My brother and just life and stuff

[Hopalong]

It's really maddening to work for a crappy business.
Especially as smart and creative as you are, Boat.

Hang in there,

Hops

[Meh]

There is a therapy session going on behind my back. My back which is propped up against the wall in my small room.

The roommate decided to turn the room next to me into her office so that she doesn't have to pay money for a legit office space. She lives in the living room with her 18 or 19 year old son. Bed side by side.

I feel like a mouse that can't move. I want to take a shower, my room is a mess, I need to move stuff around and clean.  I didn't know this was the day her client was coming in.

LOL,  ..... it amazes me that anybody would pay her for therapeutic counseling. I guess people just want to feel like they have (guidance)   and   (not alone)   and  that somebody else (knows better)....

This evening is something that might as well be scrapped. Oh wells.

[Meh]

Bleh, I come here and complain. Bout it.

.... "This is your life"......  that is what she is saying to her client.... I feel like this breaches client-therapist confidentiality because I can hear every thing they say.

I don't know if these clients might be out of their minds or just average people IDK.

It's a man getting therapy for some kind of relationship issue with a female in his like, I think his mother. I was trying not to pay attention.

I guess she can't do this on the weekend so she has to do it between 8-9 PM on a week night.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I have been spending time on dating sites. Wasting guy's time. Because I am too chicken to meet them in person, I figure the chances of it working out is about like finding roommates on Craigslist but at least I don't have to screw my roommates.

[Meh]

Wanted to write though all the things I have to speak about are mundane types of things. So wrote and then erased the writing.

Wish it was okay to have a mundane outlet that I could speak even if what I have to speak about isn't impressive to anybody.

Yah. Had dinner, having a beer will jump into the shower and sleep.

[Hopalong]

Aha! I humbly submit my confidence that I can help you with this dilemma!

I, Hops, Queen of the Universe, Hereby Decree that the Personage Known as Boat That Rocks, Green Bean, Garbanzo, and I Forget, Doth Have My Imperial Permission to Wax at Any Length of Her Own Choosing Upon Matters Great, Small, Mighty, or Miniscule, of Whatever Importance or Lack Thereof is Meet in the Judgment of the Forenamed BoatBeanGarbanzoIForget, Etcetera....

I think there are other Queens and Kings o' Universe hereabouts...I believe I've met them in my Potentates Anonymous meetings, so do hope they'll also chime in....

xo
Hops

[Meh]

    Hops

You're so funny.. !

[Meh]

Lonely and in pain from a BAD and rare hang-over. + some varicose vein type issues in my legs....ouch Alcohol is not good for this.

Now eating too much cod liver oil for some inexplicable reason... Time to just take a shower and go to sleep for heaven's sake.

[Hopalong]

Step
away
from
the
beer

...and have no hangover tomorrow!

xo
Hops

[Meh]

DOWN:  My mother sent me an email saying that if I don't respond to her she worries, but of course this is only after she completed a long vacation NOW that her vacation is over she requires a response from me.

I almost wrote "Thanks, I don't need it. Why worry at this point (brother's name) is dead.

The I censor myself thinking well maybe this isn't mature... Bleh   


UP: High light of my day was buying my co-worker a giant Easter egg and then filling it with Black Jelly beans because she told me she liked them. Though I am not sure if this was really much of a gift. It was her Birthday. At first I thought she didn't like me when I first worked there she gave me weird looks. Then we sat next to each other and started talking, then we got moved apart then the new seating chart put us back together now she talks my ear off... I think we might be sort of friends IDK she is just a talker I think. But it's nice sitting next to her. She told me that it was the high light of her day... didn't dawn on me that anything I would do would be the highlight of somebodies day


DOWN:  My crazy roommate offhandedly told me some dude is moving in this weekend by the way... and she is going to be out of state when this happens.. I feel uncertain about her like... hum is she coming back?   And I think she smelled like marijuana unless it was her food, not that it's a big deal, it's really not but still... Its a weeknight.       GROUCHY I so need a home. 

[Meh]

Just a question to myself:   "Do you ever ask yourself WHO is really running the show here, being the SHOW which is my life)    I am

[Hopalong]

Yes, you are.

And anyone cool enough to do the black jelly beans gift...has a lot of promise ahead.

I hope you seize the reins and take yourself seriously and take yourself to every
resource--including education or more education--that you can find.

You can build something, Boat. I am absolutely certain of it.

You can build a life.

If you'll dive deep inside yourself for that purpose, and commit yourself to
step by step, creating a life. Small step by small step...

I will be here in 5 years, or 10, absolutely thrilled by what you've done.

xo
Hops

[Meh]

@ Hops   

[sea storm]

Garbanzo,

You are awesome.   I love your posts.   Black jelly beans are so unique and thoughtful. There must be a better living situation. Almost anything would be better. A strange guy moving in and she just drops it on you. This is pretty crackers of her.

I totally agree with Hops that you have untapped potential.  Your mom continues to yank your chain that is for sure.

I am sorry for the loss of your brother. It has been a lonely road.  I know it has been for me but it is ok now. Coming here helped to take me to another reality where I can let people in and keep bad people out.

Lots of love to you Garbanzo.

Sea

[Meh]

@ Sea & Hopster... Thanks guys 




Do what makes yourself happy.      

This is something worth pondering for a few minutes each day...

[Meh]

some guy on a dating site has asked me to go on a cruise with him, I haven't even met him in person... kind of nutz   dating stresses me out I swear I can't handle it, it's all like cause for a total neurotic, anxious meltdown.  yeppers that is the truth of me