Hellidays: for the inner Grinch

[Hopalong]

No need for anybody to post here at all...though I might!
But here's a "safe space" [snort] for holiday-snowflakes like myself to comment/vent/hiccup if ever needed.

Love and hopefully some laughs too--
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I love my inner Grinch, Hops, and my loathing of Christmas excess has become legendary   Lol.  I'm going to invite a friend who's had a pretty bad year to stay if he wants to - he has a young son so he might be seeing him over Christmas but if he isn't he's welcome to stay with us for a few days.  There are several homeless guys in town I've been getting to know so I've started putting together Christmas boxes for them.  One of my neighbours is an elderly disabled chap - I think his neighbours the other side look after him pretty well but I'll check and if he's on his own on the day I'll pop round.  But yeah, the endless presents, all the wrapping and packaging that goes in the bin, the forced merriment and the horrible sense of loss and loneliness that a lot of people endure at that time of year - I'd be happy to see it all become about helping other people out and rewarding yourself with a bit of chocolate at the end of the day Grinch away!! Lol xx

[Hopalong]

That's the loveliest way to deal with it, Tupp.
I really respect you for this.

Gifting to others who have it worse is THE answer.

Thanks for the inspiration!

xo
Hops

[Hopalong]

Occurs to me I could do something that is very simple, and embodies what I like about the holidays. A sense of play and sharing joyfulness that is what Christmas lights are about. And sharing that by displaying them.

Lights have no dogma, verse, family formality or ritual, expectations, or big meaning. They are just there. Colorful (or white). And they're giving because they give delight to people walking or driving past in the dark and cold.

I have a very big front window I've often thought would look delightful with a couple cheap strands of simple twinkly lights. Hmmm.

Just that. Nobody can interpret, amplify, assume, conclude anything from twinkly lights (maybe some with color). They just drive past and for a moment, smile.

Wait. Am I losing my Grinchitude? 

Hops

[Twoapenny]

I love Christmas lights, Hops, it's my favourite thing about Christmas.  I have visions one day of having some sort of frontage in a public area that I can dress with lights to suit all the seasons, events, special days and so on because I just think twinkly lights look so pretty   I love lights in trees over the winter as well, and the lights they put up in town   I'm not completely averse to the whole holiday period, I'm just very aware that for a lot of people (and I included myself in this for a long time) it's a miserable time because it highlights their loneliness, people they won't be spending it with (for whatever reason), it puts pressure on people to buy things they can't afford or just to spend money unnecessarily.  Add to that the excess drinking, eating, enforced time off, having to go into work when everyone else is off (whichever way it goes it's annoying) and just that pressure that you ought to be having a wonderful time and bleurgh, I'm glad when the whole thing is over.

For son, the whole thing is a complete sensory overload from September onwards because it's just everywhere.  The shops are full of Christmas things from early September, there are adverts up advertising Christmas meals and Christmas events from August - everyone wants to make money out of it and it's just too much for him.  So Christmas for us had to be quiet because he couldn't cope and that's when 'the spirit of Christmas' comes out for me.  If you can't get out or are spending the day alone, for whatever reason, you soon find out which people are thinking of you and pick the phone up and which are busy enjoying themselves and don't give you a second thought.  The enforced solitude doesn't bother me anymore; other than son's presents I treat it like any other day.  I'm not doing a traditional meal this year because that just feels like a faff; I don't particularly enjoy big roast dinners because they leave me bloated so it's another thing I did because it's tradition.  I'm going to buy myself lots of nice finger buffet type food this year so son and I can graze throughout the day.  I'd just love to see the whole festive period being more about people than stuff x

[sKePTiKal]

Lights are fun, yes!

I let myself run more toward fragrant seasonal greenery. A simple red ribbon - and DONE! LOL. OK, maybe some pine cones. Well, and then there are bells. I have a set of old sleigh bells that I let bang & jingle on the front door during the season. And fragrant candles.

