Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Reciprocal Relationships with Others and Ourselves
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on June 20, 2019, 08:23:07 AM ---About the only way that works for me to deal with adrenalin dump, is to quickly breathe my way to calm, or go do some physical but mindless labor task. Could just be doing dishes, ya know?
I think the worst habit that carries through from the past trauma is the over-active brain energy. Somehow we feel responsible for thinking through to a brilliant solution or outsmarting the difficulties. And flat out obsessed with beating the old head on the same brick wall till we bust it down. Doesn't work that way. Only makes things worse.
But it is possible to learn to "stop thinking" long enough for other brain skills to jump in and take the lead. Could be a meditative thing; could be body-mind work that gets you "in the zone"; some people run to make that shift. Not sure exactly how I figured it out, but I learned to tell myself to stop the hamster-wheel in my head and go to sleep, because the problem would assuredly be there tomorrow. And sleep was the thing I needed the MOST to get back at the next time.
--- End quote ---
I think that's the key, Skep, it's finding the thing that makes it stop before it really takes hold, I just haven't found it yet! The beach calms me enormously but only while I'm there; I got back in the car this morning after sitting there for an hour and within ten minutes could feel it all rising again. Within an hour of leaving I felt as bad as I had when I got there.
What I did do this afternoon, though, was a sort of life audit. I gathered together all my lists and notes and reminders of what to do and have divided everything up into stressful but necessary and deadline related, potentially stressful but can take longer to do (and it's stuff that hopefully will mean less hassle in the future so worth putting the time in in the hope that this time next year it won't be causing stress), time consuming and large projects that aren't stressful but will be quite a lot of work, ideas for money making from home or involving son so that I can try to find a way to make a living that isn't reliant on other people looking after him and then just the various things to do with the house, improving my social life, health and so on. With it all written up in different areas like that I can see that if I put in a couple of hours a day just on the normal day to day necessary stuff and then focus my time on getting rid of the stressful and unpleasant paperwork as quickly as possible over the next few weeks, then I'll probably feel better just because my stress levels will drop overall. Then I can start making dents into the other big projects and hopefully that will feel easier because the nasty stuff is out of the way, and maybe by the end of the summer I'll have my workload down to something that is manageable and won't generally be stressful day to day, as it is now.
I also don't really have any other meetings or assessments to do now; the next health related assessments will all be private ones and they're always easy because they just get on with it and write the report up properly so it isn't usually stressful. Other than that it is mostly just reviews and much of that can be done on paper with minimal contact face to face so hopefully my overall stress levels will go down and the number of stressful situations I have to deal with will reduce as well so that might be enough to make it easier to manage when it does happen. Phew! I will be very glad when all of this is behind us. It really has been a horrible year so far xx
lighter:
Sorry the struggle with social services continues, Tupp. It's real, and present. There's a certain amount of stress we can't avoid, but I'm learning how to DO things to take the feeling of crisis and imminent doom away.
I'll post a bit here by I can't finish a new thread post.
First I downloaded an app called kardia anti stress breath pacer. It's free. It's a blue ball that gets bigger and smaller. As written, I breath in as it gets bigger and out as it shrinks, concentrating on 5he outer edge works best for me. I also fill my mind with intention before beginning.
If I m really stressed I push on a wall or doorjamb with all my might while breathing the same way. I can picture the ball or think the words here and now at each breath.....in is here....now is out.
I try to do these regularly to train my system back to normal.
Another technique is to walk backwards around a chair or basket....whatever you have handy. Breathing is important, bc it signals there's no crisis to our brain.
I'm thinking of you, but unable to post much. There was a fire at the power station on the island, and it's creating problems I don't want to list. Can you say hotter than three hells?
I'm grateful the power's staying on today as it's been out 6 and 9 hours the past two days.
I'm really using my new stress tools!
Lighter
Hopalong:
((((((((Tupp))))))))))
--- Quote ---a great place locally that does tech based courses for kids who aren't in school
--- End quote ---
High hopes for this! (Vicariously for you, but I know you know better than to get hopes way up. Sure would be nice if he fell in love with woodworking or some kind of minor assembly work that could actually pay him one day.)
