Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Still need to work through early trauma

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Meh:
This is bad for the environment but sometimes I just go to a dollar store and buy packages of disposable plates (I don't use them all the time)... but it can be a break.

Dishes are perpetually created

Gaining Strength:
Honestly Garbanzo. I think that is brilliant, at least until I get back to normal.  It's funny you suggest it. I thought about it a month or so ago and then forgot to follow through.  I'm going yo do it to at least lighten the
Load for a little while.  Then I can gave some on Gand to use if I start to get behind again.  Once I get behind the task is so big that I feel defeated before I start.

Thanks.

Gaining Strength:
Seeing bits of progress with mindfulness practise.. As I progress I become increasingly aware of how powerful a grip my never ceasing self condemnation has been.  It has put me in a state of perpetual condemnation, shame, and anxiety.  Now I am getting moments whe it all beaks and that when I see how it has been in complete controll.

So much shame.

That is the crux.

Gaining Strength:
This helps me understand why I've looked for constant distraction.

Expectation - obligation generate shame.  That comes with every chore in life. 

Now I begin the reversal.

Gaining Strength:
As I become more aware, more present, I am able to see that I am beginning to be able to choose to not react in shame.  It is like a muscle which I have become aware of.  It must be developed. But at least I now am in touch with it.

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