Hops:
It's funny you bring that up. A friend, who's asked to work out with me many times, asked again yesterday. I'll stop finding reasons to say NO, and just do it. With him, with my children, without them... I just need to do it.
Tupp:
My inner child is upset about a lot of things.
She's stunned to find so man years slipped by. She's not sure how to BE the age she is.
She's spitting mad at the legal system..... the little people in positions of power in government jobs at every level who casually harm individuals they should serve and/or protect. There's no accountability. No consequences for being incompetent, or ignorant, or for purposely harming people bc of both. You've been there, and then they're mixed in with the Cluster Bs.... everywhere. Perfect little helpers.... also helping them blend and pass.
She's angry that children are so vulnerable. She angry so many harmful people have children.....that they're born into regions with war, famine, and droughts.
She's angry she's not as strong, flexible, confident. She doesn't know how to be anything else.
She's angry her father wasn't there when she needed him. She's angry he wouldn't listen to her about having a dangerous surgery that left him stroked. The last 11 years taught her who she can depend on, but it also made clear how little voice she's had in her FOO. That's more heartbreaking for her than anything else.
She's puzzled and frustrated with the energy between her oldest dd and herself. It physically hurts at times.
She's angry that the love of her life died of cancer, and left her alone. She misses being that cherished, and loved. She hasn't been able to let anyone else near.
She's mad that she couldn't mother the girls to the best of her ability.... the way she did before her world flew apart. She's sure nothing can ever be OK after that.
She's just very very petulant, and stubborn, Tupp.
Lighter
