Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

My brother and just life and stuff

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Meh:
Bleh, crazy storms outside, thunder and pouring out water.

I want to write sort of. Got to move again major remodeling is going to happen in this apartment and my room mate wants to cut her lease early. I kind of hope they post pone the remodel but I doubt that is going to happen. Sigh. And of course it's expensive to move etc.

Hopalong:
Aww, Boat.
I'm very sorry for that hassle.

I hope you find a spot that will feel good
and that you can snuggle into...

Hops

Meh:
Thanks Hops.

Meh:
I could probably stop writing about me discovering my mother's Narcissism or whatever she has. Because that is like a done deal.

Now, maybe I am at some kind of loss.

I wish there was something that replaced my family experience but there wasn't and there isn't even a point in talking about that any more is there?

My aunt in Pennsylvania (my father's sister) sent my mother a card intended for me I guess. With a photograph of my grown cousins. I guess one of my cousins has a family which is kind of weird to me because the last time I saw my cousins we were all still kids ourselves.

My father contacted me via email saying that he wanted to give me my great grandfather's accordion (Something my brother coveted I guess). My brother did have it.
Thing is I really don't want to be bothered. I don't have any use for this stuff.

It's kind of like now that I am older, there is no continuation of family and what existed before seemed fake now. I'm tired I think I am going to sleep soon

Hopalong:
I can relate, Boat.
Every now and then I wake up just stunned that I'm essentially family-free, now.
I do still think about it.
But it is less fresh, and the wounds are healing.

I focus a lot on my PHamily of chosen friends, and do experience my UU community as family.
They are in my life weekly, at least, and usually more than once.

It helps so very very much.
Otherwise, I would feel alone, peripheral, always on the fringe.

It took me a few years to intentionally build all those relationships.
And I am still open to more friends.

love
Hops

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