Reading this thread has brought up memories for me too regarding the dentist. I still have problems with trauma in the dentist office because the NQueen !@#$ INSISTED on taking both the NGCB and me to a CHEAP quack so SHE wouldn't have to spend any more money than SHE wanted to. She never went to the dentist herself because she had a full set of dentures. One nightmare experience was when the NGCB had one of his PERMANENT teeth yanked out WITHOUT aesnethesia and hearing him being told to stop being a crybaby! He was screaming in agony!
When my permanent teeth started coming in all kinds of crooked due to my birth defect, she would often fly into an NRage because I couldn't talk right and I DARED mention that I might need orthodontic treatment. I lost count of how many times she would beat on me for that. At one point, she told the quack to pull out ALL of my teeth IF they were coming in crooked!!
Now how F-ed up is THAT?!?!? Thank God I was able to fight that off in spite of her attempts to beat me into submission.
Fast forward, to age 17, when I found a new dentist close to work when I found a cavity in my front tooth. I shared with him about my prior experiences and the resulting terror I struggle with. He told me that I should have gotten orthodontic treatment when my permanent teeth started to come in. I told him he was preaching to the choir and explained what the N!@#$ did every time I attempted to have a discussion about it. He happened to know an orthodontist right across the street and sent me over there. (Apparently, the orthodontist was called before I got there because he was expecting me when I walked into his office.) Between this dentist and orthodontist, they were able to document everything that needed treatment. The orthodontist did a plaster casting of my upper and lower jaw even though there was no guarantee he would be permitted to treat me. When they mentioned that I needed to get parental permission, due to being a legal minor, I was terrified of getting another beating. I asked could I wait until I was 21 and they said if I attempted that, I wouldn't have anything left. They both assured me that they had a plan and to please stop worrying. They explained that once they had everything set up, they would ask me to tell the N!@#$ to schedule an appointment. I asked what could I do if she refused. Again, they stated they had a plan but would not elaborate further.
When they gave me the green light, with instructions that the dentist would call by a certain time if she had not called him yet, I gave the N!@#$ the dentist's business card and told her that he wanted to have an appointment with her. Just as I expected, she flew into another one of her rages. I don't know how but I managed to stay calm in spite of her violent behavior, but GOD did it hurt! When she wore herself out, I stated that if she didn't call him, HE WAS GOING TO CALL HER by a specific time. She refused to believe me until the phone rang! When she spoke to the dentist, she tried to insist that I was "too mentally ill to know what I was talking about" and I got the sense that the dentist wasn't buying it.
I learned later that when she went in to meet with the dentist, she started up her tirade of how I was "mentally ill", a "liar", and I was always trying to "steal from her". The dentist showed her the physical evidence that he had to prove that this was NOT a delusion on my part and that I REALLY needed treatment. She attempted to counter with: "She doesn't clean her teeth right!" The dentist pointed out that HE COULDN'T CLEAN MY TEETH PROPERLY BECAUSE OF THE UNTREATED BIRTH DEFECT! If HE can't get dental floss in between my teeth, what makes her think that I could do a better job than the dentist!?! Then he shipped her across the street to the orthodontist, who was ready and waiting for her.
The orthodontist told her to wait inside his office while he was finishing up with a patient. When she went in, she saw several plaster castings of different people's teeth on the desk and she spotted one that was badly deformed. She picked it up and flipped it over and discovered my name on it!
That's when the orthodontist walked in and found her with my plaster casting in her hands. Between the dentist and the orthodontist, she was given no choice but to give her consent. Years later, it dawned on me how and why they were able to succeed....she was given a choice of either sign on the dotted line, giving consent, or talk to Child Protective Services. (She was always whining about "What would the neighbors think?")
It still boggles the mind that she had ABSOLUTELY NO maternal instincts and had to be FORCED to do what other responsible parents would do!
Bones
