el,
Missed not hearing from you. Glad for the update. Glad for the new job in the library. All those books...delightful. Do you find the atmosphere soothing?
Yes, I am INTJ. I know of several more on the board including bean. When I took the test and was positive INTJ, I thought, Well, that explains a lot! Especially when I also ended up being the Mastermind type. I think they're only 1% of the population. Being a woman mastermind (I don't see myself that way, but the test says I am) makes the way I am even more rare. Anyway, when I found that out, I thought, No wonder my mom who is ESFJ and N didn't know what to do with me! I quickly went into the bad girl, bad guilt/blame mode. That was then. I don't do that anymore.
My Nmom reserved the 'right' to beat me. I believe my Dad stood in the gap, so that it never became severe. In all her ways, she was and is N. I'm so sorry there wasn't a compassionate person to stand in the gap to prevent what you and your sisters have endured. I know your plate is full, but I hope that somewhere in the system, you will find a way to expose your dad's savage behavior and the appropriate tether will be put on him and his ways.
I'm wondering if your dad is ESFJ. My mom is. Here is a portion of the ESFJ personality type that I think fits her. Of all the personality types, ESFJ is the only one with what I perceive as a warning. I don't mean that as a put down of ESFJ's in general. Obviously they have outstanding qualities except when their life tracking system is out of whack.
ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
My experience with a parent is nowhere as dramatic and overtly mean as yours and GS, but when I found out my type, I felt a greater sense of freedom.
Hugs,
tt
