These days, when I dream of romance, which is rare......
Maybe twice in 10 years and a few years ago, it's that kind of sweet romance. I'm teenaged, the young stranger is teenaged. It's a sweet peck on the cheek, shy affection.
I'm not attracted to what , in my family is termed, " skinny little boys". I think it's longing for simple, unencumbered weightless being without games, or guile. Without danger or risk of any kind. Just before, kwim? When anything was possible,and I didn't know about PD's, or being trapped in relationship, miserably, left feeling afflicted,and harmed. Left cemented in protective mama bear mode where inviting more difficulty, even smallish difficulty was unthinkable.
I have felt attraction to ex military, competent, tool weilding men close to my age, though very rarely. That means I could invite someone appropriate in, I suppose, though the idea of marriage makes me want to raise my fists, and put up my guard. My entire body is left guard forward says my chiropractor friend. I drive that way. Walk that way. It's set in my skeleton. I don't know how that lives in my brain, but it makes me......
Want to leave it far far behind.
:: nodding::.