Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Preparing to be assertive!
lighter:
Tupp:
For me, it's not just about "holding people accountable," it's about getting to the exit door.
IF I invest time and funds in going on the offensive WILL it end my struggle sooner?
IF I file complaints against opposing counsel, will that stop the current legal actions against me, or at least end the next one before it begins?
CAN I impact my situation?
CAN I get myself to the exit door more swiftly, or am I on a set course no matter what I do, so why put any effort in?
I can tell you this......
I had to put the effort in I have or I would have lost everything.
I tend to think that's been the case with you as well.
Now we can see light at the end of the tunnel.....
is it really close to being over for us?
Are we fooling ourselves?
Don't know....
::shrug::
Can we sit back, and wait for things to be over, or do we have to be proactive to get to the other side?
Up to this point I'd say I could have shortened my struggle by being more proactive than I have been, but it's impossible to know for sure.
Frankly the lack of knowing for sure has been vexing me, and it will interesting to see how things turn out so I have those answers. I'm pretty sure I've wasted energy in some directions that could have been better spent in another, and on it goes. At some point I'll sit down and figure out what time was well spent, and what wasn't. Right now I'm going to raise children, and take whatever steps I can to keep moving toward the exit door according to my attorneys and gut.
Looking back, my gut's almost always been right.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
((((((((((((((((((((((Lighter)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
It's so wrong that people find themselves in situations like this, having to fight for no real reason other than someone else having an issue with them and deciding to run it to the nth degree.
Not being proactive - at certain times - wasn't even an option for me, as I'm sure it wasn't for you. If I hadn't fought I'd have lost my son and, given that the claims against me were that there was nothing wrong with him at all (it's now looking like he suffered a brain injury during the birth) he'd never have got any of the care and support he needed if he'd not been living with me. The thought of what they would have put him though by refusing to accept he was poorly is something I just can't think about. And if there was any threat like that to him again I'd fight tooth and nail a second time, too.
But, as you know, kids need to be raised, and that takes time, energy and money, especially when they have health problems. Getting to the bottom of whether or not he did suffer a brain injury is going to be another battle on its own, as is finding another law firm and getting that ball rolling with a view to a negligence claim. The false accusations - at this point, if the most I can do is have my amended version of events added to the files, that will be enough. If I can take it further, great. If not, that's okay too. I'm at that point now where I just want peace in my life. I want to enjoy my son, get out and make some new friends, start re-building a life that isn't based on my mum's notions of how I should be living and isn't controlled and influenced by her. What a lot to do! I think now it's fight where it's necessary and conserve energy where possible. It's taken a toll on my health, physically and mentally and I don't want it to get worse.
I am hoping, so much, that your situation resolves in some way that is okay for you and your kids. There was a long period for me were giving in just wasn't an option. Now it feels more like a tortoise and a hare situation; I can still resolve it in a way that suits me, but I can do it at a slower pace. I suppose I feel I am in control of this now, whereas for a long time other people were and I had to work at their pace.
(((Lighter and kids)))
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---I am in control of this now
--- End quote ---
HUZZAH, TUPPPPPPPPPPP!
xo
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on August 24, 2013, 08:46:02 AM ---
--- Quote ---I am in control of this now
--- End quote ---
HUZZAH, TUPPPPPPPPPPP!
xo
Hops
--- End quote ---
Ha ha ha :lol: Thank you, Hops :D xxx
lighter:
Tupp:
When we aren't meeting crisis, and rising to threats we have more choices about how we spend our time.
The children won't be children for long, and so we turn our attention to them.....
what else can we do?
Be as proactive as we can, where we can.
OK.
Do what must be done to get to the exit door.
Yup.
I saw a saying in the store the other day.....
"Life isn't about learning to weather the storm,
it's about learning to dance in the rain."
How do we spend our moments while life goes on around us?
What do we choose to latch onto, and give our time to?
Learning to make time for special rituals with our children, and especially self care, is difficult. Esp when chaos and crisis is raging around us.
It sounds like you're focusing on the right things. Not giving up the good fight, but shifting your intentions, and remaining mindful about what you want to give your son, and have for yourself.
Yes: )
Lighter
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