Thanks, Tupp. I think this dear lady has had this addiction for so long I couldn't make a dent. On our last trip to the doctor she was just diagnosed with diabetes, and I know she's unhappy about that. But I honestly don't think she can give up the sugar, empty white carbs, ice cream, full-sugar soda, candies, meaningless breads and all the rest of the sad, nutritionally empty stuff she buys. It's clearly comfort eating and who am I to say that when you're on your last legs and living in a (admittedly very pleasant) "facility" that I wouldn't do the same? Pass the bourbon! I might offer--would you like me to bring you a crazy meal sometime that will make you feel GOOD?--but she's deeply attached to her old-fashioned cheesy dishes and desserts and for her, clearly, sugar is love.
She very sweetly asked me the other day if I was on a special diet (I knew what was coming as she offers me desserts every time). I said yes, I'm trying really hard to avoid sugar and eating between meals. It was visibly PAINFUL for her that I really didn't want to accept her "treat" (gooey food/sugar = love) but I was touched that she asked. She said, "Then I wouldn't be your friend if I offered you this." She really is a gem. Kind, lovely human being.
GeNt saw me coming in with her after our grocery trip one day (me shoving a cart covered with bags of cookies, etc) and he kind of sneered, sotto voce: "That's a lot of stuff." I know him and know exactly what contemptuous thoughts he was thinking. Yet in my eyes, she's worth 10 of him because of what her heart is like.
Ahhh, life. I like my old folks, Ns and all. Given my lack of family, caring about these folks gives me a reason to feel that my existence matters. I know it really does to them. They're in a gray area between "independent + meals" living (they get basic housekeeping, breakfast + dinner in a dining room--but no meals on weekends) and needing nursing care. I can tell how so many of them are skating very close to that precipice. I met a charming 99 year-old man the other day...it's a desperate situation for some of them because they know that unless they can afford in-home (in-apartment) private nursing help, at some point they'll be uprooted AGAIN to be moved to a nursing home. I can't imagine the dread.
One bleak-minded friend and I fairly regularly have a conversation (not even actually a depressing one) about getting The Peaceful Pill Handbook and while we're still able, planning a trip to Mexico to prepare our "escape pharmacy." Sickens me that old folks have to do that, in this society.
Once the current government is done with us (they want to slash Medicaid, the only medical care safety net for the poor and elderly), old people without funds will probably start taking naps on railroad tracks. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
love,
Hops
