Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Mindfulness and codependence thread

<< < (171/256) > >>

Hopalong:
GOT it. Makes perfect sense.

I think, in the "faith community" context, I figured out how to do it with the Nguy. Just tell him, without yielding, that I still would love as a fellow congregant, but from a distance and across differences. That covenantal bonds sometimes have to be more stretchy and spacious in ordere not to break.

If he ever gets it isn't my concern, it's his.

So we're in the same community and he, imo as a human being who is deluded and lacking insight into how he ticks, he still deserves compassion. Not iditotically, but from a distance and with very firm boundaries that will protect me from his unawareness.

If he were a younger or strong man, I'd even have fear. I did detect a confused mix of attraction and malice in some of the stuff he sent me. But as old and unwell as he is, and not my employer, not my....anything....he really has no power to harm me unless I let him.

I ain't.

Whew, soooo good to unpick all this.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
Hey, Hops:

I haven't been able to muster a response to your post. 

The idea of so many women sitting in varying degrees of discomfort or distress or fear with men who've displayed that familiar mixture of atraction and malice..... makes me feel a little bit sick.

I'll end it there for now, bc I haven't found the right words yet.

Lighter

lighter:
I had a really good discussion with my brother yesterday.  That's a really good jumping off point for pulliing in the same direction, together! 

On an even happier note, my harm seems to have healed up completely..... at least I didn't feel any hinks or tweeks while I put it through it's paces.... lifting, pushing and pulling all the tools out of the basementing, large heavy mirrors and art, big light fixtures and I'm just pleased as punch while remaing respectful of all my parts and keeping them healthy.

I opened up all the blinds and decided changing out the front door with a full lite door would help brighten up the space, which is large and has windows on 3 sides.  Also, there's a big window with stained glass that would benefit from removing the stained glass to clear..... lots of light would come in that way.

The front door already has side lites so ther'es that. 

More birds are nesting on the front porch. The 5 baby birds on the light fixture flew away long ago.  Maybe we'll have new babies soon.

Lighter

Hopalong:
That's a lot of good news, Lighter!
Better connection with your bro. Woo HOO.
Arm working well again (I'm speechless). :)
Beautiful lighting (natural) for the lake place.
Baby birds. The best.

Thanks for letting me tell the church guy saga here.
I finally caved and told (in confidence) the tale to the
pres., a woman I like and trust a lot. She was perfect.
Understood, expressed regret I'd gone though that kind
of harrassment (I hadn't recognized it as quite that) and
will going forward keep an eye out for his potential to
harm or confuse his group. That felt like a big "release
it in peace" kind of moment for me. Whew.

hugs
Hops

lighter:
Aw, Hops.  Telling isn't easy or comfortable... ever, IME, but it's DOING something.

Silence is the place where the harrassment... whatever you want to call it.... thrives, IME.

The pres might not do anything.  Heck, she might actually cover for and enable the guy, but you stood up and did the tough thing.

That's a good place to release it in peace..... I'm glad you can.

Lighter

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page