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Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
I used to think of discomfort and pain as messengers... something's out of balance. Something needs to change. I need to make a move.
Now I think of it as feedback.... something more useful than a messenger even.
That's my thought for today.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on April 29, 2020, 11:01:44 PM ---I used to think of discomfort and pain as messengers... something's out of balance. Something needs to change. I need to make a move.
Now I think of it as feedback.... something more useful than a messenger even.
That's my thought for today.
--- End quote ---
It's a good thought to have, Lighter. I think sometimes it's a little marker, to draw attention. See me, see me! I was listening to something yesterday about period pain and past experiences. The lady was suggesting there's an energetic link between previous trauma and period pain and suggests that when the pain comes, think back to your early periods - were you supported or shamed? Was it joyful or something you were punished for. It was interesting and chimes with what you're saying, I think, some sort of message. I'm going to try it during my next cycle, it certainly can't hurt :) xx
lighter:
I'm interested in what comes up... as you pay attention.
About the feedback.... I realize it's usually about something I haven't accepted.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a wonky tire with a lump in it. I grasp the concept of radical acceptance, hang on pretty well, get flipped around by something reactive... which throws me for a loop, then come back around to acceptance.
Again.
It's getting easier, bc I understand it more deeply and experience such relief when I manage it.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on April 30, 2020, 12:56:19 PM ---I'm interested in what comes up... as you pay attention.
About the feedback.... I realize it's usually about something I haven't accepted.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a wonky tire with a lump in it. I grasp the concept of radical acceptance, hang on pretty well, get flipped around by something reactive... which throws me for a loop, then come back around to acceptance.
Again.
It's getting easier, bc I understand it more deeply and experience such relief when I manage it.
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Yes, I struggle with acceptance as well. I find it hard if I feel I've been wronged and the other person did nothing to right the wrong, if that makes sense. I'm not sure why I struggle with that so much. I would like it to be water off a duck's back but it often seems to really stick.
Hopalong:
Injustice sticks, for a long time, ime.
I think the hardest thing to learn for a child and also for adults for a very long time, even decades, is that coming to release the expectation that life will be fair, is ultimately more fair to yourself. That way you struggle and agonize less, or for not as long, over not getting pure justice. But releasing is the work, takes practice.
I don't mean yielding to resignation or fatalism or pessimism about humanity or abandoning hope of positive change. It's just releasing the perfectionism we (I) can bring to idealism, the absolute judgements we can concentrate our energy in, about what is good or evil or fair or right. As life chips away at our absolutism and ideals, I think we wind up something like the Velveteen Rabbit. He always seemed real to me.
We dream about life in black and white, but live it in the sloppy gray middle.
We shall now cease our utilization of the Royal We, which We have always found an irritant when employed by others. We acknowledge Our hypocrisy but We can't be bothered at the moment.
xxxoooo
Hops
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