Spirit , Do you have a sense of being a part of a larger whole? That you have a place on this earth naturally endowed by our creator- however you perceive that to be?
You are in essence worthy of your life, of all your feelings, even of all your emptiness. You are worthwhile just because you are.
In my darkest days - seeing the mess that consisted of my life- I had images come to mind of highly functioning retarded children,. Aware enough to understand what they were, and that they would always be relegated to a life deemed by others as less worthwhile. Other images were of people crippled yet self aware, who were unable to bathe themselves, or attend to the more personal needs of their bodies. I saw in these images their shame, yet also the understanding they were no less than anyone else for their assorted handicaps. They were equal participants in the world, just by being born.
Now that you are coming into awareness of the work you have to do, that you have been under a cloud of unknowing, your heart feels like an arm coming back to life after you have slept on it too long- The resulting pins and needles sensation is excruciating.
The images I saw were messages to let me know not to be ashamed, that my retardation - my social blindness and emotional /mental handicaps - were a result of parents who were incapable of being there, attending my needs. In essence, I was still a whole complete possibility- it was now up to me to fill the cup. We have to be kind to ourselves, and let the shame go, and give ourselves time and room to grieve.
Aren’t you thankful to have found the road to healing? There are countless others out their wandering in the dark. Everything we learn and do for ourselves can have a second measure in helping someone else along the way.
Take care, dear Spirit, Phoenix
