Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Tuppp's 'On The Move' Thread :)
lighter:
Yay hippies, Tupp!
And it's hoped this place sorted out the majority of logistics for atypical kids. Maybe it's not " the situation" you're looking for. Maybe it's information helping/ leading/pointing toward the one; )
Wouldn't it be nice to chat with a mom who's already researched this her way? As a jumping off point?
I love it when people share lessons....particularly when I'm in a space to receive and utilize that wisdom.
Lighter
Hopalong:
What was your take on the open house, Tupp?
If nothing more I hope it was an interesting outing and you got some questions answered.
I know you'll be thinking all possibilities through.
Hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
Thank you both :)
We didn't make it to the house in the end. I underestimated the amount of time it would take to get there so we arrived late. Then we couldn't find the house, then when we did find it there was no parking left. By the time we'd found somewhere to leave the car we were very late and as it's a timetabled day I thought us turning up halfway through the session might be disruptive to the rest of the group. I took it all as an omen that our first visit might not go well so we went into town instead and had a wander around.
The town itself is lovely - very old, very quaint and very hippy. Lots of really bright, colourful shops, an ethical supermarket, people sitting outside cafes, buskers, lots of posters about all sorts of weird and wonderful events. Definitely a place I'd like to explore more. We found a nice little cafe and had a hot chocolate and then headed home again. They run the event weekly so we'll leave earlier next week and try again.
What's been interesting to me is the change in my thinking. I think I've finally realised where I go wrong and stopped doing it. Usually I would think about what we need to do to fit in. Now I'm thinking of all the questions I want to ask and what I want to know so that I know whether they would suit us. I don't feel intimidated about asking practical questions about costs or the day to day running of the place. I feel like I can give them a list of things that son does that other people sometimes find difficult - the rocking, the vocal tics, the fact that he does like spending a lot of time in his room and doesn't make eye contact until he feels safe. I don't feel like I'm begging them to accept us - it feels more like it's just sensible to be open about these things so they can decide if they're alright with it - because if they're not it's better to know now. They've got vacancies at the minute and my old approach would have been to throw everything at the situation to make it work, so that we didn't lose the rooms. But now I feel like I'll take my time and if that means the rooms have gone by the time I've worked everything out then so be it. We'll look around for somewhere else and carry on with our other possible plans as well. I just don't feel as desperate to leap into something in the hope it will magically make life better. I'm thinking more about our next two year option - we'll do something for two years, see how it goes and then do something else (if we need to). It feels like a good process and I feel alright about it all. But whatever happens we will definitely be more regular visitors to that town; the shops alone are worth the drive over :) xx
Twoapenny:
I've changed my to do list around. I was working on 'Things I Need To Do Before We Move'. I've changed it to 'Things I Don't Want To Take With Us'. For some reason that feels better.
I've started pricing up bits for a car boot sale. I do clear out fairly regularly and I've been stacking stuff in odd places so I've started sorting through and pricing things up to sell. I've got my old Christening silver - I don't know if you have the same traditions there but here it's usual to buy silver Christening gifts for the baby. I've still got mine, as well as some bits of jewellery I don't wear any more, so I've dug them out to sell them. The Christening gifts are engraved with my name and date of birth and I was looking at them and thinking, "I feel like the soul of that little girl died of neglect'. And I still feel like it now. Another weekend passed without the phone ringing or a text message from anyone and that is the feeling that I want to get away from. So I am going to look much more closely into this communal living stuff because I do think having a regular connection with other people will do both son and myself some good. It would be easier to go out to get some peace and quiet than it is to go out and get company because we have nothing but peace and quiet at home, I think? Not that I'm envisaging joining some party house; I think it will be a quieter affair than that, but it would be nice to sit down in the evening and have voices around instead of it always being just son and I. I don't know how he's going to take it or if it will work out for him but we won't know if we don't try.
I have got quite a few bits to sell, which should bring us in some extra money, and I've dragged my sewing machine out to start making things out of my rag bag that I keep meaning to use up and never do. I don't want to lug that with me to the next place as well. Lots of jobs to get on with. I have an old audio cassette of my dad playing about with me and my sister when we were little. He's getting us to sing and we keep getting it wrong and giggling. Then you hear him telling us how to apologise to the audience and to try again and we just giggle some more because we can't say 'profusely' and that's what he's trying to get us to say. I've nothing to play it on so I found a place that can transfer it onto CD and packaged it up to send off. I've been meaning to do that for a long time.
Twoapenny:
A little psychological trick I'm trying. There are thirty jobs on my list - some big, some small. If I aim for one a day, I can be finished by mid December. If I'm finished by mid December - we could be out of here by end of January. Now - there are about a million reasons I can think of to put a spanner in that little plan - but I'm not going to think of them. I'm just going to aim for one job a day and, then aim to be leaving here by the end of Jan. I don't know why but in my mind that feels better. So I am sticking with that for now.
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