Money is just money. It's not nearly as important as everyone wants it to be. It's just energy, like everything else. I know from my own life, that when I worry, the money faucet stops. Not a drop. When I don't worry, and have faith....like everything else, good things happen. A forgotten check will arrive, my realtor says my house is worth more than I thought (YAY), or some family inheritance shows up.....All I know is it's not worth losing sleep over. Well, nothing is (unless you are cramming for exams...that's worth the sleep loss).
I totally believe that I will continue to be a fortunate person, and in my book it means: food on the table and a roof over my head...and then some if I am lucky. I am grateful every single night for those two things, and well aware that there are many people in the world, for whom that would seem a luxury.
Am I debt free? No way. I was, before three years of legal fees fighting for my freedom! So nope, I have debt. I have a plan to get out of it. But I am not freaking out. I have yet to see where freaking out over money helps at all. And I have seen where it makes it worse.
I would have a few years back, but that was when I was married to a miser with a "poverty mentality". He was and always will be "the starving artist". Very proud of it. He used me and my good fortune (use to say: "this time around (I was his third wife) I got a better looking, younger wife, and a much better house "(it was and is MY house). He spent hours each day counting up where every single penny went, checking every reciept and tracking it on the computer (MY money, mind you). He focused so long and hard on those two nickles he had to rub together, that he missed opportunities for actually making money, and he resented the heck out of the "priveleged" clientele whose children we both taught. He hated money and never made much. Convenient, hating those more "fortunate" so that when you take 3 months off work each year you can somehow make that ok in your head (at least I am not rich??? HuH?)
My first husband (the one y'all hear about here a lot) makes tons of money, and likes to spend it on "interesting" things, that make him look good/interesting/smart. And he likes to hide it from his kids. But you know that story. And as rolling in dough as he is, he also has a poverty mentality as well. His goes like this" there is not enough _____ (fill in the blank with money, love, fun, stuff) to go around. There is a limited supply...so I will hoard what I can". He likes to flaunt what wealth he has...because it's an extension of his....um... Ego. yeah.
Some people in my family are in horrible debt, but they spend money like crazy. Not my job to judge them. Some people in my family make a lot of money and criticize those who don't for being in debt. Whatever. Not my place to have an opinion. I figure both of these types are entitled to thier opinions. I've got too many other things to think about than what they do with their money (or lack thereof).
Write: But if someone was taking advantage of me like your friend, I would definately put up a fence. I was appalled by your friend's behavoir. That's not really about money. That's about boundaries and a total lack of integrity.
"Neither a borrower or a lender be": good advice. It's hard to lend without attachment or borrow without guilt.
