Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?

[BonesMS]

There is one situation that occurred last night that has me scratching my head and pondering the following question:

When does normal healthy adolescent narcissism become TOXIC NARCISSISM?

To illustrate the above question, here is what happened last night while we were in the Green Room...

I was talking with one of the older teenagers who was asking me questions about genealogy, describing what little family history he knew, asking how he could learn more about his own history, and so forth.  The other older teenager, who is the same age as the first one walks up to us and I included him in our conversation and described the first teenager's family history and how fascinating it is.  The second teenager blatantly demonstrated that he found this topic boring and proceeded to talk about himself and all the FAMOUS people HE KNOWS and bragged about how these FAMOUS people are HIS friends!   Confused

I think I started spotting some RED FLAGS!

What do you think?

Bones

Hi Bones,

 I feel teens are closer to toxic than ever. This encounter doesn't surprise me at all, sad to say.

I think technology has played a big role in the rift of preteens/teens, it's all about me! So yeah I see a red flag too. : O

It's wonderful to hear about your play. It sounds exciting. Enjoy!!!

How are you feeling?

seasons

Thanks, Seasons!

The play finished its run on Sunday, June 13th.

Physically, I'm feeling a little tired and emotionally, I feel drained, because I caught bf in a blatant lie that finally made me realize that what I thought was a relationship had been nothing but a sham without any substance on his part.  It finally drove home the following point for me:

Narcissists are NOTHING but FACADES WITHOUT ANY SUBSTANCE!

The flats on the stage were more genuine than he had ever been.  It hurts and, at the same time, I am learning to recognize what is healthy and what is not.  I finally understood that I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".

Bones

[Hopalong]

Bones,
I'm sorry for the sadness and loss (of a hope).

But GOOD FOR YOU for befriending reality:

I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".

Painful as it is, there's nothing ultimately healthier than accepting what is.

That frees you to concentrate on changes YOU can make.

And you can/should continue in your life, to seek and find support, help, friendship...that ain't over.

But, ow. I'm so sorry.
It will get better, hon.

love,
Hops

[BonesMS]

Bones,
I'm sorry for the sadness and loss (of a hope).

But GOOD FOR YOU for befriending reality:

I have to take care of myself and my health because he is simply "NOT THERE".

Painful as it is, there's nothing ultimately healthier than accepting what is.

That frees you to concentrate on changes YOU can make.

And you can/should continue in your life, to seek and find support, help, friendship...that ain't over.

But, ow. I'm so sorry.
It will get better, hon.

love,
Hops

Thanks, Hops!

I really appreciate this!

Bones

[BonesMS]

I'm also feeling very cranky, right now, as a result of the emotional fallout with the NIdiot.  So much so that I got very cranky with one of my distant cousins who "forgot" and sent me ANOTHER chain-mail e-mail after I had specifically asked him SEVERAL times to PLEASE STOP FORWARDING CHAIN-MAIL TO MY INBOX!

He has a history of sending me politically-charged e-mails and even racist jokes that are all chain-mail.  I had politely told him that I am NOT a republican and to please stop forwarding chain-mail that push Bush/Cheney agendas and criticizing Obama.  Then, when he forwarded a chain-mail racist joke that used the "N-Word" as the "punchline", I REALLY cranked out on him and reminded him that I had previously told him that I AM PART AFRICAN-AMERICAN and I do NOT appreciate being called the N-Word!  He was appropriately embarrassed when he realized he had committed a major OOPS!   

A little while ago, he "forgot" again, and forwarded ANOTHER politically-charged chain-mail that criticized Obama, again, and praised Bush.  I became REALLY cranky at him and fired off an e-mail reminding him that, via our common patriarch, whether he likes it or not, Obama is a cousin and he needs to show more respect to family members!  I got another apology.  I'm wondering how long it's going to take before my cousin "forgets" again and blows up my InBox with more forwarded unwanted chain-mail!  Sheesh!!!!!

Bones

[BonesMS]

NIdiot woke me up with an early morning phone call attempting to pretend that everything was "back to normal"!     I hung up on him!

Bones

[BonesMS]

Emotional pain brings out the worst character defects!   

Bones

[BonesMS]

http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/grandson-victim-of-mother-daughter-estrangement.html

What do you think of the above?

Bones

[BonesMS]

I'm feeling REALLY CRANKY AND CRABBY this morning!  Now I find myself dealing with not ONE male IDIOT but TWO!!!!   

While dealing with NIdiot #1 who just DOESN'T GET IT about how his behaviors hurt others, I received a letter, this morning, from a Narcissistic Ex informing me that he is coming to the high school reunion WITHOUT his wife and including his phone number in the letter with a not-so-subtle hint for me to call him!     (He will get NOTHING!!!!!)

I'm convinced that Narcissistic men are ALL IDIOTS!!!!!!!!     

BLEAH!!!!!!!!!

Bones

[BonesMS]

NIdiot showed up in the middle of the day, acting as if everything is back to normal and expected me to give him a hug and a kiss.  He got a door in his face!   

Bones

[BonesMS]

Null

Bones

[BonesMS]

I look back on NIdiot's past behaviors and realized that his lack of empathy should have been a HUGE RED FLAG from the very beginning ten years ago!  If only I knew then what I know now.

Bones

[BonesMS]

NOT feeling good today!

Bones

[Hopalong]

I'm sorry, Bones.

Are things harder, emotionally, on weekends?

I used to find that was a pattern for me...

love,
Hops

[BonesMS]

I'm sorry, Bones.

Are things harder, emotionally, on weekends?

I used to find that was a pattern for me...

love,
Hops

That plus I had another attack of spastic colitis while I was having dinner with some other friends.  NOT a fun way to have an evening out of the house.

Bones

[BonesMS]

I'm feeling a LOT of different emotions today and NO WORDS to describe any of it!

Bones