Coronavirus

[Hopalong]

Wow, that'll be interesting, Tupp, to find out if you have antibodies. Nice!

I'm not certain, but believe it'll be the two-dose one.

Of late it's wearing on me more than it had before, I'm sure because of the combo of bad news + isolation. But I think spring and warmth will fix the latter and meanwhile, I'm lucky to be safe, warm, and with people I can call if I can't stand it any more.

Hanging in and hope you are too.

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Wow, that'll be interesting, Tupp, to find out if you have antibodies. Nice!

I'm not certain, but believe it'll be the two-dose one.

Of late it's wearing on me more than it had before, I'm sure because of the combo of bad news + isolation. But I think spring and warmth will fix the latter and meanwhile, I'm lucky to be safe, warm, and with people I can call if I can't stand it any more.

Hanging in and hope you are too.

hugs
Hops

It will be interesting, I'm just curious about that sort of thing - not that I think there's much chance I've had it as we were staying in before we were told to and we've really been careful so less chance to catch it plus no symptoms seems unlikely to me, but interesting non the less!

I have found it more wearing just lately as well, Hopsie, and I think you're right - lack of daylight and warm sunshine, further restricted social activities and all sorts of things going on in all sorts of places as well.  But - there are videos of dolphins surfing on YouTube   So that makes me smile.  I will be glad to see the sunshine again and to be able to go out without having to calculate the risk and decide whether or not it's worth it.  Keep on hanging on in there xx xx xx

[Twoapenny]

Just had word from my sister that my aunty has died from Covid.  It seems that she was unwell for a mercifully short period of time so I'm hoping that it wasn't horribly painful - as far as I'm aware she was at home and heavily sedated so I'm hoping she just went to sleep and didn't know any more about it.  This is the first time someone I know really well has been affected - friends have lost relatives and/or work colleagues and so on but this is the first in my immediate circle.  My sister said it really brought home to her how dangerous it could be for our mum.  I feel like I was aware of that, which is why I've reached out to her a couple of times since this started.  She's not responded so I think best for me to leave well alone - I'll send condolences to my cousins and check in on my other aunty (the other sister) but I'll leave mum be.  I do think it's so sad that as a family we can't even comfort one another during difficult times but there we are.  That's an aunt, and uncle and a cousin all gone in the last year.  It's very sobering.  Anyway, sorry to be posting negative news.  I really can't wait for a time when this is all over.

[Hopalong]

I'm really sorry about your aunty, Tupp.

One thing I think about is that dying from Covid-19 is essentially dying from pneumonia, which used to be called "the old man's friend" as a gentle way to go. I wonder if the medical "fights" with multiple drugs plus mechanicals makes it tougher than it needs to be. That's maybe partly our medical model--death must be defeated. Hmmm.

I don't know, but I wonder if being in the ICU with all those medical interventions plus the trauma of intubation isn't a way worse way to go (and only 65% of those intubated survive anyway). If at-home morphine and sedation and supplemental oxygen (without intubation) can make the discomfort bearable, I'd opt for that too.

All I can compare it to is my Ngent I worked for -- the night before he died we visited and talked and he was gone of pneumonia in the morning.

I hope it was gentle and unaware for her, in peace at home.
(Wise call about your Nmum, too. She'll find her own peace when her time comes.)

hugs
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Thanks, Hops.  As I understand it there was no intervention, she was made comfortable at home and I'm hoping that does mean it was relatively peaceful.  She lost her husband a few years ago and I know she missed him very much so hopefully they're together again now.  I think those 'what happens after we die' threads can be comforting even when none of us know for sure.  I do feel bad for people not being able to have funerals.  I think the limit here at the moment is ten people which will only allow for her children and grandchildren to attend.  Very hard for other loved ones not to be able to say goodbye in person (although I understand the need for restrictions).  And yes, I'll leave mum to it - she knows where I am (as she's fond of making sure I know when she sends my son stuff each time we move) so she can reach out if she wants to.