Thing is, we can find our OWN way of having fun and enjoying ourselves. Letting the spirit of the season touch us - without it opening a window to the past sorrows and difficulties. Doing something kind for someone else who may not see much kindness, is very very helpful.

Winter is always dark and cold; dreary and seems to go on forever and sometimes a lot of extra work too. So, the pagan "holiday" was about reminding us the light is still there; it will come again... and sharing kindness to each other in the meantime.

(Maybe that's why it was said: Christmas is an all-year thing?)

[lighter]

I love the lights and smell of pine too.  I leave my wreaths up all year, bc they smell so nice ....I can't bring myself to toss them when I try.  I end up with my nose in them
every
time.

  I know it's odd, but that wonderful smell.  It's worth looking odd, and if anyone in the family cares enough, they can toss them out.  I put them up.  They can take them down.  Or not.

I have some shame for leaving up colored gingerbread lights on the front if the house, and outbuilding entirety, but they were so perfect.  I checked, and about half are out..... I should have taken them down.  Now I have to buy new if I want them again, and do the work I was trying to avoid.  The neighbors get unhappy when I'm on the roof...at least the two retired nurses bordering me on 2 sides.

It's raining today, so can't blow gutters, and take down lights as planned.  If I bought enough lights last year, on sale, I'll for sure put them back up.  At least on the outbuilding.
Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Gingerbread men lights sound cute, Lighter!  Someone on our bus route has started putting all their lights up; they've not switched them on yet but it's obviously a labour of love, they've got hundreds!  The kids will love it

I don't know quite what's going on but ...............................once or twice in the last couple of weeks I've felt a bit festive?!  This doesn't usually happen to me, I'm normally quite grumpy about it all by now.  But I've actually caught myself quite looking forward to it at moments?  Very odd, lol x

[sKePTiKal]

I'm imagining simply picking one or three - no more than that - simple joys of the season to focus on. No matter what you encounter during that season - your enjoyment of those simple things are reserved to you; no one can ruin a smell, beautiful music or happy lights for you.

And no matter what else occurs during the season - You can enjoy these things! I've already got a bayberry candle out. I'll probably cut fresh cedar to make some simple swags, with a red bow and maybe some jingle bells wired on.

Holly and I are still brainstorming ideas about "different" for this year. I'm not going to be able to get a passport in time (mine's expired). So that nixes Norway or Iceland... and she's not looking forward to more cold after working in it the past week. Neither one of us skis, but we look pretty good in the clothes - LOL. But there are some lovely spa retreats around here, with excellent cuisine.

The search for a wacky idea is ongoing. She didn't like my squirrel pie idea... LOL.

[Hopalong]

My inner Grinch is subdued, drinking white wine, hanging out with pooch, watching dramatic movies. Tomorrow will be a simple hanging out with my solo friend who lives out beyond the beyond, pooches napping at our feet, cool flicks on the screen, lentil stew brewing.

I'll breathe another sigh of gratitude that another season of the rigorous expectations and exhaustion for those who plunge in has passed. Didn't even put up the front wreath this time, no regrets. It's much worse in the anticipation, and once The Day comes and has gone, peace returns.

I like the new-year feeling and look forward to that. All will be what it is and I feel accepting.

Happy whatever's happy to all of you, dear VESMB friends.

love,
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

Make merry... hug lots of people. Holly & I are sharing a tummy bug and watching "The Newsroom" which is actually an endearing series, funny as all get out, and one remembers all the different places one has been over the years...

which is kinda part & parcel of this time of year.

HUGS FOR EVERYONE (minus the tummy bug)!!!!!

[Hopalong]

Oh no!
The bah humbug bit you both!

But I'm glad you're cozy with goofy TV.
Just right.

Enjoy and get better quick!

love
Hops

[Hopalong]

I'm missing everybody.
Tupp's on break and all of us (we few two?) are doing our holiday thing. Doc, time to open to new members again maybe? If you're up for it? Which I wouldn't blame you for if you're NOT?

