Janet,
Obviously, it takes a lot more than money to be a good father. If that's all there was to it, my x would be a great father as that is all he is choosing to do (or being forced by the courts to do) right now, but he makes a lot of money and writing a monthly check is easy for him. I think from everything you have said about your x bf, that he was lousy at all the roles he had--father, boyfriend, x-husband, employee, whatever. I think you know the answer to your question without needing to ask it. His claiming to be a good, caring father and demonstrating the opposite was just another one of the many red flags he sent up.
A good father, whether the family is intact or not, is one who not only supports his children and their mother if necessary, financially, but also is actively involved in their lives if they are younger, or maintains a good supportive relationship if they are older. I would never have a relationship with a man now who did not have a good relationship with his children--however that might manifest itself. To me, that is the most important criteria as it relates to their character.
Brigid
