I do have to say, that in my case, my efforts to look less like my N mother have made me more self-confident. I like myself better now. Besides a few minor cosmetic things, I've also worked very hard to stay thin, and fit, nice muscle tone, etc. M never took care of herself, always sat around the house eating bon-bons, and look like an old hag by the time she was 30 (some of that may have been her personality disorder taking its toll - her world was so full of hatred ). Anyway, I actually feel better about myself for going through the transformation from the pudgy frumpy teenager that she wanted me to be, into a thin, fit, youthful looking woman. Aside from the benefits of losing the once striking resemblance to M, my body is healthier for it.
In MJ's case, I don't he he was ever able to reach the point where he liked himself, or liked his looks. One surgery wasn't enough. He was SO insecure that he had to keep going. I do think he was trying to "escape" from his past. When you're raised by someone who is an extreme N, you're damaged goods, and his case, the damage was probably too extensive to deal with. Even though he was always surrounded by people, he was truly alone. When you're a huge celebrity, people just tell you what you want to hear.
It seemed that right up until the end, the father had control over him. Immediately after Jackson died, the father was on the scene, took his children, and has been very vocal about the investigation. Even in death, Michael is still being controlled by him.
Interestingly, I grew up in the Hollywood area, and N mother tried to force my younger brother into showbiz as well. He never wanted it, but like Joe Jackson, she was determined that her son become a star. He was forced into private acting schools, figure skating lessons, archery lessons, dialect coaching . . . etc etc. He was also deprived of a normal childhood while she was doing everything she could to make him "marketable." Fortunately, he ended it when he turned 18 and went to college, but he never made it as an actor. MJ was already a superstar by 18, so there was no turning back.
I worked in the talent agency business early on in my career, and one of those agencies represented children. I could tell you stories that would curl your hair. Every single one of the parents were Ns, BIG TIME. I left for an agency that didn't rep children, because I couldn't stand to watch these poor kids being forced into something they didn't want to do just to please Mom. In recent years, many Hollywood talent agencies have dropped their childrens divisions, because the parents are just too difficult to deal with. Stage mothers, especially the pageant moms, are the worst form of narcissism you'll ever see. It's very very sad.
