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Farm Doin's - 2020

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Meh:
Interesting about sharing too much.

sKePTiKal:
I know G, right? I'm kinda the poster girl for that phenomena. LOL. But I am aware enough to only do that certain places, like here. Still, I know people who do more of it, in more "gory detail" than me.

And lately, I'm relearning the "discretion is the better part of boundaries" lesson again. Even with people I trust. The misunderstandings, endless clarification, twisting things around into their own frame of reference that goes on when people open up with each other can be endlessly frustrating for me, at times - when all I want is to be heard, taken at face value, and not have to endlessly support those statements of emotion with explanations, footnotes & bibliographies.

I realize I'm often guilty of the same thing too. But I'm not entirely sure where people learned to do that, if it's just lazy thinking/being, or social conditioning. Along the same lines with that observation is the contamination of discussion forums with the "conversation style" of social media -- instead of actually talking TO another person, people simply post oversimplified "statements" - whether visual (memes) or verbal quips. That's a take it or leave it conversation style. Hit & run even.

I'm trying to improve my conversation skills. Seems worthwhile in this day & age. I've even taken to writing letters to Buck. When he was here, he pulled one that was all folded up out of his wallet. Letters are a REAL attractive means of communication for me. Hand written is a requirement.

sKePTiKal:
Going through a bit of bleak time here.

Hol is attempting to talk to S about their relationship - and he's flat out stated he's afraid to talk. She's told him that is NOT an option, because he's not showing her he wants to engage in relationship with her either; and she's tired of him being unhappy while WITH her. She has offered even, to help him be happy SOMEWHERE ELSE. So, her anger and disappointment and frustration are building up. I successfully fended off last night's attempt to offload some of that anger on me, by trying to paint me as a political stereotype and didn't take it personally. Because it was clear she wasn't going to sleep until her energy dissapated some. Without directly calling out this dysfunctional strategy. (Saving that for when she's not so full of anger and can "hear".)

Buck's last medical device - the nerve stimulator - is now on the fritz. Battery isn't holding a charge; and it's gotten so bad now he can't get it to start. Which means his pain levels are escalating to the point of not sleeping again. The device support team made him an appt to "look at it" for SEPT 27th. When this thing isn't working, he has trouble standing and walking. And of course the pain makes him grouchier than normal. Not only is that appt close to when he was planning to move, but he won't be able to be ready by then... if he's in so much pain now.

Hol has invited a couple of friends out - and that may distract her & cheer her up a little bit. We'll see.

As for my situation, I'll probably try to call B later on today. See how he's doing; what if anything he's been able to change in his favor. For myself, I'm going out into the wide world today... grocery shopping.

Hopalong:
Ooof. That's a lot, Amber.

I'm sorry Hol is confiding in such detail, and offloading her process onto you. It must be both hard to hear it and hard to not listen endlessly. Rock, meet hard place. But it also sounds as though she's moving forward. Baby steps. Nothing avoidable about what she's going through. She will learn crucial things as we all have had to do when relationships aren't right. I'm glad you're allowing her to learn them on her own.

Terribly sorry about B's pain. That SUCKS. Big time. Really, really tough. You don't need a stick in the spokes but life keeps tossing those anyway. When there's physical pain on top of emotional things to handle, it's exponentially tougher.

Sigh. Hang in there, mountain woman.

Hugs and comfort,
Hops

lighter:
Amber:

I'm afraid I never grasped fully Buck's device situation.  It's great to hear he HAS a device that was working well....finally. 

That he's waiting again for care is frustrating and super unfair.  I hope he can contact whoever helped get medical attention quicker, to be up and running for last training mission, and move that appointment up.  Maybe?  Don't ask, don't get.  Just an idea.  I also ask to be put on wait lists for cancellations.  It always works.  Every time, but I have to ask.

It makes me sad so many vets wait and wait for critical care. It's inexcusable, imo.

I have grocery shopping on today's list too.  Cleaning out fridges first.  Enjoy your time out in the world: )

Lighter

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