This and That

[sKePTiKal]

After Halloween comes "dream time" Lighter. Until the first snow crocus come up. That's when a person can put all those creative juices to work... shuffle everything that's been on the "list" into something more sensible... and even change directions. Rip Van Winkle time too... fuzzy slippers, hot cocoa and a fire in the stove...

[Hopalong]

Moss sounds like a magical obsession, Lighter.
Wish we could see pix!

Did you start it because of a shady yard?

It sounds amazing for the yard and equally good for you.

Enjoy!
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I'm only just catching up with your thread, Lighter.  I can see you like a fairy weaving a magical garden   I was convinced that little people lived among us when I was a child; I was always so certain that tiny little figures were living beneath toadstools and in little houses made out of fallen leaves.  Your descriptions of your garden sound like a grown up version of that, something magical and enticing to mythical folk   It sounds so lovely.

I'm sorry to read of that horrible dream.  I think, as you say, your subconscious is dragging things up.  Personally, I've found that generally means I've got to a point where I can 'handle' whatever hideous thing is in there and it will start to get better.  Just very difficult to cope with at the time as it's so unpleasant.  I think bad dreams can be particularly hard as a good sleep is such a wonderful start to the day, whilst waking up with that in your mind can make it very difficult to shake off.  I hope it is all settling down and I'm glad you have your lovely garden to focus on during the day.  Hope you are doing okay xx

[lighter]

Well, my computer isn't too happy right now.  I can only get wifi in one room, and I'm sharing with oldest dd, so..... I don't get on very often these days.  I spend hours in the yard, then tend to the kids, and it's all I can do to stay awake to brush teeth and floss.  I was using the water pic too, which I love, but I'm just so tired.

So, here's my update.  The yard is coming along.  The front leaf pile area, outlined with an orange electric cord and roughly 160 lin feet, was covered completely in cardboard. We looked very post apocolyptic for a while there... many neighbors driving by, wondering how crazy I am, then going on their way.  They also wonder what the heck I'm doing in my yard so many hours a day, and then my sister joined in.  SO. MANY. HOURS.  They can't understand the whole pulling grass and weeds thing, while planting moss, bc they spend their time trying to kill moss while planting grass.  It's interesting to see them come around as progress is made though.

So, the cardboard was there till I'd finished my research and bought 2 pallets of medium sized riverrocks for the border.  I made the purchase at a country store, and they delivered the same day, dropping them CRASH into the island from the drive.  It was spectacular, and worked out well, bc I had them all in place in a few hours. Very satisfying.  Now the neighbors come by, and chat about their moss, and bring me pieces they find.  They  have a new appreciation for moss in general, which is nice.

My water pressure was very high... suddenly, and almost violent, which was nice after low hot water pressure for 2 years.  The down side was blown out hoses in the yard, and finally the dishwasher blew something underneath and flooded my dinining room and kitchen into the crawl space over night.  The plumber came out and replaced the valve INTO the house that controls the pressure from the street and he changed out 2 valves on my 17 yo hot water heater, which is next to be replaced.

He put in a dishwasher, which was nice. At some point I'll consider putting in an industrial vent over the stove/oven, which is a Jennair unit vented undereath. They odn't make them any more, and this one is pretty old.... expensive to replace with newer models.  Will think about that, but happy to have water pressure fixed.

I dragged a big moss covered stump home today, and thought about you, Tupp.  How the voices in your head assume negative things.  I met a neighbor, and she questioned me about where I was from..... was I from the nieghborhood, and what was my name, blah blah.  It felt like she was assuming I was stealing something, and I just had to remind myself that what she was thinking wasn't any of my business, and go on with the task at hand which I did.

This stump is glorious, guys.  Just lovely.  Must run and pick up kids.

We're all doing OK.  The kids laugh a lot, and cut pumpkins last night with friends... made gf apple dumplings, and loved on my roasted chicken. 

We're doing OK.

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

I think I have the same model jenn-air, Lighter - they only made one downdraft model. It's now discontinued, I believe. But I opted for a new Kitchenaid. Still dual-fuel, and downdraft. Should be here along with a new kitchen sink and counter in a couple weeks. Happy birthday to me. LOL. It was the first thing on the "list" but I was determined to keep using it until I got the more important stuff done. Now, I have to light one burner with a match... so the range is on it's last legs.

What are neighbors? LOL. Once or twice a week this time of year, I see my hunters. And coming back from the mailbox, passed the other recluse neighbor and friend on their 4-wheelers... me in the ranger.

