In Defense of Denial

[Hopalong]

I think so too, Moon.
I think I can take some small action to help Africa.

It does the opposite for me, really. When I do nothing to help the situation I feel more afraid (I think because I'm consciously turning my back on my own humanity.)

I'm not doing anything complicated. Just joining a church effort, sending a tiny contribution, writing a couple letters and signing email petitions to the UN. It's a few hours out of my life, that's all.

It's not about fear, for me. It's about love.

Hops

[moonlight52]

Hey Hopsy ,

Some are so afraid.

Also your article on Dr G's thread .Very interesting .

For those that feel they have all the answers maybe there will be a few surprises in the future.

Will there be serenity for one that may think they are Holier than God ?

This man's religion leads him to believe God is on his side.

I believe mankind is responsible for what happens  on Earth, the freewill thing.

He is a political person not spiritual In my opinion.



love,

moon

[Certain Hope]

Dear Plucky,

 Just wanted to say that I think this is brilliant and so true:

 I don't think that refraining from being constantly outraged is to be in denial.  There are many wonderful things about the world which deserve to be seen and appreciated.  If we stay in a state of struggle against the bad, we remove our ability to value the good and visualise the world we want to live in.  And what we see/hear and think are what we become.  The good, the gentle, the beautiful, will vanish from the world if there is no one to nurture it with attention.

Thank you for putting words to what's been on my heart so much lately.

Hugs,
Hope

[Plucky]

Thank you Hope.
Hoppy and everyone, I don't feel afraid about Darfur, I mean I don't feel personally afraid.    I am very afraid of the consequences, but my main reaction is shame.  I am ashamed of the human race.   I am horrified.

I don't think for one minute I can stop it.    Short of setting myself on fire in front of the Capitol,  I do not have the means to change anything on my own.  If everyone wanted to change it, and did the little bit that I can do, it would change.  All I can do is to decide what I am capable of and to faithfully do that.    So I send money to the Oxfams and the like, faxes to those sheep in congress, talk it up, and buy t-shirts.   And I educate my children not to grow up to be someone who can turn away and shut up.   It is not enough.  It is such a tiny thing.  And I am such a tiny part of the world.  I'm not in charge.  But I can do my part.  I must.  But it mainly benefits me to do this.

The fact that there are the Darfurs in this world means that I have an opportunity to determine what I think is right and what is wrong.  What I need to focus on and know and what I can safely ignore.  Who is a person, or brother to me in this world, and do I think of anyone as outside of that definition.    What I really need and what I am greedy about.    That is the good in this colossal evil.    I am not going to give up, just because I don't have great power.  I am still going to be against it in my own little way.

Plucky

[Hopalong]

Bravo, Plucky. I think your voice does make a difference...because there are a lot of people who share your frustration and decide to make their small statements too.

And I add my gratitude for this perceptive remark:

I don't think that refraining from being constantly outraged is to be in denial.

A true and merciful thing to read.

Thanks, (((((Plucky))))

Hops

[Stormchild]

Hi Plucky

It's not just in Darfur. What worries me is when people focus all their attention on issues that are a nice, safe distance away, and neglect the issues in their own towns, in their own back yards, in their own families.

Not to say we should not give money and time where we can. I give to Doctors Without Borders and to Oxfam, and to a no-kill cat sanctuary, and to the peace churches, as much as I can.

But I don't think that excuses me from the responsibility to clean up my own act, to make an effort to address my own unjust actions - people I may have been tempted to ignore and shunt aside in pursuit of professional success, because 'office cliques' don't like them; people whose needs I may have slighted because I was more interested in relationships with Ns [that failed anyway, no matter how many friends I sacrificed, surprise surprise]; people I may not have stood up for when they needed someone, and I was the only someone they had; people I claim to love, yet I won't make even the slightest effort to examine my own actions towards them... actions that may have hurt them, repeatedly, for years.

My mother was a great one for charities. Oh, how she displayed her largesse to the neighbors. Oh, how she boasted about her generosity.

And oh, how she abused and slandered and betrayed her own firstborn child, almost every single day of that child's life.

I've just realized this morning that today is the exact anniversary of her death; she died October 9, 2000, and it was the Columbus Day holiday then as well. I've been fighting off a vicious respiratory infection all weekend, and it came on suddenly on Friday night. Anniversary reaction, I'm almost certain, because I was ill the weekend she died, and she died of a respiratory infection.

So a lot of old memories have risen to the surface. But I think it's important to share them, lest we forget - it's nice to be good to the people out there; it's easy, convenient, and just costs money and the time it takes to write a check. But it is also important to be good to the people 'right here'. And that is usually neither convenient nor easy.

[Portia]

I'm so glad that so many people do act to help people in terrible situations, both on their own doorstep and far away.

I don't give to charity. i give food and drink to people on the street sometimes. If i was different, I'd join various organisations and fund their work (if I had the cash and didn't object to their advertising and fund-raising methods).

If I was different again, someone driven by a 'cause' perhaps, I might be out in Africa working as an aid-worker.

Or if I'd been a bit more brutalised at home, I might be a foreign correspondent.

Or if one of my parents had died before I was aged about 14, i might be someone very 'successful' who could afford to make huge charitable donations and have some fund or thing named after me.

But I'm not any of those things. I like to look in people's eyes and help them how I can; it might just be with a conversation, to help them feel less alone or afraid. Little tiny things.  I yam what I yam.

[Hopalong]

No underestimating the impact this can have....

I like to look in people's eyes and help them how I can

Y'know, I feel as though you've treated me the same way, here.

((((P))) you make the world better.

Hops

[moonlight52]

CONSCIOUS HEALING LEADS TO WORLD COMPASSION.

 I recycle negative emotions and step sideways."I thought I was done with that", judgments ,shame,doubts, abuse,misperceptions about dark/light and free will/control .

These memories from childhood and FOO must be resolved and then leave space for stages of grieving.It is like removing old wounds of denial ,anger,blame,regret hurt all this healing brings acceptance.

I wish to let go of  emotional addictions.I do not wish to re create negative emotional respones or sabotage self.Working on it.

Helping anyone feel less afraid is a big thing really.

(((((((((((((((portia))))))))))))))))))

Hugs

moon

[Plucky]

Stormy et al,
I agree totally.  I heard a quote from a spouse of an activist years ago.  I guess the man was known and respected in the community for his acts but had neglected his own children.  She said, "It's much easier to be out there than right here."
Plucky

[Hopalong]

I agree, too, don't confuse The Starving Chinese with your own neglected children, of course.

But it's not either-or. Just a need for balance.

I do fear that we will let Darfur continue with that as justification (I've got to be good locally and in my own family, nothing left for them). I think one of these: writing a few letters, sending a few dollars, standing outside for a few hours, is not unreasonable.

Anyway, people's level of activity on social justice/religious action things is a personal choice. I do understand. Sometimes I haven't budged on a very obvious cause and others have been bewildered. So I don't mean to preach. Just exhort, maybe. But with respect for every individual's right to choose.

Maybe if the only person I inspire to act is me, that's just what I needed to accomplish! 

Hops