When you said PTSD it just hit me that this makes SO much sense. Was similar to my reaction when my new T said to me I wasn't just dealing with grief, but trauma.
The other association that popped up was the other night on 60 Minutes I was fascinated by a new treatment available (off label) from a few physicians. It's literally a local anesthetic injected into a nerve bundle in the neck that controls a lot of stress. It brought me to tears to see near-suicidal vets get on the table and 15 minutes later get up with smiles on their faces their families hadn't seen since before they deployed. And amazingly, even though the local wears right off, evidently the effects last unchanged for a long time.
Lay description:
'One treatment option increasingly recommended by physicians is known as stellate ganglion block (SGB). SGB is a local anesthetic injected into the stellate ganglion, a group of nerve cells and nerves in the neck that helps regulate the body's “fight or flight” mechanism.'
Study (military focused but some US physicians already realize that there are all kinds of trauma that produce PTSD, not just battle):
https://www.rti.org/impact/study-stellate-ganglion-block-treatment-ptsd-symptoms
Testimonials (soldiers, but you are one Tupp):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5uSLru6HQI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftx44fCRXH0
NHS availability:
https://www.pat.nhs.uk/downloads/patient-information-leaflets/pain/460%20Stellate%20Ganglion%20Block.pdf
https://www.google.com/search?q=stellate+ganglion+block+(SGB)+NHS+U.K.&rlz=1C1AVFC_enUS735US735&oq=stellate+ganglion+block+(SGB)+NHS+U.K.&aqs=chrome..69i57.5766j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
[This one DOES list PTSD!]
https://www.painspa.co.uk/procedures/stellate-ganglion-block/
It could be fantastic if you could find a U.K. physician who'd let you try it. Because the more I think about what you've been writing during the interactions with social services (much less being an abuse survivor from both stepfather's rape and mother's direct threats to you and your child) -- the more I think PTSD makes sense.
Just a thought and likely a zillion obstacles. But just in case...
love and comfort and healing rest...
Hops
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on June 21, 2019, 12:18:09 PM ---Sorry the struggle with social services continues, Tupp. It's real, and present. There's a certain amount of stress we can't avoid, but I'm learning how to DO things to take the feeling of crisis and imminent doom away.
I'll post a bit here by I can't finish a new thread post.
First I downloaded an app called kardia anti stress breath pacer. It's free. It's a blue ball that gets bigger and smaller. As written, I breath in as it gets bigger and out as it shrinks, concentrating on 5he outer edge works best for me. I also fill my mind with intention before beginning.
If I m really stressed I push on a wall or doorjamb with all my might while breathing the same way. I can picture the ball or think the words here and now at each breath.....in is here....now is out.
I try to do these regularly to train my system back to normal.
Another technique is to walk backwards around a chair or basket....whatever you have handy. Breathing is important, bc it signals there's no crisis to our brain.
I'm thinking of you, but unable to post much. There was a fire at the power station on the island, and it's creating problems I don't want to list. Can you say hotter than three hells?
I'm grateful the power's staying on today as it's been out 6 and 9 hours the past two days.
I'm really using my new stress tools!
Lighter
--- End quote ---
I hope the power gets sorted, Lighter, it seems there is always another problem going on at the island to throw spanners in the works each time! I think hotter than three hells sounds perfectly acceptable. Lol. I hope it gets sorted out soon.
I think one problem is that I feel enormously resentful of the time I have to spend managing stress caused by other people. That's the bit where I get really stuck. I was talking about this with the acupuncture guy (this is one of the reasons I've been so starry eyed about him). He commented that everyone is truly doing their best - but some people's best is that basically they got dressed and turned up for work and that's about as good as it gets. I think that's my issue with it. Other people's best is so poor it causes me problems. I'm in a hugely stressful situation again now simply because this social worker didn't have an open and candid conversation with me six months ago about what happens next. If she had, I'd have had six months to get everything sorted out and in place. Because she didn't, there's really no point in my sorting it out now, because in just over six months he transfers to a different team because he turns 18 and I'll just have to do it all over again.
