hi All,
I was thinking about something this morning and thought I'd share. It is the idea that any of us have control over an abuser - things they say or do, by the things we say or do to them.
I really don't believe any of us have much impact on abusers. They're just there. In their world. We're in reality and they're so out of touch with it. Very very little (if any) of what we say penetrates. And if you think you're having an impact, one way or another? get rid of it, that toxic shame needs to come out. You are not at fault for abuse that happens.
Abuse happens. It just does. We sit by and watch, helpless. It can be happening to us or someone else. About the only thing we can do is stand by, ready and armed with hugs, for the person suffering the abuse - after it's all over and things have calmed down. No one is prepared enough - not the abusive one, the abused, or the onlylookers to do much else, we are too imperfect, all of us, to do much else. It's sad, but it's a fact of life. I'm sorry.
penelope
