My Aunt

[Ami]

Loving Ami and Loving Aunt, a gift of love. (((seasons)))

   



Thank you, dear friend,
  I really appreciate it.                    Love Ami

[lighter]

Ami... this isn't about being popular..... even if there was a most popular board resident rock star position..... which there isn't.

This is about people keeping up with other posters, caring about them and using their voices. 

When you accuse other posters of being N's or having an attack agenda against you ( makes no sense...) it's a slap in the face to giving voice to everyone who posts here. 

You're free to embrace certain views and opinions and discard certain others, like everyone.... and you're also free to fall down and assume a wounded victim position, I guess.

But encouraging Gabben, the newbie poster to defend you [/i] from posters who've been here since before you arrived is bad ju ju.

 Hops isn't trying to bury you under garbage and Ive been posting here since before you arrived.  I only knew enough about you,to give advice,when I took Lighter as my screename.)  I guess you liked me fine as long as I was just posting support.... and you thought I liked you. 

It's true, there's always someone to defend Ami from opinions that don't sit well with her.  I think that's part of your genius... but I don't think it's serving you well on this leg of your journey.  I think everyone here needs support and advice.

Popular and praised is a fine goal, Ami.  I may need to take a step back and realize this board's for everyone..... even those who want support in remaining exactly where they are. 

Like Izzy says..... she can't relate to certain threads and she just stays away.

I guess I have enough information from you, at this point, to figure out that advice isn't what you're here for. 

You're here for support. ::nodding::

I just have to reconcile it with the disparity of your words... you really sounded like you wanted to move past and feel better.  I don't I believe that any more....  I know I did this morning.  Eh, who am I kidding, disparity of words and deeds makes me throw up in my mouth.  Yup.  I don't like it, Ami.  That doesn't mean I don't like you but..... I'm so far wanting to put up with someone saying one thing and doing another..... I don't want to come here and do it too, KWIM?

Guess I'm just working this through as I go..... needed to be done for the boards peace of mind I suppose. 

SUPPORT ONLY.... it would be nice if you'd include that in your thread's titles somewhere... save us some drama.... which I care about.

Whew... I don't have to go into any of that "good intentions can be attached to things you don't want to hear" crap. 

Tell Bill Cheney and Gabben Rumsfeld they're very nice supporters.... you don't need no stinkin advisors, lol.

In the meantime, you don't have to bother clearing up that factually flawed statement you made about my bullying Jac off the board.... ::hand over forehead::  You were just trying to talk her back into feeling safe on the board. 

It's wrong and it casts a very evil light on me but.... somehow.... I don't think you'll lose any sleep over it.

Sorry I threatened you so much you felt the need to do that.... ghastly to tell fibs that far off the mark.

I feel so much better...... clarity is a very good thing. 

I'm going to go to a funeral parlor now..... an aquaintance passed away Sat.  She got sick Friday.  Sudden.  7yo son. 4yo son.  2yo daughter. My oldest had a crush on her oldest when they were 4.  I can't believe she's gone.... that her children are motherless..... she was the breadwinner too.  Terrible terrible. 

Kind'a makes it easier to put things like this behind, dont'cha think?

[Gabben]

But encouraging Gabben, the newbie poster to defend you [/i] from posters who've been here since before you arrived is bad ju ju.

Ami never encouraged me and as a matter of fact she strongly discouraged me in order to protect me from getting stomped on. I have the IM to prove it.

I can see who Ami is. I make my own decisions about what I want to do here. I don't care about being liked or popular. Gave that up a long time ago. I just want to quit smoking and give support and get some too.

I don't care if people don't like me -- I know who I am and I know what I do as well I am starting to like me now. I think I am OK.

All that I wrote was just from my own heart and thinking.

Peace,
Lise

[Ami]

Lighter
 Do you want to just end it here? We each have many issues to heal. Want to just call it quits "hurting ' each other. We need help in our lives ----Let's not "eat each other up". What do you say?                                Amil

[Overcomer]

Wow you guys.  I have not kept up with this thread because it seemed such a benign topic-but so many pages?  I had to read.  I was watching a soap opera but I have to say this is more entertaining than the soap!  Sorry but I am laughing!  Changing is THE nicest person EVER!  Ami, You keep on lamenting.  Lighter,  your observations are often insightful and you have every right to state them.  I personally never let ANYONE push my buttons.  I take what I need and leave the rest!

