I have a toddler, not teenagers.... I'm hoping this is practice for it;).
I've heard of the similarities between toddlers and teenagers, asserting and finding the balance between independance and needing your parents. I can't give any advice really as a new parent.... But I know for my toddler daughter, the more choices she gets to make the better day we have together. Low blood sugar, lack of sleep, and teething don't help. I pick my battles and sacrifice consistancy at times to build Her confidence. I think teenagers try on different things to figure out who they are.... and also throw some hormones in there! Teenagers diet doesn't help this either!! Just take care of yourself and you will be an example, no matter what they say or do, they are watching and listening with hidden admiration they'll never admit. If we can long for a toxic parent, just think what there is room for.
I guess as opposed to toddlerhood, teenagers are testing the boundaries of life.... toddlers are testing the boundaries of thepeople around them. I might be wayyy off, but my experience working with children and new parenthood came up with this.
Be nice to yourself:)). You deserve it Mommy.