The silence of NM's actions

[swimmer]

I don't have a specific story to tell now.  I'm just in awe at how powerful the actions of a narcisstic mother are.  Are people blown into silence over disbelief of how cruel they really are?? 

I'm just waking up to how "out of it" (lack of better words, sorry) people around NM's are.  I really feel sorry for how emotionally numb N feeds are.  It must be money, these MM's are paying people to have thier backs (just kidding).

Thx for listening, I'm having this really lucid moment about the absurdity of how people just go along with what crazy people say.... WHY, WHY, WHY?????

[Portia]

Hey Swimmer
It's an insane world too. Look how folks like 'strong leaders' then look at how N (at least) those leaders are. Look at how stupid people in positions of power are. Look how afraid, or how hateful, they are. Obama excepted here. Look at their cronies.

WHY? Hey we live minute to minute. We feather our own nests. It's biology and survival. That part is human I reckon. Who cares as much about a kid in some distant country as their own child? That's human.

Ns feed Ns too. Hey one of my caretakers was cruel but once, for many years, I would defend that person to the limit. My denial was almost absolute. It's just a human way of surviving (denial).

Ns aren't really powerful at all. Their supporters are, if only they realised it. ((((swimmer))))

[Logy]

Yes, Portia.  Survival.  All this abuse begins the moment a child is born.  You are solely dependent on this person for food, shelter.  They are all you know.  If they isolate you from "normal", it becomes your normal.  Breaking free feels simultaneously like killing yourself and like breathing your first breath.  Once you breath that first breath you need to relearn everything you were taught.  Like being an infant in middle age.

[Portia]

Mmm Logy, almost, but not quite? Isolate anyone completely from normal and are they ever able to break free? I don't know. I had some luck and love. Yes, breaking free is a sort of death and feels like an internal shattering. But I reckon there has to be some basic foundation there to build on, so it's not, to me, quite as dramatic as I feel you're saying. I probably need to relearn about 80% of everything I was taught, but there's a core knowledge that was there anyway. Otherwise I'd be a complete nutter. And I'm not!

[swimmer]

Thx for your input and thoughts Logy and Portia:))

I just want to stand up and say, what the H*** is going on around N feeders.  The elephant in the living room has to find another place to hang out.  I realize the reality of N's and the unfairness of life etc.... I'm proposing, life will move on if N feeders are kicked off thier base of comfort.  It is refreshing to think that I don't have to be understanding to N feeders.... And just say, sorry but I think your crazy for going along with this regime.

It's hard to articulate my thoughts about the experience of N's sometimes, even on this board.  I have a very strong fear of being misunderstood and made wrong. 

N's just don't derserve to be understood.... I know they can't help it, but I'm through being Mother Teresa to my NM.  The N feeders can go find someone else to fill the role.

[Portia]

Swimmer, I might understand N-feeders, but yeah, i don't have to be understanding of them, or enable their enabling. Step away from the game. And certainly no more Mother Teresa.