Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Hopalong:
Tupp, I loved every single word of this, so much I had to read it twice.
--- Quote ---I sit on the beach and it's so lovely; the sand's warm, the coastline is stunning; truly beautiful cliffs and coastal paths and some beautiful houses nestled up on the cliff tops. The waves crash or lap depending on the weather and we tend to go later in the day so it's usually surfers and dog walkers by then. Really cute dog just came running over and plonked himself down on the blanket between myself and son; it's hilarious the way dogs just decide they want attention and insist you give it to them. His owner was lovely as well so that chat was nice.
--- End quote ---
I hope something like this, simple or stunning, happens to you every single day. Or at least so often that beauty and nature feel as close as a true friend.
Enjoy your summer break...you are READY!
Hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 30, 2019, 02:27:07 PM ---Tupp, I loved every single word of this, so much I had to read it twice.
--- Quote ---I sit on the beach and it's so lovely; the sand's warm, the coastline is stunning; truly beautiful cliffs and coastal paths and some beautiful houses nestled up on the cliff tops. The waves crash or lap depending on the weather and we tend to go later in the day so it's usually surfers and dog walkers by then. Really cute dog just came running over and plonked himself down on the blanket between myself and son; it's hilarious the way dogs just decide they want attention and insist you give it to them. His owner was lovely as well so that chat was nice.
--- End quote ---
I hope something like this, simple or stunning, happens to you every single day. Or at least so often that beauty and nature feel as close as a true friend.
Enjoy your summer break...you are READY!
Hugs
Hops
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Hops - I feel better already! It's just not having the pressure of the week to deal with. I've been able to rest, nap, eat, go to the beach, chat to son, catch up on here, watch TV, all without any pressure of what needs to be done next week. Tomorrow might be quite busy but that doesn't matter because the rest of the week is quiet so it will balance out. I think the summer is going to be fab :) xx
sKePTiKal:
Hey... an idea, FWIW. Sometimes it works for me.
When I'm feeling pressured like that and I don't have the option to just take a day off... I remember that ALL the things I have to deal with are:
a) things I want
b) what I want matters
c) even if I have to do it all myself - I'm getting both A & B
Now, if I can just find a way to deal with the chaos that seems to follow other people who are swirling around in my life/space right now... and not feel like I'm being steamrolled flat.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on July 01, 2019, 10:23:56 AM ---Hey... an idea, FWIW. Sometimes it works for me.
When I'm feeling pressured like that and I don't have the option to just take a day off... I remember that ALL the things I have to deal with are:
a) things I want
b) what I want matters
c) even if I have to do it all myself - I'm getting both A & B
Now, if I can just find a way to deal with the chaos that seems to follow other people who are swirling around in my life/space right now... and not feel like I'm being steamrolled flat.
--- End quote ---
That's interesting, Skep, because I think my situation is the opposite and I think that's what causes the biggest problem for me. I very rarely do anything that I want - I'm usually doing and dealing with stuff I don't want to do, so I get angry and resentful on top of being tired, stressed, bored and everything else. Even doing the stress relieving stuff makes me feel angry, because it just takes me to a slightly better place than I was before. So if I start off at minus ten (zero being a sort of midline place that's neither good nor bad, just ordinary) then spending an hour at the beach takes me to minus eight. And then going to collect son from college takes me back to minus ten, so it feels like it just keeps me slightly better than completely dead. Lol. What I'm finding so different this week (without college to worry about and without the pressure of having to be here and there at different times) is that, having had my 'breakdown' last week (I'm not really sure what to call it but me general feeling is 'I don't give a shit anymore' :) Lol), I've only been doing stuff I like and stuff I want to do and the difference in the way I feel is huge, plus all my health related problems have subsided. So I'm really hoping if I get ten weeks now of being able to fill up my tanks without anything being taken away again then I might be able to cope better once college starts again in September? I'm trying to just focus on day to day and trying to stay 'in the moment' but after forty plus years of hypervigilence it is a skill I'm finding difficult to master! But we can only keep trying, right?
As for other people's chaos - the only way I can cope is to keep away from people lol. I've not mastered my own chaos yet so dealing with anyone else's is just too much for me. It is tiring, it's hard not to get bogged down in it so I hope you're able to find a way to float past it :) One of my friend's refers to it as OPD - Other People's Drama, which I think is very apt :) xx
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: CB123 on July 01, 2019, 11:18:23 AM ---Hi to you, Tupp!
I was just thinking about you this morning and then I was reading your post to catch up. I was thinking how many years you have been a caregiver for your son and how exhausted you must be.
I have kids with serious mental health issues that are now (after many years) getting onto their feet with the right meds and care. I remember well the years of getting up every morning to another day of everyone depending on me, and never ending crises. Its exhausting. And no matter how much sympathy you get, the day to day of it remains with you. I can feel your bone-tired weariness.
I love it that you are going to put everything to the side and just concentrate on basics. When I hit the wall, I walked and walked and walked and I do think that made a difference--not in my circumstances, but just the chemicals in my body. Once I even had a horrible argument with my ex while I was walking on a treadmill and I was astounded at how different I felt (yeah, I know: who has arguments on a treadmill?)
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and I sure get it how hard it is right now. You are a pretty awesome mom and it's not easy at all, but your immediate plan seems just what you need.
CB
--- End quote ---
Thanks, CB, it's good to have you back here :) I'm glad your kids finally got to a place where things are okay. It is exhausting; I don't think you ever stop worrying (although I think that's just a parenting thing in general). What I find really difficult is other people getting involved. It's very difficult to find people who will just do what I say and I don't mean that in a diva type way, just that my son has multiple problems, none of which are terribly obvious and most of which I try to help him with by preventing him from getting too tired or too stressed (because that then exacerbates all of his problems and then you get into this whirlwind of trying to deal with it all and it's awful for both of us). But there's such an attitude towards parents here that we're all neurotic overbearing weirdos that the 'professionals' often won't listen. So letting anyone else in means we're always potentially heading for disaster and that means I need to have the energy to cope with the possible fall out - which I don't have, and so we get caught in the cycle. But I am feeling better this week for just putting the breaks on and doing what I want and sitting down on my bum when I feel like it. It does make a really big difference. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words and it's good to have you back.
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