In (hopefully) slightly better news, case numbers have started to drop.  They're still very high but they are going down.  Doctors are still swamped and awful pictures are emerging of ambulances queuing outside hospitals and Covid patients being treated in corridors but it seems admissions have stabilised so although the death rate will still climb for a while hopefully that will start to drop soon as well.  As always I am very grateful to have all of you here during this mad and crazy time xx

[Hopalong]

It's amazing what we've all acclimated to this year, isn't it?

BTW, I mis-typed (ADD brain) that statistic. It's only 35% of those intubated who survive. And many with lasting damage. Motivation not to get Covid in the first place is very high. On the brighter side, locally there is a large plan underway to set up a massive vaccine center in the space of an old "KMart" -- the big discount store pre-WalMart. Huge place with ample parking. Dunno when my appointment will be but even if it's months away I'm grateful.

M lost an old friend (secretary for years) to Covid and was distraught about it last night. Second person he's known personally. I know a couple of people whose relatives in other places have contracted it.

I have my days when I'm a bit crazed by it all, but overall I feel very grateful and also fairly safe. Biggest danger to me is lack of exercise and my inner ADD stuff, but there is still time to make this winter about getting healthier.

I'm so grateful for you too, Tupp--always will be.

Big hugs,
Hops

[Twoapenny]

It's amazing what we've all acclimated to this year, isn't it?

BTW, I mis-typed (ADD brain) that statistic. It's only 35% of those intubated who survive. And many with lasting damage. Motivation not to get Covid in the first place is very high. On the brighter side, locally there is a large plan underway to set up a massive vaccine center in the space of an old "KMart" -- the big discount store pre-WalMart. Huge place with ample parking. Dunno when my appointment will be but even if it's months away I'm grateful.

M lost an old friend (secretary for years) to Covid and was distraught about it last night. Second person he's known personally. I know a couple of people whose relatives in other places have contracted it.

I have my days when I'm a bit crazed by it all, but overall I feel very grateful and also fairly safe. Biggest danger to me is lack of exercise and my inner ADD stuff, but there is still time to make this winter about getting healthier.

I'm so grateful for you too, Tupp--always will be.

Big hugs,
Hops

I'm sorry about M's friend, Hopsie.  It is all very close to home now.  I was talking to a friend yesterday - she has a friend whose son has caught it, her partner has a relative who has it, another friend has a friend who's on a ventilator.  It feels like it's changed from many saying 'no-one I know has caught it' to many saying the opposite now.  And it's very sobering.  But yes, like you, I have days when it all catches up with me, but on the whole we're getting on with what we can and very grateful for the time, actually.  I'd never have taken an extended period like this just to stay home and not rush about all the time so it's given me opportunities to think about a lot of things.  And to think about the future.  I don't want it to be like the past.  I'm working to change that.  And I hope they get that big vaccine centre up and running so you can get your jab soon!  I think they've given first doses to about four million people here now.  I can't fathom the logistics for having to vaccinate an entire population twice and then having to do it all again because it needs to be done yearly?  But I guess greater brains than mine are working on it so there must be a way xx

[Meh]

I go from being super worried about Covid to forgetting about it entirely at moments because I'm doing something else.

Start of this month I had a week straight of covid dreams and nightmares.

It feels like THE PANDEMIC will never end. At some point maybe there will be a low sickness rate and someone with authority might announce an end to the pandemic whatever that means. It does seem likely the virus will just continue to mutate and mutate and mutate until everybody with underlying diseases are dead from either the disease or covid. Who knows. I'm always grim. I will self identify as a gloomy and negative person.

Sometimes I feel a bit angry in knowing the disease may have been prevented, I mean it's arguable like EVERYTHING is arguable. Still it all comes into crisp focus when a person becomes sick or dies. I dislike the abstract numbers of deaths they don't make any sense to me. Some commentators say the numbers of deaths are not high enough to justify social distancing. There are so very many many commentators and opinions.

[Hopalong]

Sometimes I think that humanity is getting its overdue lesson from nature.
We wouldn't rein in our selfish ways to protect the earth or animals, so she's reminding us who's in charge.

That's too apocalyptic to last long in my head, but it does occur.

hugs
HOps

[Twoapenny]

I go from being super worried about Covid to forgetting about it entirely at moments because I'm doing something else.

