Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
sKePTiKal:
B and I agree, that scenes like that can be fun - BUT - it's no longer fun when people lose self-control and inhibitions about doing, saying anything. Like some kind of free pass to blather anything in their heads no matter who they upset or offend. Worse is the person who revisits the SAME MONOTONOUS TIRADE of blather EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. and it seems they intentionally seek that "point of no return" just to give the same speech again.
I feel sorry for people who want to publicly stew in their own self-percepted agony over & over again. And it's not fun.
Hopalong:
Ay, yi yi, Lighter.
One really does need to examine who we're willing to hang out with, its tacit acceptance.
No need for moralisms or looking down noses. But maybe ask, what is rubbing against this climate (or being rubbed against, ewwww) -- doing for my growth and serenity?
Ay yi yi.
I'm sure you'll process it all but wish you didn't find yourself in situations which demand it. You deserve to be around values and behaviors that uphold you.
hugs
Hops [edited two words that sounded too judgmental on re-reading]
lighter:
Youngest DD suggested I "show the drunk how strong my pimp hand is," which lightened the mood. She's very funny, and validating.
My sister just wants peace, at any cost. She saw drunk touch my chest....chooses to become confused about it, which is as upsetting as being touched.
At the end of that night, drunk took my sister into separate room, asked her about my situation with my husband. Drunk believed he was talking with me, not sister. She answered him, as though she was me, which felt like a double transgression. I wouldn't put up with the foolishness, not an inch, if not for my beloved cousin and her offspring.
It feels like being emotionally kicked in the shins, again and again, with the kickers monitoring my face for reactivity. Both, are disappointed. One, bc I react at all. One, bc I don't react enough.
I will tell you this, about cousin threatening to drop the drunk at home.....
if the DD wasn't there, the drunk would have been unhappily sat in the yard, and left behind. Not saying it wouldn't have been messy, or loud, or upsetting. It would have, but I already knew which pressure points I would use, and how his seatbelt would come off......it would have happened before he understood. It was all I could think about, on the ride. Calculations had been made.
Interesting how three different women think about the same situation. My sister didn't believe the drunk could be removed from the car. My cousin threatened, only, without effect.
I will say this...... cousin's children are grown, and pretty independent, in college, with SOs......emotionally more stable, now. bc my cousin creates stability in their lives, while their drunk father destabilizes at every turn.
It's difficult to say how destabilizing a showdown. and separation, would be, at this point. Very, I'm thinking, but then.....creation of serenity and safe space might outweigh the chaos, IME.
Hard to say, as always.
Lighter
lighter:
Therapist practicing 10 minutes of mindfulness every hour.
Sounded good, but I in realize.....it was beyond my power to practice 6weeks ago. It might be beyond my power today, but occurs to me. I can try.
Will get clean, and go outside. The black bobtailed squirrel looks like a hopping bunny, till climbing a tree....I want to see him hop again....and just now, we have a crisis within the extended family. Saw it coming. Surprised it's happening now, though.
I'm really curious if I can squeeze 10 minutes of mindfulness practice, out of each hour, now.
Lighter
lighter:
Therapist practicing 10 minutes of mindfulness every hour.
Sounded good, but I in realize.....it was beyond my power to practice 6weeks ago. It might be beyond my power today. At least it occurs to me. I can try.
Two mini splits were delivered today. Contractor refused delivery on one. Beadboard going in right now.
Will get clean, and go outside. The black bobtailed squirrel looks like a hopping bunny, till climbing a tree....I want to see him hop again....
and just now, we have a crisis within the extended family. Saw it coming. Surprised it's happening now, though.
I'm really curious if I can squeeze 10 minutes of mindfulness practice, out of each hour, now.
Lighter
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