Author Topic: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?  (Read 1306996 times)

BonesMS

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BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #4568 on: June 09, 2013, 05:25:17 AM »
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20130609

Sounds like the letter writer is dealing with an N.

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BonesMS

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Ales2

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #4573 on: June 11, 2013, 10:52:39 AM »
Interesting post on the sister/estranged brother parents paying for wedding.

I agree with Prudie, dont allow the parents to manipulate your day/wedding/life choices with their wallet. If she is going to be successful at married life, it means being independent and not letting any others, including family interfere.  That said, Prudie does not mention the other side, which is the parents will claim they were manipulated in return by not being involved and not paying. They will say they were "deprived" of giving their daughter a happy, socially acceptable wedding send-off.  There will always be the "you never let us help you, you shut us out" attitude.  Its another form of manipulation that the bride needs to be aware of.  I wish Prudie had mentioned this next step, I call it the boomerang effect. I could usually take the first step, but its the boomerang manipulation that stops me from moving forward.


 

BonesMS

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Re: Is It Always N Behavior to Violate Others' Boundaries?
« Reply #4574 on: June 11, 2013, 11:38:47 AM »
Interesting post on the sister/estranged brother parents paying for wedding.

I agree with Prudie, dont allow the parents to manipulate your day/wedding/life choices with their wallet. If she is going to be successful at married life, it means being independent and not letting any others, including family interfere.  That said, Prudie does not mention the other side, which is the parents will claim they were manipulated in return by not being involved and not paying. They will say they were "deprived" of giving their daughter a happy, socially acceptable wedding send-off.  There will always be the "you never let us help you, you shut us out" attitude.  Its another form of manipulation that the bride needs to be aware of.  I wish Prudie had mentioned this next step, I call it the boomerang effect. I could usually take the first step, but its the boomerang manipulation that stops me from moving forward.

 

I agree.  I get the impression that many of these advice columnists don't get it when it comes to dealing with the N's that we are painfully familiar with!

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