HA!!! I get it about the knife work. You know, there's no grade or test or judgement about HOW you chop things, especially when cooking for yourself, right? There's not even any culinary reason for most "instructions". I do what I call the "farm wife" chop - which is usually bigger chunks/fewer cuts...
a) I like to taste the individual veggies
b) by dinner time, often my hands ache so much I can barely hold the knife
Which is why it's so lovely when B offers to cook; even when I had planned to make dinner, sometimes I'm just all used up.
I used to have a lot of anxiety over cooking, back when we entertained a lot at the beach. It was the country club set and there was no denying the reality that I WAS being judged; all the time. (That was how THEY grew up.) Never good enough because I wasn't brought up in that kind of environment, ya know? But I did accept the challenge and keep trying; some things were obviously easier than others.
I got pretty good at pulled pork BBQ; in a crockpot!
B sez he likes mine better than what we can get from the surrounding restaurants. And my chicken & dumplings almost always results in seconds. He can't eat seafood, but I do have a couple no-fail options for scallops & oysters. And I did finally make a passable Margarita Key Lime pie.
But it wasn't until I was on the mountain alone, that the desire to have fun with cooking returned. Now, I experiment with recipes and do it "my way"... and while it doesn't always look "right", it usually tastes good. Hol has gone through her own challenge with cooking - making a lot of things at home, that are sold prepackaged with all kinds of preservatives & sugar in the stores. Hummus, guacamole, salsa... biscuits & gravy... pizzas... lots of baking (she made B a chocolate mousse cake that deep dark chocolate on chocolate & cacao that was to die for).
Most of success in cooking, is just practice. But I STILL get a lot of tension in my shoulders & upper back, when making some things... and I have to stop - breathe - and consciously relax/stretch a minute. No one's starving, so an extra minute or two in the prep doesn't matter.
Gardening is the same way, for me. Getting up & down, it's easy for me to get wobbly and fall. Or get my feet tangled, etc. I lower the bar for expectations on myself, by reminding "me" that it's not a race, I can rest or drink as often as I want, and it'll get "done"... when it gets done. I do it my way, in my own time, at my own pace. Owning all of the process, seems to allow me to focus on the enjoyment & lets me slip into the "zone"... and then it's not such onerous "work". The more I do... the more my stamina returns, the looser my muscles get (flexibility has never been an issue), and the more strength returns. Little tiny baby step by baby step.
Yeah, Hol rubs it in how much more she gets done, being 20 years younger. But last week, she pulled out & heated one of my comfort heating pads too. LOLOL.
I was gonna shop yesterday but I couldn't do some of my "executive tasks" until today - so I'm getting an extra "light duty" day today, to recover just a little more. Mother nature is offering up the best opportunity to get spring chores done that I've seen in a LONG time. So, I can't take too long to get my energy revv'd up again. Soon it'll be 85, and I'll be limited to working a few hours early in the morning & late in the evening.
