make my day/give me your best paste on narcissism

[X]

ok to start things off
Narcissists are excellent at imitating emotions. They maintain (sometimes consciously) "resonance tables" in their minds. They monitor the reactions of others.

They see which behavior, gesture, mannerism, phrase, or expression evoke, provoke, and elicit which kind of empathic reaction from their conversant or counter party. They map these correlations and store them. Then they download them in the right circumstances to obtain maximum impact and manipulative effect. The whole process is highly  "computerized" and has NO emotional correlate, no INNER resonance. The Narcissist uses procedures: this is what I should say now, this is how I must behave, this should be the expression on my face, this should be the pressure of this handshake to foster this reaction. Narcissists are capable of sentimentality - but not of (experiencing) emotions.
from
that sam v guy
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/personality_disorders/narcissism/archive_2_1.html

[Y]

Seeing people as things is the essence of narcissism. Peck wrote this about narcissism, "Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others."

[mum]

It was so obvious that first paste was from that "Sam V guy".  The sheer perfection and precision and "skill" which are attributes he gives the narcissist, could ONLY come from a narcissist himself.  Ugggh.  Because of this, I have a hard time considering Sam V any kind of expert, except on himself.....but hey, he will be happy his name came up, no???

[dogbit]

Mum,  I agree whole heartedly.  There are many venues in which a narcissists can try to exhibit control.  If one is truly an expert, than shouldn't we seek them out instead of them invading our lives?  Bittles

[Z]

Akhtar (1989) [as cited in Carson & Butcher, 1992; P. 271]
discusses six areas of pathological functioning which
characterize the narcissist. In particular, four of these
narcissistic character traits best illustrate the pattern
discussed above. " (1) a narcissistic individual has a
basic sense of inferiority, which underlies a preoccupation
with fantasies of outstanding achievement; (2) a
narcissistic individual is unable to trust and rely on
others and thus develops numerous, shallow relationships to
extract tributes from others; (3) a narcissistic individual
has a shifting morality-always ready to shift values to
gain favor; and (4) a narcissistic person is unable to
remain in love, showing an impaired capacity for a
committed relationship".

[Narcissist or schizoid]

The analytical model of narcissism depends on too many hypothetical concepts, such as the collective unconscious, which are not supported by any concrete evidence. True the psychodynamic model introduces some hypothetical concepts of its own but these concepts are backed by Mahler’s comprehensive developmental theory. The existential model seems to confuse narcissism with the schizoid condition. By emphasizing the narcissist’s tendency to withdraw into the pleasures of the self, existentialists overlook the immense suffering which so characterizes the narcissist. The humanistic model shares much in common with the psychodynamic model about the etiology of narcissism. However, unlike the psychodynamic model it is rather vague about why this etiology leads to the emergence of narcissism.

IN THE 5 ELEMENT TYPOLOGY OF TAOISM
WATER IS SCHIZOID AND
NARCISSISM AKA PSYCHOPATHIC
IS WOOD

[compassion4narcissists]

No matter which approach is utilized in the explanation and treatment of narcissism it is important to recognize that the narcissistic individual is a complex and multifaceted human being. Deep inside narcissistic individuals experience tremendous pain and suffering, for which they attempt to compensate for by the projection of the grandiose front. These people are not character disordered. They are people tortured by narcissistic injury and crippled by developmental arrests in functioning which rob them of the richness of life they deserve. They are good people, who are hurting. They are living and suffering the narcissistic style.
from
http://www.bigwonk.com/show.php?cat=psychology&eid=1186

[mudpuppy]

They are good people, who are hurting.

Candidate for joke of the month. Good people. Har,har,har.

Suggested rephrase;
"They are bad people, who are hurting...... everyone around them."

[Anonymous]

If they are good people who are hurting - perhaps it would behoove them to do a bit of self examination to see WHY they are hurting.

When those who they are hurting speak up - the "good people" are not able to take a look at themselves and do some examination.

[mum as guest]

It is exactly this "compassion for narcissists" that has drawn many of us into the depths of darkness with those narcissists we now, necessarily, seek distance from.
NO ONE who is recovering from damage done by a narcissistic relationship benefits from more "sad reminders" that their "poor" narcissist is suffering. We know that.  Why do you think we got sucked into their pain in the first place?
Of course they are human, we all are.  Seeking a healthy life without assuming another's damage is not an inhumane course of action.  It is the single most compassionate thing a human can do for humanity:
Stopping the cycle of codependence and victimization.  Healing within.

Spare us the tirade of pity for the abusers.

[October]

IN THE 5 ELEMENT TYPOLOGY OF TAOISM
WATER IS SCHIZOID AND
NARCISSISM AKA PSYCHOPATHIC
IS WOOD

<and whole post>

Poppycock.  (Imho)        

[October]

Deep inside narcissistic individuals experience tremendous pain and suffering ....

They are not the only ones.  Please forgive me for not reaching for my violin.

[Anonymous]

It is exactly this "compassion for narcissists" that has drawn many of us into the depths of darkness with those narcissists we now, necessarily, seek distance from.

I agree 100% with you, Mum.

We've cut the N's enough breaks and have given them opportunity after opportunity to redeem themselves.  I for one am NOT a glutton for punishment.  

Mia

[Anonymous]

They are not the only ones. Please forgive me for not reaching for my violin.

 

Exactly, October.

We are all screwed up in one way or another.  The difference is some of us go around victimizing others on a daily basis.

Mia

[guestyet]

OBJECTIVE: This study examines the relationship between schizoid and narcissistic personality features. While the schizoid personality disorder seems widely accepted as a diagnostic category, the utility of the narcissistic personality disorder construct is under discussion. We regard schizoidism as a primary, structural disturbance of interaction with the world, whereas narcissism appears as a secondary phenomenon of self-organization and self-regulation. This study focuses on the question, whether these features are correlated or interact with each other in personality structure. METHOD: A standardized narcissism inventory is being applied to a group of schizoid and nonschizoid patients. RESULTS: Only 1 of 18 narcissism scales differentiates significantly between these patient groups. By cluster analysis, the group of schizoid patients is divided into two subgroups characterized by their higher or lower narcissism scores. These are contiguous to existing descriptions of an active/fighting and a passive/evading schizoid subtype. CONCLUSION: 'Schizoid' and 'narcissistic' personality features can be regarded as distinct, but complementary personality conditions. Copyright 2000 S. Karger AG, Basel