"Why smart people are better off with fewer friends"--Washington Post

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

Here's an interesting article from the Washington Post (brought to my attention by one of my dear patients) discussing the work of two evolutionary psychologists, Satoshi Kanazawa and Norman Li:

"Why smart people are better off with fewer friends"  by Christopher Ingraham, March 18

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/18/why-smart-people-are-better-off-with-fewer-friends/

(Message board friends fit, of course, into a different "category." )

All comments welcome...

Richard

[Twoapenny]

Well I found this interesting although as I feel I would like more friends I think this must mean I don't fall into the 'intelligent' category

I feel I need more love and acceptance in my life to make me feel more satisfied?  Perhaps that needs to come from me rather than other people, though?  I have got friends I would definitely like to see more of but interestingly I find that the more 'successful' people are the less time they have.  I don't find that makes me feel happy if I'm missing those connections but maybe that's because I'm not replacing them with something else (like a job I love or a long term project that I'm making good progress on).

Good food for thought, I'm going to ponder on this some more

[lighter]

Oh dear....

who could make sense of the first paragraph, and had to read the second to make sure you got it?

"The effect of population density on life satisfaction was therefore more than twice as large for low-IQ individuals than for high-IQ individuals," they found. And "more intelligent individuals were actually less satisfied with life if they socialized with their friends more frequently."

Let me repeat that last one: When smart people spend more time with their friends, it makes them less happy.

::raising hand:: 
Was it just me, lol?

I don't think I fall into the very smart category either, Tupp, but I do think I have to stop thinking about the things that are usually on my mind when I'm engaging in social activities.  Finding like minded individuals feels like home, where people who have completely different life views, and interests is draining and something I apparently avoid.   That's going to have to be OK.

Lighter

[sKePTiKal]

People spend time with people, so that they're not alone with themselves. Some people feel terribly uncomfortable being alone. At least in the modern world, where we depend less on our interpersonal relationships to survive. Some have told me they don't feel real unless they have constant contact with others. That constant interaction becomes like a substitute for self-worth, through being recognized and having their existence validated through interaction.

To be alone, you don't necessarily need to have a long-term goal or important project. You simply need to be able to abide you own self and to be able to be your own best friend.

Part of my problem with the theory is that happiness doesn't have a single definition, that exists separately from a moment in time and the circumstances. It doesn't exist as a thing that can be put on the shelf and pulled down to enjoy at any time. The more one chases it, the less happiness one tends to experience.

I don't think any of this has a thing to do with whether someone is "smart" -- because there are so many different kinds of intelligence. There are people who are intellectually very sharp, who still have common sense... and a high degree of emotional intelligence. Some of them are in their glory on the cocktail party circuit... and others are hermits. I don't think there is much correlation between the two things, much less "causation".

JMHO.