Start of this month I had a week straight of covid dreams and nightmares.

It feels like THE PANDEMIC will never end. At some point maybe there will be a low sickness rate and someone with authority might announce an end to the pandemic whatever that means. It does seem likely the virus will just continue to mutate and mutate and mutate until everybody with underlying diseases are dead from either the disease or covid. Who knows. I'm always grim. I will self identify as a gloomy and negative person.

Sometimes I feel a bit angry in knowing the disease may have been prevented, I mean it's arguable like EVERYTHING is arguable. Still it all comes into crisp focus when a person becomes sick or dies. I dislike the abstract numbers of deaths they don't make any sense to me. Some commentators say the numbers of deaths are not high enough to justify social distancing. There are so very many many commentators and opinions.

True that there are so many opinions, Posh, and also so much speculation.  Very difficult to be sure about anything just now, I think.  I've just taken the approach that my son's risk is high (and although mine isn't high medically, I don't even like having a cold - I definitely don't fancy catching this so I'd rather not), so we're avoiding as many people as we can, as much as we can.  I'm like you, sometimes I forget all about it, then other things catch me and it comes into stark focus again.  There was a man in the supermarket the other night wearing a gas mask; that did make me smile We have been advised here to get medical grade masks now, which of course means you can't because they all sold out within a matter of hours.  I was just talking to a friend who's had to work through it (school teacher) and we were talking about how stressed everybody is now, whatever their situation in life.  It's a leveler, I think, a situation like this.  Reminds us all that none of us are infallible.  I'll be glad when it's at least down to a level where your risk of catching it is the same as getting any other kind of illness that might be a bad thing.  We do all live with risk every day, it just feels a bit like this is swimming with sharks xx

[Meh]

Yeah too bad about the med grade mask shortage, no surprise there right. Ughh

The fabric masks when I put them on I notice the air does not flow through the fabric part. Instead the air flows along the concave areas on the side of my nose and through gaps in the side of the fabric. Also there is the ocular membrane so yeah better to stay socially distanced.

I have to even tell myself STILL it's okay to do social distancing, I am NOT being rude and I am NOT a hypochondriac for wanting to stay safe and healthy. Social distancing is not a sign of a phobia during a pandemic. It's wild that I have to do this self talk but there are a lot of people who are still offended by the actions of those who are trying to be safe.

Good luck.

On a bright note, even in the cold season here I am starting to see little buds on lilac trees, little tiny leaf bundles popping up out of iris rhizomes, a single rose bud hanging on for dear life in a windy, dark and snow-forecasted climate. Poppy plants are still green, purple heather is blooming, some insects are out, the local hummingbird is still around even though we had a massive windstorm. I see signs of spring even in January. Columbines sending up small new growth bunches of leaves below the older brown stems. 

[Twoapenny]

I love the signs of Spring!  Trees are starting to bud here (even though we just had snow) and I'm feeding the birds twice a day now so the tree outside our house is full of birds, they're so nice to watch.  Curious cat sometimes climbs to the top of the tree and peeks in my son's bedroom window, which is so cute.  I bought some daffodils this morning to brighten up the kitchen window.

Advice here is to maintain social distancing, Posh, so I think you're right to keep doing it.  I'm quite toughened up to people's reactions because we've had it for years with my son's disability - people pointing, staring, demanding to know why you're using a disabled parking bay or disabled toilet and so on, so I've had to get used to just getting on with what we're doing and paying no mind to other people.  It's been helpful through this; we just get on with keeping our distance and people can do whatever they want to   It's good to keep it up; your own safety's more important.