[Hopalong]

Glad you didn't let that mosquito-neighbor bite, Lighter. Ugh.

Still wondering (wanting to get it) -- is your yard shady, and moss growing so well there inspired the moss garden?

I love thinking about it.

Hops

[Twoapenny]

Well, my computer isn't too happy right now.  I can only get wifi in one room, and I'm sharing with oldest dd, so..... I don't get on very often these days.  I spend hours in the yard, then tend to the kids, and it's all I can do to stay awake to brush teeth and floss.  I was using the water pic too, which I love, but I'm just so tired.

So, here's my update.  The yard is coming along.  The front leaf pile area, outlined with an orange electric cord and roughly 160 lin feet, was covered completely in cardboard. We looked very post apocolyptic for a while there... many neighbors driving by, wondering how crazy I am, then going on their way.  They also wonder what the heck I'm doing in my yard so many hours a day, and then my sister joined in.  SO. MANY. HOURS.  They can't understand the whole pulling grass and weeds thing, while planting moss, bc they spend their time trying to kill moss while planting grass.  It's interesting to see them come around as progress is made though.

So, the cardboard was there till I'd finished my research and bought 2 pallets of medium sized riverrocks for the border.  I made the purchase at a country store, and they delivered the same day, dropping them CRASH into the island from the drive.  It was spectacular, and worked out well, bc I had them all in place in a few hours. Very satisfying.  Now the neighbors come by, and chat about their moss, and bring me pieces they find.  They  have a new appreciation for moss in general, which is nice.

My water pressure was very high... suddenly, and almost violent, which was nice after low hot water pressure for 2 years.  The down side was blown out hoses in the yard, and finally the dishwasher blew something underneath and flooded my dinining room and kitchen into the crawl space over night.  The plumber came out and replaced the valve INTO the house that controls the pressure from the street and he changed out 2 valves on my 17 yo hot water heater, which is next to be replaced.

He put in a dishwasher, which was nice. At some point I'll consider putting in an industrial vent over the stove/oven, which is a Jennair unit vented undereath. They odn't make them any more, and this one is pretty old.... expensive to replace with newer models.  Will think about that, but happy to have water pressure fixed.

I dragged a big moss covered stump home today, and thought about you, Tupp.  How the voices in your head assume negative things.  I met a neighbor, and she questioned me about where I was from..... was I from the nieghborhood, and what was my name, blah blah.  It felt like she was assuming I was stealing something, and I just had to remind myself that what she was thinking wasn't any of my business, and go on with the task at hand which I did.

This stump is glorious, guys.  Just lovely.  Must run and pick up kids.

We're all doing OK.  The kids laugh a lot, and cut pumpkins last night with friends... made gf apple dumplings, and loved on my roasted chicken. 

We're doing OK.

Lighter

I'm so impressed with these enormous projects that you and Skep have thrown yourselves into, Lighter   It makes me think I really should get on with the decorating   It's nice that your neighbours are bringing moss over for you, I like that sort of community feeling.  When my son was younger everyone knew we did a lot of art and craft and that we home educated, so I'd often come home to find a box of recyclables someone had left for us to make rockets out of, or boxes of paper and pens and pencils when someone had a clear out.  It's nice when people think of you in a nice way like that

The negative voices when questioned - yep, I get that.  I think with me I am so used to questions being asked as a prelude to finding something to criticise that I don't factor in that 'some' people ask questions just as a way of making conversation, or getting to know you, or wanting to learn more about something that you do - for no reason other than in 'normal' society people do chat and exchange information without there being any sinister undercurrent.  The other thing I find difficult - and I wonder if you've had the same with your legal battles - is that there have been times when comments or pieces of information have been deliberately presented out of context in order to pursue a certain course of action, that wouldn't have been possible had all the information been put forward.  I think that kind of thing can put you on your guard and have you wondering what someone will do with the information they have gleaned from you - whereas from your neighbour's point of view she was probably just passing the time of day and didn't give your moss covered stumps a second thought   It's very difficult to move from that 'under seige' position to being relaxed and genuinely not thinking about what might be going on.  We all just need to keep practising, I guess xx

[lighter]

Eh,. Tupp.  I think the neighbor was sort of on patrol, frankly.  We're supposed to wear our little ID badges in the forest, and play warden sort of officially.  Some people ask to see badges, or so I've heard.  I think this woman covered the glorious stump a bit AND was feeling official.  Matters not.  My property borders the forest, same as hers.  We all belong.

