Hi, I am Jenocidals aunt. I know her like she was my own daughter, and what she says about her NParent is very true. Jenocidal has suffered things growing up with her NMother that you wouldn't believe if I told you. She always had a special spirit and I would see her mother darken her world every day with violence and bitterness. Everything that her NMother suffered during her life since childhood, she took it all out on her precious daughter. I know, because I was there and I was also dominated by my sister since we were little girls. Then I felt helpless to do anything about it when I would see her strike her daughter (Jenocidal) across the face.
One day, we were sitting around the kitchen table and her mother was worked up about something. We were talking, when suddenly Jenocidal came up to her and asked her to look at this song she had just written. Instead of being suprised and delighted and taking the song and reading it on the paper, she procceeded to scream at her and punched her right in the jaw for daring to interupt.
I saw that and I was devastated and did not know what to do. This was my sister against her own child, who was barely even into her teens yet. She started to sob and I felt helpless to do anything. I stood up -- I said how what she had just done was wrong, and I kicked her out of my place and then after she left I called the child protection services. Of course, they "investigated" and nothing was ever done. She had talked her way out of it, again. And my niece had just undergone only one incident out of many in her lifetime, growing up.
It wasn't the physical violence so much, we all had had a taste of that -- it was the emotional trauma and terrorization. She lost her little spirit, and I would try to tell her that it wasn't her fault, when she would be sobbing. Her mother was supposed to be her world. When that world becomes so hurtful, she had no where to turn for answers.
I see her now as reaching out, and she has finally gotten some critical answers to what was happening to her. For this, and you people who have gone and/or are going through the same or similar situations, I am eternally grateful. She needs all the support she can get, even though she is an adult now. That child is still screaming "why" inside, and she is finally starting to find some answers that make sense.
Thank you for this board. Without the answers, she would be eternally asking the same questions over and over again. It helps to be able to relate to others when you have been convinced that you are alone in this world and no one understands. They do understand, even though their situations were different.
Jenocidal, as for confronting your mother, you know as well as I do that it will never, ever sink ion and she will never, ever realise what a beautiful, precious daughter she has always had in you. This is the biggest tragedy of all. Her own mother never knew how special and precious she is.
