Coronavirus

[Hopalong]

I hear you, Tupp. The UK is in bad straits.

For me, having ZERO expectation that others will respond to science rationally....makes me calmer and happier. Otherwise it's a constant roller coaster of hope and disappointment.

Where people disappoint, animals and nature never do....

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

I thought I'd replied yesterday Hopsie but it's not here, I must have dreamed it!  Yep.  I think people focus on what's most important to them.  I was talking to a friend earlier and the differences in our approach became clear as we were chatting - I'm concerned about my son dying if he gets it, she's concerned about not being able to go on holiday over the winter.  It's just different priorities, isn't it?  Anyway - we're on Medium alert level here at the moment but local cases have dropped a little bit, with no more deaths locally so that's good. 

[Twoapenny]

Numbers and deaths are up across the county but have dropped slightly in our immediate local area, which is good.  I spent the afternoon sorting out piles of son's education stuff, projects to work on, things to get rid of, things we might still use, and rearranging everything so it's easier to get to when we need it.  In doing so, I discovered a list that it turns out his tutor (before we moved here) had got him to write up, with suggestions of how he could avoid moving, which included going to court to have a judge say he didn't have to move.  Fortunately that seems to have gone over my son's head; he had no idea what it meant and wouldn't have understood what she was talking about, but she'd obviously put some time and effort into this (items on the list are things like 'practise disagreeing' and 'remember your other options'.  It's clearly come from her; I don't mean this in an unkind way but he just doesn't have the capacity to come up with things like that on his own even now, and certainly wouldn't have done three years ago.  I was absolutely fuming - not with him, but realising that she was sat in my home, drinking my tea and eating my biscuits whilst encouraging him to refuse to move.  At age 15!  What did the silly bint think would happen if he decided to stay on his own, given that he can't look after himself?  I've only put it in this bit because it made me want to break my diet soooooo badly but I want to focus on my fitness during this Covid thing so I have resisted and I am going to go for another walk after dinner.  What is it with these people?  Endless interference and never any help.  Anyway, I have talked to him about it all and he says he's really glad we moved and he likes it better here.  I did ask him if he wants to move back if we get the chance and he said no, he wants to stay - he doesn't mind another house if it means he gets a bigger room   But in this area.  I've told him it's always alright to say he doesn't want to do something or he's not happy, and that I can always get him someone else to talk to if he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me and he said he's fine.  So I'm just proud that I kept up my Covid diet even though finding that out made me want to eat pizza and loads of biscuits.  Lol x

[lighter]

Well, I'm amazed at your resolve, Tupp.  My sister and I ordered gf Dominoes Pizza 2 nights ago on a really tough day.  We felt worse for it too.

Keep up the good habits, if you want to.  Your body and clearer thinking will thank you for it.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Well, I'm amazed at your resolve, Tupp.  My sister and I ordered gf Dominoes Pizza 2 nights ago on a really tough day.  We felt worse for it too.

Keep up the good habits, if you want to.  Your body and clearer thinking will thank you for it.

Lighter

Lol, the urge was strong, Lighter!  It was all I could think about.  But the funny thing was, once I'd decided that I wasn't going to do it, all those deep down feelings that surged up - you know how it is, that fear just consumes you all over again - started to subside, and quite quickly as well.  Usually, I'd stuff my face and then ruminate on it all for hours, whilst trying not to, and then eat more crap.  But I started to feel calmer quite quickly, found some Cauliflower Curry in the freezer so I had that with brown rice and a bit of mango chutney and then went for the walk.  It really helped.  I had a bath when I got back - didn't sleep too well but that seems to be normal at the minute.  It just felt better not to let it control my life again, if that makes sense?  But the lure of the pizza was strong, I can understand you ordering yours in xx

[Hopalong]

Tupp, I can imagine how jarring it must've felt to find those notes from the tutor. I wonder if moving at that time seemed scary and stressful to your son, or if he was reacting to all the changes or prospect of them.

Change is quite hard on people with autism, as I understand it. Not exhilarating or exciting, just scary. Or maybe he was picking up on all the stress and intensity you were feeling. He's a sensitive guy deep inside and I wonder if it must be hard to express his emotional life sometimes?

I'm so glad that he responded well in your conversation with him. He's grown in inner strength in his own ways just as you have during this time.

We're all being tested one way or another. Sorry that paper turned up to rattle you.

Be extra good to yourself next week, friend. You've been having a rough go the last few days. I am mentally shooting arrows of light into those gray clouds over your head!

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Tupp, I can imagine how jarring it must've felt to find those notes from the tutor. I wonder if moving at that time seemed scary and stressful to your son, or if he was reacting to all the changes or prospect of them.

