My Feelings

[Certain Hope]

Dear Izzy,

For most people I've encountered in my life, they say they "love" me, but that has nothing to do with knowing me or wanting to know me.
So I think that there's alot of "love" which is only as deep as a puddle after a 30- minute rain... and that seems to be how it is with people whose only true love is their own comfort-zone.

I don't feel that anything just happened in these past couple weeks, Iz.... nothing new. I'm sorry they haven't written to you. I guess we're not supposed to apply "shoulds" to others, but I sure think that they should have. It's just their little puddles would disappear in your ocean... because you're genuine... and they are very afraid of that. I'm sorry they're so afraid... and Izzy, I feel that you are more than only curious, but if curious is enough, then so be it? Maybe you all are just oil and water... or maybe it's just that they fear what they don't understand. Either way, it's too bad. 

Hugs,
Hope

[isittoolate]

Thanks Hope

I think that none of them even know who they are so cannot get into what we do here. Our parents never knew either.

Because I hurt so bad, I investigated! so that still leaves me different from all of them, and finally it is okay with me!

So they will talk facts to the very end, but not real feelings.

Noi! Nothing different happened except they know I am soul searching and how boring!

it's 8:12 ans I just put dinner on, so must watch it!

Love
Izzy


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[changing]

My Dear Izz-

I am sure that your silly unaware sibs love both you and your seafood and pasta salads ! Unfortunately, you may be in the sometimes lonely position of being "the only adult in the room"- with no one there at your level to talk to, or commune with- no one to "grok" you. Maybe I can Dumb you down a bit? No, don't think so... you are like a proud eagle, gliding above, watching below until she swoops down, then ascends again. Can be lonely sometimes, but lofty!
Oh, the wintering tree and castle images you posted really resonated- there is a poetic soul within that scientific high-tech mind of yours, Eagle-Eye!
Hope you have a good night, my dear.

Your adoring fan,

Changing

[isittoolate]

oh changing,

"The only adult in the room"...................I love that! I feel that! There never was anyone there at my level to talk.....but what is 'grok'? Is it an alcoholic drink or a way to 'put someome in his place'?

I see it all so clearly now, that there was never any sharing and caring talk in the whole family. We were 7 strangers living in the same house, and we are still 5 strangers, with the parents gone!

You are so insightful and so good for me. I am alone but not lonely, and I am just seeing that if I hang out with someone (s), that he/she must have more to talk about than the weather!

I'll have a good night with my book, Nekson DeMille. 'Up Country".

Have a good sleep

Love Izzy

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[isittoolate]

I have to take back every negative thought and word about my bro (and sis, I hope) as he was away at the cottage and sis is still away at hers.

I had itched for so long, that when I replied to him today, I said it must have been the pleasure of their company that made the itching stop and maybe we could bottle the both of them as an anti-itch medication.

I wish I hadn't been so ready to jump to a negative conclusion, as he said he was happy to hear about my breakthroughs.

However what is likely possible, he (they) wont want a steady conversation about this. but if I have ONE acknowledgement each of what I revealed, it will be okay--so bro has sent his, and now to wait for sis.

Sometimes I am too quick to jump to a conclusion........................but it's good exercise!

Izzy


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[Certain Hope]

That's wonderful news, Izzy... and also a good lesson!

I'm so happy to know that they weren't putting you off, just busy with their own affairs... and that your brother recognizes the great progress you've made.
I hope you'll hear from your sister as well, soon!

[Hopalong]

 

SO glad to hear it, Izzy...so glad your assumption you aren't loved or valued was wrong!

love
Hops