Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Still need to work through early trauma
Ales2:
Thanks GS for your comments. I hope the brain stimulator and Tapping works for you.
The disempowering self can be strong, especially in times where it has been activated before, like being between jobs. I can only deal with most of those things through some online hypnosis and meditations I frequently listen to at bedtime, they help me fall asleep. Then during daytime, I have to confront those things head on just by working through them and being aware of where I am affected by them. Things like being making calls for work, being assertive, believing in the best for myself, and staying autonomous (ignoring naysayers, avoiding frenemies and small minded people). Other than that, I am not sure how else to deal with it, also being aware of triggers helps.
Good luck to you - and check your inbox/email I sent you a personal message. :)
Gaining Strength:
Tapping does not work for he but the EMDR is giving me temporary relief which is a start. I'm hoping the tDCS gadget works as well as the one in the doctor's office. It costs under $150 v $2500 for the one from the doctor.
This EMDR technique (v the EMDR treatment wi a therapist) is giving me immediate release from anxious tension that has plagued me lifelong. My poorly trained brain however, immediately dials in for more trigger memories (mindset really.) but the interesting thing about this is that I continue to receive more and more insights. Plus things that happen in the present are not having lasting effects that they have all my life. So that is superbly positive.
I have an inkling that this process will have a cumulative effect but that it is like cutting down a forest one tree at a time. It takes persistence over time to make inroads. Well whether there is a big effect or not the small effect is something and I take comfort in that.
Ales2:
My day was predictable. On the way to breakfast, I was thinking that NMom would call me to ask about TGiving again. She asked me last week and she knows I don't come home for holidays anymore ( 2007 xmas was last time). I am currently LC, which means only civil contact. I dont share anything about my life other than whether I have a job or not and nonsense about my two kitties, thats it. Every other aspect of my life is private and I prefer it that way.
Anyway, when I leave breakfast, I can see she called my cell phone. So, in the car I call her back and as is predictable, its a health problem. On friday she had a detached retina and had to have laser procedure that evidently did not repair it and she has to go back tomorrow. She never once asked about TGiving, but her history with these "medical crisis" always seem to come when she wants attention. I also do not speak to my brother anymore, (since xmas 2013) and so there is no one I can call to verify her story, which could be totally false as I have found out in the past. She is/was a hypochondriac. Sadly, I dont care much, whether its real or fake. She has played so many games of manipulation and control and I cannot get involved. I just stay detached.
But, life continues to be predictable.
Hopalong:
I understand, as I had an Nmom...but then again, her vulnerability
later in life was real.
Emotional detachment with civil LC sounds like a healthy approach.
I hope whatever her real or exaggerated medical crises,
you are able to continue with steady Ales-care.
Blindness is a very hard thing, so I hope the retinal re-repair is successful.
Fingers crossed you'll manage what you must but stay serene and well!
Hops
Ales2:
Thanks so much Hops for your comments. I stick with Ales-care always. priority one. Biggest thing I can do for myself is watch any thoughts that come from the disempowered self, those always lead me astray. Overeating or overspending on credit are traps for me and the $$$ one makes me more vulnerable to her Nism.
Thanks, hope you all have a great holiday!
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