Pt. 3 Sharing feelings
There can be undercurrents of bad feelings which don't get talked about. One technique that can bring this out is to do a feeling circle, in which everyone in the group expresses how they are feeling. For this to work some ground rules are needed:
· · Only one person speaks at a time around the circle.
· No defensive reactions are allowed in the circle.
· Start your contribution to the circle with "I".
The goals of the feelings circle should be written down and placed where everyone can see them. Some sample goals:
I am here to learn about my neighbors and myself.
I will listen carefully with an open heart to what you have to say about me.
I will speak for myself only, and speak the truth as I see it.
The way feeling circles work is for members to simply state whatever is on their mind. For example, a member might say: " I'm feeling disappointed because no one else helped me work in the garden yesterday." This helps focus the group on feelings and also can define some larger issues for discussion. For this kind of sharing to work it is important that the circle not be interrupted by defensive answers, but that each person is allowed to speak without interruption. Participants have to be free to express feelings without immediate reaction. If this becomes part of the meeting routine, even very shy individuals may come to express themselves. A nice addition to this is to add a "I really appreciate_____" round at the end.
Sometimes feeling circles can be focused on a specific issue. They can be a way of dealing with a particular issue, a conflict between individuals, an individual behavior, or even as a healing source for someone who loses a family member or has some other personal crisis. Or they can be general in nature, focusing on getting to know one anothers histories by responding to set questions such as: A story from my childhood, people that are important to me, lessons in life I have learned and who taught them, the most important thing I ever did, the most dangerous moment in my life. These kinds of sharing circles allow people to learn about each other in new ways.
Pt 4: Triangulation (Skipping Active Listening as we are not "all present" in a group - so doesn't really apply)