Meee....okay but lonesome.

Bright spots: peaceful Xmas afternoon at friend's country home.
Hilarious stunning huge lap-collie who for some reason is nuts about me and every time I neglected to continue doting on her, would put her head on the opposite arm of the sofa and ... mutter. I swear she was muttering. Kind of a "well phooey on you too and who needs you but woowowgrumbleowoow...why aren't you still patting me" kind of extremely audible and expressive complaint. Made friend and me crack up out loud, laughing silly, more than once.

For me, worth it all!

And yesterday a joyous day hanging out with my poet pal and her kin-and-friends, including beyond-adorable grand-daughter, about 3, who's half Iranian, and so smart she has an IQ aura, I swear. I brought her a book called Dragons Really Love Tacos and accidentally we all (extended family I'm a welcome stray among) wound up in a trendy tacqueria, and the doggone kid actually put it together! The surprise of a book about dragons and tacos and here WE are, eating tacos!

So all is well. Getting through hellidays feels like a forced-march through cultural quicksand sometimes, and then there are those bright days, when it's just happy/lucky to be with people you love and are loved by.

In that, in those moments, my gratitude level busts the mercury.

Got a note from a long-lost cousin that one of my aunts (almost no contact) was caught in the Paradise, CA fire and barely got away, including 2nd degree burns. Woman's in her 90s. I was very glad to get her address (at her daughter's, elsewhere in CA) so I could write her, did that this morning.

Life is weird. End of year is mostly, for me, after the big event, a hopeful time.

Hope y'all are feeling good things too...and I love you.

xxoo
Hops

[sKePTiKal]

I didn't post, 'coz I figured everyone was off doing Christmas stuff. Hol & I sat in a our jammies all day and Christmas Eve, she opened her presents - stinky spa stuff, and new mac for all her fabulous photos. It was VERY nice and we even had a fairly harmless facetime call with her sister & the boys.

What happens from now, for the next couple of weeks is going to look more like holidays. Several of her friends (whom I enjoy) are coming visit & stay.

They're a pretty close group of friends; Christmas Day she got word one of them committed suicide and it was one of her buddies who found him. Same DAY, she got a call from another friend who's lived the ordeal of being with an N wife, kids too... and finding himself the target for all sorts of personal, ego-destroying maliciousness. His plea was: he had to get out of the city. So, Hol picked him up at the train station... and between the two of us, we're doing what we can to let him tell his story... and start to think about; feel something hopeful... about moving on. We have been laughing about the absurdity involved in such an experience - a LOT. Not sure how long he'll be staying, but he needs space (like I've got) and time to just BE. And realize he's OK; it was a horrible time... but it's OK, that it's not OK.

The other friends coming out are very close long-time friends who'll assist in the nurturing and make lots of merry, too. And she is still seeing her lovely, practical, archetypal young man from online dating. We all got to meet his lab, Kabeeb a couple days ago. Took a little bit for Knuckles & Beeb to become buddies... but Beeb & I bonded almost immediately.

I'm tripping the light fantastic, dancing among all the new boundaries around my place... so far, no disasters. Imagine that! I've not mentioned this place to the shell-shocked friend; yet. But he's a lovely, sensitive, and totally traumatized (yet still able to laugh) guy. I think we can help.

But all this buzz around here, means I have to be more sensitive to my needs more than usual...not get too exhausted... and no, I'm not getting my sit, be quiet, & think time right now. We'll start tai chi, me & Hol, next week... and SOMEtime... we're taking a trip for fun, together (which is my Christmas present from her; my little Viking explorer).

This is not at all, what I was expecting to do over the holidays. But, just rolling with it... surfing the waves... and trying to spread some simple kindnesses around.

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi Hops,

"Doc, time to open to new members again maybe? If you're up for it? Which I wouldn't blame you for if you're NOT?"

I'll give it some thought and let you know soon.

Happy New Year to you and all long time posters and readers!

Richard