Change is quite hard on people with autism, as I understand it. Not exhilarating or exciting, just scary. Or maybe he was picking up on all the stress and intensity you were feeling. He's a sensitive guy deep inside and I wonder if it must be hard to express his emotional life sometimes?

I'm so glad that he responded well in your conversation with him. He's grown in inner strength in his own ways just as you have during this time.

We're all being tested one way or another. Sorry that paper turned up to rattle you.

Be extra good to yourself next week, friend. You've been having a rough go the last few days. I am mentally shooting arrows of light into those gray clouds over your head!

hugs
Hops

I don't think I explained it very well Hops, it was the tutor that was the problem, not son.  I'm very aware of the difficulties he has with moving house and the notes weren't about that xx

[Hopalong]

Oh I'm sorry, Tupp.

I thought the tutor might've been talking about that with him because for some reason he'd brought it up or made comments that she interpreted as important enough to "strategize" with him. Waaaaay too many assumptions on my part, and sharing with you my brilliant insights about how an autistic kid might feel about moving house was very inappropriate. I apologize for that too.

And how inappropriate it was for her to initiate that kind of conversation with him rather blows my mind. One should NEVER get between a child and their mother, unless abuse is suspected. We all know how that has scalded and harmed you in the past, so I can understand why it was triggering to run across the note.

That really was a weird thing for her to do. Curious: Was she young? Relatively inexperienced? I'm glad it's well past, and didn't mean to poke a bruise. Please forgive my lapse into cluelessness.

I think you explained it fine; I just went off on a knowitall-tangent. (I'm good at those.)

humble hug,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Oh I'm sorry, Tupp.

I thought the tutor might've been talking about that with him because for some reason he'd brought it up or made comments that she interpreted as important enough to "strategize" with him. Waaaaay too many assumptions on my part, and sharing with you my brilliant insights about how an autistic kid might feel about moving house was very inappropriate. I apologize for that too.

And how inappropriate it was for her to initiate that kind of conversation with him rather blows my mind. One should NEVER get between a child and their mother, unless abuse is suspected. We all know how that has scalded and harmed you in the past, so I can understand why it was triggering to run across the note.

That really was a weird thing for her to do. Curious: Was she young? Relatively inexperienced? I'm glad it's well past, and didn't mean to poke a bruise. Please forgive my lapse into cluelessness.

I think you explained it fine; I just went off on a knowitall-tangent. (I'm good at those.)

humble hug,
Hops

Nothing to apologise for, Hopsie, I was vague about it so it wasn't clear she was the problem, she was my age with kids my son's age so I suspect the usual public sector problem we have of people walking into situations they don't understand, deciding you're doing it all wrong and sticking their noses in with no clear idea of why or what the outcome will be.  I'm wondering now if she was the reason he was saying he didn't want to go.  He said a couple of phrases at the time that didn't sound like him but as he was going to Youth Club I assumed he'd picked them up from the other kids.  Doesn't matter now, I just get baffled at the lack of common sense and forethought that so many of them display but there we are.  The important thing was I didn't break my diet!  And have stuck to it today as well.

In Covid news, dopey face has (I think) announced another national lockdown from next week although he's leaving schools, colleges and universities open which, along with all the key workers is probably about half the country still going out every day.  Due to end beginning of December if they get infections down; they've just announced 1 million people infected since it started and between 42 and 62 thousand Covid related deaths, depending on which set of figures you use.  Our local area has dropped slightly again today though and if they shut a lot down again next week hopefully we'll get down to zero again soon, at least in our little bit.  What an absolute pigs ear they have made of all of this.  High death rate and trashed economy.  Couldn't even pick one or the other.

Trick or treat was banned so son and I did our own indoors; he knocked on the sitting room door and I gave him some chocolate lol.  He's had his face painted all day (he did it himself this morning) and we're going out for a walk in a bit just to look at some of the decorations that are up.  We did our little pumpkin and it's in the window as we speak.  It has finally stopped raining which is a relief, I think it's been a solid week of downpours? xx

[Twoapenny]

It's bedlam here.  People have been panic buying all weekend and the shops are empty.  Why on earth do people do it?  We only run out because people hoard; the shops won't be closing, they get deliveries every day, it will literally be no different to any other time.  I just can't believe the stupidity, again, even seeing how stupid it was last time hasn't stopped them.  'We will not comply' is trending on Twitter, I mean, seriously?  What part of 'this is really serious' do they not get?  It has been appallingly handled, we could be in a much better place than we are, people have worked really hard to re-open their businesses and to have to shut them again could have been avoided with decent testing and contact tracing, plus assurances that wages would be covered if people had to stay home.  But surely people can see that behaving like dicks is just going to make it worse for longer?  I am truly baffled.  Roasting peppers, beetroot and garlic for dinner tonight, lots of vitamins and anti-oxidants.  Weigh in tomorrow, end of first week, I'll let you know if I've lost any weight xx

[lighter]

I'm sorry tot was cancelled there, but glad you were safe and finding ways to enjoy it with your ds, Tupp.

