My sister invited Ohio cousins for Christmas.
Sister always invites them.
They came once, but always say NO since.
THIS year one cousin said yes, but no one thought they'd really show.
4 hours into their road trip they texted.
My youngest had a near panic attack, bc she was already struggling with Christmas gathering with my brother, sister and their families, but she made peace with those risks....no one wearing masks, not everyone tested. Depending on the time of day I'm more or less concerned about the risks and real fear.
Long story short, DD needed Ohio cousins to go back home, and they did. Their dd's mental health is a concern.....my youngest really struggles with Covid concerns and isolation, online learning, etc. My cousin understood....I think her husband felt otherwise, which I get. Of course, I do. It was terrible.
My sister sent a text and I talked to cousin a minute later. Cousin's husband texted my brother and brother verbally came at me in an angry way. I asked him not to talk to me like that.
My brother walked out on Christmas the next morning, too upset to speak. When I was figuring out meal plans and shopping, brother texted very upset...he was unable to be near me, my youngest DD or my sister.
He texted I didn't know what I'd done, which was a reference to what he believes is my purposely raising dems.
What I actually did was raise daughters capable of critical thinking, but what's really hurtful is my brother's disgust and refusal to hear my dds fear and voice.
It's, for brother, all tied into China and the dems unleashing the virus to stop Trump being elected, AND the election was stole, AND the truth will come out.
It's politics for him, and he's taken my dd's fear and turned it into a political statement, which it is not for her.
Brother said my DD and I should have left, so cousin could come, but my sister is staying after Christmas with me.....she would have had to go, and her DD and husband would have left too.....so my cousin could come. Cousin had Covid, lots of people and friends have Covid now....it made no sense to me.
Still, my brother so upset.....
So upset....
His kids didn't get to see my niece, who drive in from Florida after taking a Covid test, or my oldest DD, who did nothing to him, or my BIL, who flew in from Canada....innicent btstanders in this.
So upset....seeing my face/youngestdd's face or my sister's, bc she texted didn't call my cousin, he boycotted Christmas and took his children with him. No homemade pies and games with cousins. No big traditional turkey feast and cookie decorating. All the " kids" are 18 or older, but still.....theres been so much trauma in all their lives....having a family Christmas in Granpa's clean lake house seemed so very important to me.
It feels like brother wanted to upset the innocents as much as punish and avoid the guilty parties.....feels like.
This was what my ASPD h would have labeled expanding his campaign of terrorism....involving the " innocents."
I'm not saying my brother did that on purpose. I'm saying it feels familiar and my cousin and her husband are now triplemortified our family is fighting. And we aren't really fighting. It's texts....and unsaid " what I've done" that I'm not aware of......politics.
I'm doubly sad bc brother worked very hard, along with me, to get our father's house clean and ready for this joyful gathering.
And there was not. I'm not even sure my BIL understands my brother is boycotting the family gathering....we cook, play games, chat, dance, watch old family movies and do our best to stay in the moment. But...there was supposed to be a big bonfire with my brother...fried turkey...more hunting for the boys....and my brother's presence, and that if his kids, is sometimes impossible to.....not notice.
And what does it mean? Is he going NC for good?
And...what would that mean?
Lighter
