Quick job update:
Got a new, regular client (90) who's a challenge but also an amazing learning opportunity. She reminds me a lot of Nmother, but is more of a "steel magNolia." Smart, very charming, and very manipulative. She drives her two sons crazy and can be frustrating to deal with. Nearly every time, I must set boundaries with her. Doesn't sound like "fun" but in a way it is, because I'm getting to experience a healthy response to manipulation. And also experience assertiveness. I can enjoy her liveliness and warmth but say "No" when I need to. (She wants me to be "on call" and rush to soothe her, and I've explained that if she needs more time, she does have to reserve me ahead.) Everything that pops into her head she describes as "urgent" or "very important" so she keeps people around her in a state of agitation. Yet she has very serious health issues.
I could go on and on with stories about her but there's also a lot to enjoy if I keep it light but professional.
Compassion is still job one. She is in very poor health (failing heart, only one kidney--I've taken her to the ER twice) and quite afraid. Being kind but strong with her at the same time is a positive experience for me. And being paid for my time makes a lot of difference in how it feels.
Originial geNt is getting crankier, for health reasons I think. Also because he realizes I'm not quite as available for him as I once was. I think he's scared and lonely but is so rigid and controlling that he won't let anyone truly "in". Like magNolia, he's putting a ton of energy into image management, and is in denial about where he is in life.
I get a lot of lessons from this work. From these two, the biggest I think is to understand that when my decline-time comes, I want to accept help with grace instead of resentment.
My third lady is a joy to be around---kind, maternal and appreciative. Only sad thing is to watch her deal with so much pain and disability because of obesity. Makes me sad to take her grocery shopping and see what she chooses. But she's not stupid, she is addicted. And it's not my place to tell her what to do. Poor thing takes so much medicine it takes us an hour to fill up her pill containers...and one day, she won't be able to walk. Still, she likes to laugh and is just a dear.
I finally have enough hours to feel that if I can keep my employment at approximately this level, I'll be okay. It's good that it keeps me active (very good) but it's also surprisingly draining. You have to be constantly "on" and attentive, unlike at an office where you can take mental breaks. On balance I'm grateful for it...but not making progress right now with my writing. Tend to come home and conk out on the couch.
Personal discipline is still a handicap and that's my biggest challenge. But I think it's going to continue to get better with practice. I've been at it about six months now, only recently up to about 20 hours or so. It's the right balance if I commit to better scheduling and...alas...less time online!
Btw, if you need work, this field that is mushrooming. I offer "companion" care, not "health aide" or significant medical, hygiene or heavy-lifting. My folks are all mobile (with walkers sometimes) and clean and dress themselves. I did some homework and found out what common agencies charge in my area (if you work for an agency you might make $11 hour while the agency pockets $25, but on your own, you can charge $20--more in some places). It's a decent rate for work that suits me well. If you like old folks, make yourself a flyer and get the word out! I worried for months but word of mouth has really worked. Took about six months to get three regulars--but they're all at the same assisted living complex, so I schedule time with them back to back. And some of them are friends, and others I meet coming and going have asked for my flyer, so I think it'll continue to grow in a sort of ebb and flow. Of course, built into the job is that I'll be losing customers one day when they pass away or must move to nursing care, and gradually gaining others. I accept it, and am grateful for what I am learning from folks in this chapter of life.
Hugs,
Hops