cannot, with a clear conscience, take the attitude of "Not my problem, their problem" when INNOCENT children are STILL being victimized by those who SHOULD BE PROTECTING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!   

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

I agree with you, Bones. I wasn't saying "c'est la vie"... it's their problem, I don't care.

I was only saying, that it doesn't do me (nor my blood pressure) any good, to allow it to affect me as if it were actually happening to me. I still care - as passionately as you do - about these wrongs done to children. And for myself, to focus on this... absolutely harms me... it effectively continues the abuse that I experienced.

After all, I am one those of kids too.

[BonesMS]

I agree with you, Bones. I wasn't saying "c'est la vie"... it's their problem, I don't care.

I was only saying, that it doesn't do me (nor my blood pressure) any good, to allow it to affect me as if it were actually happening to me. I still care - as passionately as you do - about these wrongs done to children. And for myself, to focus on this... absolutely harms me... it effectively continues the abuse that I experienced.

After all, I am one those of kids too.

I guess I'm not where you are yet.  The wound is still raw.

Bones

[sKePTiKal]

It's OK (((((Bones))))).

[BonesMS]

It's OK (((((Bones))))).

Thanks, P.R.

On top of this, I'm watching one of my favorite shows, "House", last night and the plot twist was another kick in the gut that I did NOT see coming!