Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Making New Friends
Hopalong:
I think you're doing some GENIUS introspection, Tupp!
Seriously. Kudos for a great deal of meaningful reflection,
which is showing so clearly your intelligence and determination
not to live on autopilot w/old reflexes.
You are LIGHT YEARS ahead of your FOO role models...
carry on! You are yes you are getting somewhere, this all
is real, and not wasted, and worth
CELEBRATING!Sincere H/T (hat tip)--and hugs,
Hops
Twoapenny:
Aw, thanks, Hopsie :)
I am processing a lot at the minute. I keep 'sensing' my stepdad - that hasn't happened for a long time - and I'm having to sleep with the light on. I've been dreaming about my mum - last night in my dream she was really nice to me, when I got home she'd cleaned my house and told me I looked tired and that she'd make me a cup of tea. I woke up crying, she'd never do that! So I'm assuming the friends stuff is somehow linked to other old stuff and now is just the right time to sift through a bit more.
I'm having a literal clear out and spring clean as well, there's something about the house feeling lighter and easier after a good clear out. I've been focusing on myself a lot and I'm amazed at how much I'm able to get done (and how much better I feel for doing it) when I'm not jumping to other people's tunes. I've always felt I had too much to do and that's why I never had time to do what I really wanted; now I'm starting to think that other people have too much they want me to do and that's why I never get to do what I want :) Have been eating nice meals, watching re-runs of shows I like, reading and writing, as well as lots of playing with my boy and clearing out the cupboards. Things are good.
Thank you :) xx
Hopalong:
I'm so happy to hear this, Tupp.
I love the method of dream interpretation that goes, we (or some element of ourselves) is EVERY element in our dreams.
(I guess that makes sense since dreams come from our own subconscious minds, where all the debris and such gets tossed around and processed in some way...)
So...that makes me see YOU as the loving, nurturing mother in your dream. Mothering yourself, genuinely.
(And the same you who is taking care of yourself is also doing that by respecting your wish for the comfort of the light on, when the stepfather memory makes a visit.
You know just what to do. That ghost will get bored and be off, soon, I bet.)
Sometimes with fearful things, we revisit them sometimes. And maybe it's just to measure our progress.
Light on? Very reasonable comfort choice.
xo
Hops
Twoapenny:
Hi everybody,
I just thought I would update this a little as things seem to be going well :)
I have been trying to be more 'real' with people and actually talk about things, good and bad, and trying not to filter what comes out of my mouth (which is second nature to me).
A very nice by-product of this is that I'm receiving some really good advice, some nice comments (positive things! Some people are positive!) and I am generally feeling better about the whole 'people' situation.
I also realised recently that I have a very odd sort of perfectionism thing going on, where the bar seems so high it stops me from bothering at all. I think I've become almost paralysed by fear over the years regarding all sorts of things - my friends, my family, my son, my home, work, my lifestyle and so on. I also realised how much I feel I shouldn't be allowed to have fun. So over the weekend I've tried very hard to put that to one side and just go out and not worry about how I talk or how much I weigh, or whether or not I've 'earned' the right to wind down at the weekend. It was quite hard work, to be honest, but I did enjoy myself and I am going to keep on that track and keep trying to change that.
I've also got into a really nice habit of meeting with a couple of mums from swimming each week for a coffee, they're both really lovely and funny and as it's coffee it's quite quick and therefore wasn't too intimidating to start off with (if you know what I mean).
I've also realised that I think I set the bar too high where friends are concerned - a bit all or nothing, they're either great or they're rubbish. So I'm trying to work on that, just accepting people as they are and not stressing about what they 'mean' by their actions ("oh" as Hops would say) :)
Anyway I just thought I'd share that in case it helps someone else out xx
BonesMS:
(((((((((((((((((((((((Tupp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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