About art stuff, Tupp..... I still have tons of it.  I use it.  The girls use it.  I'd be lost without it, and I noticed a chalk paint store, with work table centered in one half of the building, had jars and baskets of the same things I keep in jars and baskets.....within reach.... appreciated and lovely.  Create Tupp.  It's good for the soul, and we might find a good deal of relief if we create around some of our demons.  Maybe think of it as expelling them and caging them in the pieces.  I LL plan to burn them in my spiffy new burn barrel that burns very hot....very efficient. 

I'm channeling Buddha energy without thinking about it.  I seem to want to do what needs doing lately.  I'm enjoying doing things very much.  Even the small trivial things are enjoyable.
Light

[Twoapenny]

Eh,. Tupp.  I think the neighbor was sort of on patrol, frankly.  We're supposed to wear our little ID badges in the forest, and play warden sort of officially.  Some people ask to see badges, or so I've heard.  I think this woman covered the glorious stump a bit AND was feeling official.  Matters not.  My property borders the forest, same as hers.  We all belong.

About art stuff, Tupp..... I still have tons of it.  I use it.  The girls use it.  I'd be lost without it, and I noticed a chalk paint store, with work table centered in one half of the building, had jars and baskets of the same things I keep in jars and baskets.....within reach.... appreciated and lovely.  Create Tupp.  It's good for the soul, and we might find a good deal of relief if we create around some of our demons.  Maybe think of it as expelling them and caging them in the pieces.  I LL plan to burn them in my spiffy new burn barrel that burns very hot....very efficient. 

I'm channeling Buddha energy without thinking about it.  I seem to want to do what needs doing lately.  I'm enjoying doing things very much.  Even the small trivial things are enjoyable.
Light

Ah okay, so she was a nosey parker!  You do get those people who have a little bit of power and it kind of goes to their head   Lol, well hopefully now she knows you're all good she'll be a bit friendlier next time

Yes, art stuff.  Our things are currently in a big crate.  I'm decorating - slowly - and rearranging rooms and replacing furniture.  It's all being done a bit at a time, partly because of money, partly because of other things that need doing.  But what I'm aiming for is a good sized table and a desk in the lounge, along with the TV, record player and all our making stuff stuff in there.  I have a lovely picture in my mind of being able to sit down in the evening, putting on some music or a film and then tucking into some painting, writing, sewing or whatever else might be on the cards.  We're getting there slowly.

Hurrah for Buddha energy!  I've been suggesting to my sister that she focus her energy more into things she likes or that benefit her, and less into jumping through hoops for my mum.  She's at a point that I was at fifteen or so years ago.  I remember my therapist at the time gently suggesting that I decide what to do at the weekend, instead of waiting for my mum to decide and then leave me hanging.  I thought she was mad.  The idea of putting myself first was so alien to me she may as well have suggested I eat babies.  I do find I am impatient with other people when I see dysfunctional behaviour.  Because I see it quickly now, I expect everyone else to.  I forget it took me thirty plus years to wake up to what was going on around me.  I think I need a bit of Buddha patience.

It's nice reading your updates, Lighter, I'm glad your home is coming on so nicely and that you can put your Buddha energy into making it such a comfortable and welcoming space for you and your girls xx

[lighter]

Hi Tupp:

I'm busy in the yard, though I probly should be doing other things.  It's the rain though.  The moss loves it, and it's this gentle rain I love to work in.... about 70 degrees too.  Just can't resist it. 

I've been noticing how much distance there is between myself, and the negative fearful feelings I used to live by.  It's a relief, and I feel very sad for myself on some days... lots of compassion, which is lovely.  Today I was startled by a neighbor, and it reminded me that I don't live that way any longer. 

I have another somewhat elderly neighbor who bought a guard dog recently.  I've seen him a few times walking this spirited German Shepherd around my cul de sac.  I recognize his uptight fearful grasp on his situation.  He NNEEEEEDS the dog to feel OK in his world, but he's struggling to handle the dog at the same time.  His parents were murdered during a home invasion many years ago. The police just caught one of the offenders, and that's brought up fear enough that he got this dog that's pulled him over on the pavement, and had fights with other dogs.  I haven;t seen him lately, but I feel very sorry that he lives in such fear.  I wish I could tell him to buy a smaller dog, as an alarm, and protect himself in other ways, that would make his life easier, but he has to do what he has to do to feel safe.  I get that. Watching him BE in that space is a bit triggering, I realize.  I don't like it.  It's upsetting.  It makes me very sad for us both.

