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Winter Stuff

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Hopalong:
Thank you, Lighter. I appreciate this a lot.

Do you think he might also be intentionally avoiding "marriage" because it's under a year since he lost his wife?

Well, I think guessing is no good. I will need to be calm and comfortable and ask. But ask soon, else it becomes a thing avoided until it's too late for disappointment.

Hope not, but we'll see! Off to see him in an hour, if I don't have too much wine I'll report back tonight. Otherwise tomorrow.

xxoo really appreciate this close listening,
Hops

lighter:
You're right, Hops.... guessing is a waste of time.

The Professor is who he is.  He's capable and willing to engage in monogamous connection, or he's not.

He's willing to be honest about it, or he's not.

Listen to what he does, and have fun.

There's no mistakes in this.  Only lessons, and information: )

Neutral observer mode. 

Lighter

Hopalong:
Had a wonderful time at dinner.
Same pattern: He talked 3/4 of the time and struggled to listen. BUT. He's a great raconteur and once I gave myself over to enjoying him, I really did enjoy his stories.

I didn't ask The Question. But he repeated his focus on moving, and I doubt it'll change.

After I was briefly talking about my pooch he said, I want to get a dog after I retire. Sounded like a separate life.

So I really just enjoyed, ate well, drank good wine, laughed and listened. I did get a few stories in, and for some reason the vibes between us are happy. He asked if I'd come to a dinner party he's planning to host in March. I get the feeling he's delighted to have a female companion do that with him. So who knows, maybe in his own mind he IS rehearsing me as a SO.

I have no idea. I guess it'll take more time to find out his sense of what this relationship is about. And at some point, I'll just figure out the right time to tell him what I'm looking for. Meanwhile, it's fun. But it'd probably be a good idea to stay right smack in the present.

I just couldn't figure out how to interrupt the flow to indicate to him that I'm not only looking for a dinner companion.

Hugs
Hops

lighter:
Well, maybe this will be a happy dinner party connection for you, Hops.

After that, who knows?

 Romance, or friendship, or someone to visit in California for a week, bc you get along THAT well?

The only thing you know for sure is that he's a good story teller, and might throw a great gathering (where you meet other interesting people you connect with.) 

His purpose could be amuse bouche, or something more. 

At least he's fun.

The journey continues.

Lighter

Hopalong:
Thank you, Lighter. A lot.

You are inserting a lot of sanity and self-control where I lack it.

I truly appreciate your feet-on-the-ground, mindful of gravity, don't-operate-from-fear approach.

Much thanks!
Hops

PS--Next date Saturday. I may throw him a curve ball. (Meaning, bring up the personal curiosity, about his goals for himself in relationship. No lathered up anxiety, but bring it up sooner than later. I don't want to be entertainment only. I have a sense it could be more, but stakes are pretty big.)

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