Is this why all the regulars on this Board (except for Mud) are women?

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

"Men are 'more narcissistic and entitled than women'"

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/290511.php

"A new study on narcissism that analyzed decades of data from almost half a million participants concludes that men are more narcissistic than women..."

Richard

[sea storm]

Yes you are so right.  Men are not active here.  Maybe they are the quiet ones. I have often wondered when a post has 3000 hits and only 10 replies who are the people who are just listening and why do they just listen and don't come forward to help. Maybe its because there is small army of men out there starved to hear and experience feelings but can only be witnesses and can't participate.

Good grief.  You spoke the unspeakable. We never mention that Mud is a guy. He is very much an honorary regular and just like us sort of. He comes through as very male which is so refreshing. Also he is revered and treated quite affectionately.  I don't think that men are that different when it comes to being victimized by a narcissist but they go for comfort in different ways because they are so full of testoterone.  I don't think they are more narcissistic. Just more blockheaded. When freaked out they don't cluster around the well and share their woes and comfort each other. They go get active or watch action games on tv or turn to alcohol and sex. Men are changing for the better some of them. Maybe they would come here if it was still open. It is still so socially unacceptable for a man to have a full range of feelings.

thanks for being a male and coming to this board.  you are welcome here for sure\

Sea

[mudpuppy]

An email from a regular here touched off a realization in me a day or two ago.
I am as far in the empathic direction on the empathy scale as an N is in the other direction. Not sure how that works in the same family but there it is.
I'm so far that way that it makes me a mark for people who like to take advantage, but I'd rather be a mark than have a hard heart.
It also leads me to be attracted to women who have been hurt. The problem is women who have been hurt are sometimes approachable like Mrs Mud was but sometimes they're like trout in a quiet pool; poke just one tootsie in the water and they shoot off for the shadows because the last thing they want is another hook in the mouth like the last jerk gave them.
Once they're spooked it's pretty hard to convince them you just wanted to take them someplace nice to have  dinner not fry them up in the pan for dinner.

Revered? Yowza. Could I have you give the cute little fish I spooked a call, SS?

Mud

[Twoapenny]

"Men are 'more narcissistic and entitled than women'"

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/290511.php

"A new study on narcissism that analyzed decades of data from almost half a million participants concludes that men are more narcissistic than women..."

Richard

Dr G, I was wondering as I read that article if either there are different kinds of narcissism and/or if it's a term that people use in different ways?  I know lots of people who feel entitled/constantly take selfies/ are always in charge but they are nothing like the horrendous kind of soul destroying vampirific adults that so many of us on here experienced in our lives.  To me the article didn't touch on the abusive nature of narcissism that I've experienced so it made me wonder whether people talk about it (and use that term) in different ways?

I do think women tend to find it easier to talk about their problems and look for people to talk to, whereas I think a lot of men tend to keep quiet and channel it into something else (like their job).  So I've no idea whether there are more women here than men because women find it good to talk or if more men are narcissistic and therefore don't need to talk about it?  In my personal life I think I've only ever met one man who would fall into the narcissitic category as I see it (as a place of abuse) but quite a few women, but then real life doesn't usually reflect studies so that doesn't really help!

[sea storm]

Mudpuppy..... don't be shy with scaredy fish.  Explain to her as a good N that you just want to know what she wants and you will be happy to accomodate.  Remember you are a catch.

Its tough out there in the dating scene.

Sea

[sea storm]

Love is irresistable. If she is freaked out and no wonder given what  zoo it is out there, then try again and show her some love.

I have a man friend who is like that.  He just persists in a kind and gentle way and its taught me a lot. I am more likely to vanish without a trace but he just keeps up the connection.  Then we morph into another place in our relationship.

sea

[sea storm]

sorry for giving advice.  I don't know anything really.

Sea

[mudpuppy]

No problemo, SS.
She's been a friend for a long time so I'll just paddle around on my back for a while and wait for her to be comfortable to come back out of the shadows into the middle of the pool again. When she does, if it's only like it was before, that's perfectly fine.

mud