Have you made any progress on designated space for creative things?  I'm noticing a shift toward experiencing joy NOW.  No waiting.  There's a sense that life is short, and I have limited time with my girls, before they're off to college and beyond.  Tomorrow is promised to no man, so I light candles in my bathroom daily, use my tried and true peppermint and lavender blend of essential oils, and refuse to be too busy for self care.  Playing in the yard is part of that self care, btw; )

Drink water, Tupp, and remember to play.

Lighter

[lighter]

Tupp?  I was going to reply to you on this thread.  Where did you go?
Lighter

[lighter]

I pulled weeds 4 hours, atr lovely German bean soup,mmmmm, warmed me right up.  Very blustery cold today. 

My youngest dd15 and I picked a Christmas tree out and had it strapped to the truck roof.  She put wet paper towels onver the cut end and capped with plastic bag and rubber bands.  She's right....it does look like the tree has a diaper.

It's just wrong.  :: Shaking head::

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

I pulled weeds 4 hours, atr lovely German bean soup,mmmmm, warmed me right up.  Very blustery cold today. 

My youngest dd15 and I picked a Christmas tree out and had it strapped to the truck roof.  She put wet paper towels onver the cut end and capped with plastic bag and rubber bands.  She's right....it does look like the tree has a diaper.

It's just wrong.  :: Shaking head::

Lighter

Lol, I like that image, Lighter

I'm not sure if I replied earlier in the thread or not?  Sometimes I know I want to reply but don't have the time right at that moment and then forget - in my head I think I did it   But maybe not, lol, but your neighbour with the big dog rang a bell for me.  I get that need for protection so badly.  We have a ferocious cat

I'm impressed with your self care rituals, mine still go out of the window when I'm pushed for time; I'm working on it   The creative space isn't there yet as I've hit a bit of a stumbling block with the decorating.  We have a really big sofa - too big for our flat but I didn't realise before we moved in.  It's a nightmare to get in or out of the room (horribly tight fit and takes all the paint off the door frame) and there's nowhere else to put it because none of the other rooms are big enough.  So it really needs to go before I can get anything else done (I've done as much as I can but everything else now hinges on this sofa vanishing).  I've been advertising it as a give away for a month or so but nobody wants it yet.  I can have it disposed of but it's expensive and always seems such a waste to me - it's a nice sofa, it's just too big for our flat.  Someone else suggested cutting it up to get it out which again just seems such a waste.  So I'm holding on for the time being in the hope someone can use it.  It doesn't have the right fire safety certificates on it for a charity to take it and for the same reason I can't rehome it to a residential home or waiting room or something.  So either it will be someone wants it or it will go to the dump.  Hopefully the former.  But no creative space until it's gone xx

[lighter]

Ahh, Tupp.  I feel for you about the sofa.  I instinctively want to paint the darned thing.  Isn't that odd?  I do, though.  Maybe you'll find it a good home, and things will work out.  Wasting lovely things seems so wrong.

I have several large containers of new moss to plant.  I'm not up to it with this darned cold, though it might take my mind off the misery.  Today is better, to be fair, but youngest dd missed school with her fever. 

She has a voice performance tomorrow night at a fund raiser hosted by our school's music teacher.... record album release party.... very exciting, except youngest dd has a solo, and must perform with the cold AND she's not comfortable with either.  Also, the chorus will perform out of the audience, flash mob style, which isn't youngest dd's style. 

I bought a front row seat for it. 

::shaking head::

Poor kid.

Lighter

[lighter]

DDD15 appeared on stage and did what had to be done in a stoic, get the job over manner that was beautiful.

The chorus sang several ok songs, but oh my....the last one "Happy", was flat, slow and almost unrecognizable.

At the end I leaned toward the lady sitting next to me, a teacher from a private school who bought a 25.00 ticket out of the blue, and said....
" I bet you didn't see that coming," as the kids left the stage to roaring applause.  The teacher burst out laughing....there was laughter all night, and mostly great entertainment.  DD15 will speak to music teacher about asking the chorus to perform songs they can't pull off going forward.  I love that she's advocating for herself. 

The highlights of the evening....the fundraiser was a huge success.  Our gentle kind vetrinarian won the spa basket, which was amazing, and Gary Jules took the the stage for 3 songs.  He was funny and DD15 was over the top happy, which helped balance out the mortification of "Happy."

Lighter