[wiltay]

Ho hum,  this really isn't ANY different than the all male boards I've been on since about 1994.  Same stupid crap. Same juvenile flame wars that serve no other purpose than to vent someone's spleen and entertain the bored(board, isn't that cute).  Squabble, squabble, squabble over petty personality dislikes.  Always one bully with a mouth trying to pick fights because someone they don't like is getting too much attention and this is a great way to get it for themselves.  And other people that think it's all put on for their own personal amusement.  No difference.  Oh what fun. 

[Overcomer]

I would not call it fun but I would call it funny.  Everyone seems to have a valid point.  Just like my ex and I used to do.  We would end up arguing and start yelling and then towards the end of the fight we would realize that we were agreeing at the top of our lungs!

[wiltay]

Overcomer, I don't see anything 'valid' about bullying other people.   

[isittoolate]

Oh Don't listen OC
He jest wants to start a squabble with you
Oh, OC, don'tcha cry now
His drawers're in a knot and the blood ain't gettin' through

[Overcomer]

Hi Iz.   thanks for trying to protect me but I do not need it.  Am-I love ya.  lol  I guess you could call me the comic relief.  I agree some people can get a bit edgy around here but you just gotta let people work through their stuff in the way they see fit.  I have stated it before and I will say it again now-on email or on an online community like this you read the written word.  You cannot hear inflection in voices nor can you read body language so you cannot really know the intent.

[Ami]

Izzy,
  I think that was an "uncalled for' comment. I think that you should remove it and replace it with an opinion, if you care to, and not an"uncalled for"insult  .          Ami
                                                         

[Hopalong]

Hi Bill,

I also have read several of your recent posts as baiting, using hostility and sarcasm to exacerbate conflicts.

The tone of them strikes me that way, anyway.

I have read many of your previous posts as thoughtful, helpful, and insightful.

So there's Bill A and Bill B, as with all of us...

Hope to see more of Bill B again soon, I am learning from you.

How are things going for you, Bill? Have you found new friends since the Randy debacle?
I hope so.

peace,
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
  . I think that it is an unfair characterization of Bill .
 He used his voice when he saw bullying---that was all. I don't see anything  inappropriate in that---not at all.
  Remember Kitty Genovese. Of course, she was getting killed. However,it is nice when someone does stand up to something that is WRONG. It shows character--not weakness.
  I have been ignoring little snipes at me for a long time. Someone else had a stronger voice and just stepped in.
  It is nice that sometimes someone  will step out from the "crowd" and DO something.
 That is just the difference between people. I ignored . Maybe,I was wrong. I respect someone who will stand up. What's wrong with standing up, Hops.?                                                       Ami

Hops--I think that it is unfair of you to "throw" Randy in to it.It is a "low" blow .I bet that you really didn't mean to hit that low.

[Leah]

Dear Hops,
  . I think that it is an unfair characterization of Bill .
 He used his voice when he saw bullying---that was all. I don't see anything  inappropriate in that---not at all.
  Remember Kitty Genovese. Of course, she was getting killed. However,it is nice when someone does stand up to something that is WRONG. It shows character--not weakness.
  I have been ignoring little snipes at me for a long time. Someone else had a stronger voice and just stepped in.
  It is nice that sometimes someone  will step out from the "crowd" and DO something.
 That is just the difference between people. I ignored . Maybe,I was wrong. I respect someone who will stand up. What's wrong with standing up, Hops.?                                                       Ami

Dear Ami,

There is a wonderful old saying, maybe it is a proverb .... "there are none so blind as those who will not see"

There was only ever caring, insightful posts by those who could see and were becoming increasingly concerned for the welfare of a friend here on board, and I include myself.

Try and stand back a little dear Ami.

Mindful of your last 3 postings on the tread "Things I Don't Like"

Love & Peaceful thoughts.

May God bless and guide you.

Sincerely yours,

Leah

[Hopalong]

Not a thing, Ami.
I think it's good to defend someone. And it's good to have friends who respect and understand your process,
as so many do here. Including Bill. (Bill B... )

I do not experience Lighter as a bully, though.
I think she's blunt sometimes, a little disrespectful when frustrated.
But I hear caring underneath all the effort. She's worked hard to help people here, including you, imo.

Sometimes people in my life who've been very blunt with me
have spoken big truths to me. Whether they were doing it perfectly or not.

I
did
not
like
it
no
I
did
not
like
it
at
all

...but in hindsight, my wounded feelings/ego turned out to not be an accurate measure of what they were doing.
I still might not like some people much, but they left gifts for me in their wake...

Does that make sense?

Hops

PS to Bill--I'm not trying to "enemy-ize" you. Not at all. I went to camp, didn't like it. Don't want no enemies!
Just wanted to say what I see.
It's only my eyes. So if you don't think I'm seeing anything valid in it, that's okay.

Pax,
Hops