starting a new project

[Ales2]

Feeling much better today, I was having a crisis of confidence and self doubt from friday to yesterday. Back on track today though. I decided that the T I saw really was not the one I needed and I was able to let go of his books and articles. I tossed them, they were actually insightful, but so heavy handed with personal responsibility that I felt like an even greater failure. He knew I was terrified to go back to work and work again with another N or bully and really did nothing to help that fear or encourage me in employment.

[Cadbury]

I'm glad you're feeling more like yourself. It's worth finding a T you feel good with. It took me several attempts and my last one was perfect. Specialised in women with abusive partners (and having and three, I felt I qualified!). She understood so much and is the only reason I'm not more ruined than I am. Good luck!

[BonesMS]

I like that idea bones! Thank you

You're welcome, Cadbury.

[BonesMS]

Bones - that is great advice!

I did find that writing the story I could speak to the N, say things I wish I had the courage to say, cause trouble passively, be vindictive and have bad things happen to him and her (there are two in the book). Basically some things I wish I could do in real life (no, I dont mean the intention infliction of harm, but the speaking up and reporting people appropriately part, without the backlash) and that was very helpful. It was also educational, I could see alternate choices/actions I could have made and even speculate on the consequences of doing so. You are on to something with killing them off.....

I also gave the Ns a conscience and as soon as I did that, they became likable, so I took that out and they now seem more robotic and cruel...in other words, more realistic. 

 

Glad to help.