I think another problem for me is probably two fold - one is the view that seems to be held by many people we meet that 'normal' is what all disabled people should be aiming for. So other people's opinions of what is good for my son is for him to be able to do more stuff that 'normal' people do - like going out more. The problem for me is that going out more is tiring, because of his disability, and that then causes other problems day to day. In order to go out more, he really needs all the support he isn't currently getting, like the speech therapy and occupational therapy. They help with day to day tasks and challenges, which means he's less tired overall, which would then mean more energy for socialising. So there's this constant and endless compartmentalising of his needs with no-one looking at the source and working from that point. Essentially everyone's just chucking stuff into the pot in the hope that something will work and it's hopelessly ineffective. I know what will work, everything's documented, we won at court - and it still isn't being done. So social worker thinks she's being helpful by organising care for him, but she doesn't understand the amount of work involved for me in passing his care on to someone else. There are dozens of things that have to be done a certain way to avoid stressing him out, umpteen little habits and routines that people need to know about to be able to look after him properly, and in particular they need to be able to manage the fatigue well, which for some reason seems to be impossible for many people we encounter, so the whole process needs to be done slowly and over a period of time. And there just isn't time to do it now, and probably won't be from this point until next year. I'm frustrated at not being heard - I explain until I'm blue in the face, I write it all down, I bullet point things, I give examples, I send in professional reports with relevant bits highlighted and do anything else I can think of - and it still falls on deaf ears. Aargh!!
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Hopalong on June 21, 2019, 04:24:03 PM ---((((((((Tupp))))))))))
--- Quote ---a great place locally that does tech based courses for kids who aren't in school
--- End quote ---
High hopes for this! (Vicariously for you, but I know you know better than to get hopes way up. Sure would be nice if he fell in love with woodworking or some kind of minor assembly work that could actually pay him one day.)
When you said PTSD it just hit me that this makes SO much sense. Was similar to my reaction when my new T said to me I wasn't just dealing with grief, but trauma.
The other association that popped up was the other night on 60 Minutes I was fascinated by a new treatment available (off label) from a few physicians. It's literally a local anesthetic injected into a nerve bundle in the neck that controls a lot of stress. It brought me to tears to see near-suicidal vets get on the table and 15 minutes later get up with smiles on their faces their families hadn't seen since before they deployed. And amazingly, even though the local wears right off, evidently the effects last unchanged for a long time.
Lay description:
'One treatment option increasingly recommended by physicians is known as stellate ganglion block (SGB). SGB is a local anesthetic injected into the stellate ganglion, a group of nerve cells and nerves in the neck that helps regulate the body's “fight or flight” mechanism.'
Study (military focused but some US physicians already realize that there are all kinds of trauma that produce PTSD, not just battle):
https://www.rti.org/impact/study-stellate-ganglion-block-treatment-ptsd-symptoms
Testimonials (soldiers, but you are one Tupp):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5uSLru6HQI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftx44fCRXH0
NHS availability:
https://www.pat.nhs.uk/downloads/patient-information-leaflets/pain/460%20Stellate%20Ganglion%20Block.pdf
https://www.google.com/search?q=stellate+ganglion+block+(SGB)+NHS+U.K.&rlz=1C1AVFC_enUS735US735&oq=stellate+ganglion+block+(SGB)+NHS+U.K.&aqs=chrome..69i57.5766j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
[This one DOES list PTSD!]
https://www.painspa.co.uk/procedures/stellate-ganglion-block/
It could be fantastic if you could find a U.K. physician who'd let you try it. Because the more I think about what you've been writing during the interactions with social services (much less being an abuse survivor from both stepfather's rape and mother's direct threats to you and your child) -- the more I think PTSD makes sense.
Just a thought and likely a zillion obstacles. But just in case...
love and comfort and healing rest...
Hops
--- End quote ---
Ah thanks Hops, I will bookmark and hang on to it all but unfortunately I know from previous experience that PTSD here comes under mental health so the treatment is CBT and anti-depressants, neither of which have helped me in the past.
It would be great to find something son could make some money from; for him I think it would likely be some sort of tech based or practical type activity that he can do in his own time, from home. Those are the sort of options I want to look into for him. Other parents have been very helpful with suggestions for places locally so I'm going to look into it all over the summer holidays and start putting together a plan. I like that kind of stuff! I enjoy the research and looking at ways things can be put together and he'll be able to give me his input as well which will really help :) xx
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