My youngest threw herself into the holiday spirit, helped shop, stuff and arrange treat bags....really good onesbc we expected under 30 kids, then dressed up SO cool and warmed to her part...providing a memorable Halloween for the kids in the year of Covid.

She put up a table to provide distance.  She kept me focused and we laughed and laughed the whole time.

She scared 3 teen boys so badly in me 1 got a treat bag, then I chased them off our street while they laughed screamed and fl talking about how they had a real haunted house experience....just giddy and so pleased to be away from us.

Next year I want to do zombies with our cars parked askew....some door flung open with bodies and real zombies that jump and chase.....SO much fun.

We truck or treated the other big haunted house and that guy was dressed up and chucking candy down a decorated tube, one at a time.  Much fun and banter and happiness was had by all.

If I didn't say, our theme was scary clowns this year, if imperfectly crafted.  I threw on my traditional witch costume....youngest did Victorian clothing with amazing uncanny makeup....so cool to look at.  With heels she was 6feet tall!  Beads, silk and round sunglasses beneath a very interesting hat.

Will have to look up Elk bars....the kids say those are most prized treat.  I think are homemade....maybe next year.

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

That sounds so lovely, Lighter, I'm really hoping we can do something very big next year.  It was eerily quiet last night; usually it's really busy from about 4pm onwards, the little ones first and then the older ones come and it's so much fun.  I'm glad you had such a good time and enjoyed yourselves.

I've decided I'm going to have to be more proactive about scheduling in fun stuff for us and social time in some way as well, plus different activities for son.  It's so chaotic here I just can't see how they're going to get a handle on it.  I think we're going to be in for months again now.  I'm digging deep to come up with ideas of things to do and ways to get out and about when the weather allows.  It did stop raining as it was getting dark tonight so we got out for half an hour which made a difference xx

[lighter]

Tup:
The thing about going through my life in pictures...my father and mother and grandparent's and great granparent's and great great was...
it somehow finished processing all the stuff knocking around my brain.


I feel super present. 

Very focused on making the most of my limited moments on this earth.  No regrets or panic.  Just...
the comfort of being present and having very clear priorities without the past or other people's stuff pulling me off track.

And it feels like....experiencing every moment as though it was my last.....without being sad or wrong.

Just....SO laser focused on the moments, and it's almost an altered state....feels like, anyway.  Just noticing everything around me in the bathroom brings comfort and joy and gratitude for what I have in those moments.....for the safety and power and privacy and chance to create more sacred space for myself and lived ones.

I don't care about collecting stuff...I care about honoring things that bring me joy.  I care about having an uncluttered space to live my life.

So.....I have the challenge to edit down generations of stuff...with my dibs helping...so we all have sunny floors and spaces.

We got so much done at my dad's lake house.  So much to do, still.

It feels likebreathing pure air....no junk or distractions, even though we rarely agree on everything.  We have the same goals.

Lighter

[lighter]

Tupp:

Liverpool is putting a Corona virus test program of 100% of people as a pilot program for entire country.

Is that a positI've thing, or do you think they won't follow through?

I saw a 1 hour turnaround for the results projected.

((Tupp and son))

Lighter

[Twoapenny]

Tupp:

Liverpool is putting a Corona virus test program of 100% of people as a pilot program for entire country.

Is that a positI've thing, or do you think they won't follow through?

I saw a 1 hour turnaround for the results projected.

((Tupp and son))

I honestly don't know, Lighter, I don't see how it would work in any practical long term way? It's voluntary so I'd imagine a lot of asymptomatic people wouldn't bother (or certainly not more than once).  People would have to take time off work to do it; many  can't afford to.  Organisational skills in the UK are generally always shambolic, long queues, things not happening when they're supposed to, IT systems are always terrible and crash constantly.  They've not managed to keep up with demand for tests for people who have symptoms so I'm slightly baffled as to how they're suddenly going to be able to test half a million people every two weeks (or weekly according to some reports) and churn out the results in an hour.  You'd only know you're negative at that time; the moment you come into contact with someone else you're at risk again so people would still need to keep away from each other, presumably?  You'd still need people to self isolate if they're told they have it and there are people who won't (already cases where that's happened).  I'm skeptical, to be honest, especially if they then want to roll it out nationwide - I'm just not convinced that a government who've made such a monumental cock up of it from the word go are suddenly going to start running and efficient and effective service, or that people will comply with it.  But we'll see, it would be nice to be wrong about it and for it to make a huge difference! xx

Lighter