Medical masks are available again now which is good so I've ordered a box and they should be here this week (we're not due to go out again until next week ).  Local numbers have finally started to drop but they're still very high and much higher than they were during the first 'wave'.  Hospital admissions appear to have stabilised; it does seem that this huge increase has been largely down to people getting together over Christmas.  The hospitals are still very busy, apparently, but the number of new patients being admitted seems to have settled a bit.  The death rate's been mind blowing but just seems to have become a normal part of life now.  I don't think that's healthy but I guess we all do to it cope with what's going on.  Nationwide numbers are still high, in terms of new cases and that's a worry - if the numbers don't drop rapidly during lockdown how do you ever manage it?  That bit still concerns me, particularly with new variants appearing.  I feel more concerned now with the long term implications of this being around for several years and the UKs approach being 'we'll wait till the hospitals are full and people are dying in their thousands and then we'll close everyone's businesses down and shut the schools again'.  Given that the vaccines reduce the chances of being seriously ill rather than ensuring you won't get ill and/or don't stop you catching it or passing it on to someone else I'm guessing it will still be an ongoing problem and that all they're aiming for is to make it manageable enough that the hospitals don't get swamped?  Which would still mean the personal risk level being high if you're older or have other health care problems.  Son's future in a situation like that worries me now.  The allure of a more remote area, where we can get out and about more but around fewer people, thereby (hopefully) reducing the risk of exposure, is on my mind a lot just now.

[Twoapenny]

Johnson's extended the current lockdown to March 8th at least; that's the earliest schools will go back and that's assuming people are getting vaccinated and the numbers are going down.  Other things will start to open up after schools go back, assuming that the numbers remain low.

I messed up the antibody test because I got blood on the bit where you read the result so I couldn't see what the answer was.  Bit gutting, it would have been interesting to know but there we are - it's a weeny little test stick and I was too clumsy to do what I needed to.  I just feel soooo tired all the time, there's such a lack of variety of pace through the day.  I'm keeping busy but I have to motivate myself and I find that hard over such an extended period of time.  I'll be glad when it's over.

[Hopalong]

I understand the waves of fatigue, Tupp. Psychological or physical. Several of my friends seem to be going through a trough right now too--I think the reality of "maybe summer" for completed vaccinations for many, and the uncertainty of when you'll actually get your shots, is eating at serenity. People announce they've gotten a shot and you feel glad for them but worried about when you'll hear about your own. I'm supposedly on a list (signed up twice to get email or text notification) but nothing's happened so far. My poet-friend's partner got his (heart issue + age).

I'm finding myself comfortable in double-masks. The N95s are unavailable but the combo of one of those blue disposable masks covered with a fabric mask feels fine in cold weather, and I just read from a couple medical sources that using both is very close to as protective as an N95. I also like the idea of the simple fabric ones that have a top where you can tuck in a little slice of vacuuum cleaner (hoover) filter. Either of those getups nearly equals the N95. That plus sticking to my imaginary 8-foot distance seems sane enough to me. When I get super-restless in spring I'll just take more lovely drives with Pooch (and maybe M) and remind myself our mountains and lakes haven't gone anywhere, and we can go for walks in varied lovely places. Meanwhile, I go out no more than once a week, generally. Occasionally twice to M's for dinner; he's just 10 minutes away.

The only area where I still get tense is the food deliveries. I know that as they got more information about the virus the emphasis became by far more on respiratory transmission than surfaces so I'm not panic-spraying things the way I was, but it still makes me uneasy until they're all put away out of sight. I ignore the canned or boxed items for days, which means it dies on its own, but don't enjoy having big brown bags out on every surface for that time. Small problem though. Indoors is safer so I'm glad it's winter in a way. Hah. Never expected myself to say THAT.

I'm peaceful in my little home with Pooch, and feeling a bit better. First snow this morning! Just a sprinkle but it's pretty. I think "normal" will include masking for a long time, just the way it does in Asian countries where there's nothing weird about a mask over a face. But that's okay with me. I'll just have to master the art of hold-your-breath-hugging when the all-clear horn sounds.

One positive I am sensing now and then is that the turmoil of the pandemic, and the sorrow, has made many people more gentle rather than less (though that gets no headlines, of course). Like they're feeling a tenderness toward others because of our mutual fragility in the face of this hard pandemic. In my wee circles anyway, I've heard a lot of people regularly say things about gratitude. And when people talk about their distress, there's more kindness visible than before. Less vapid consumerism talk and more, even on Zoom, people expressing how meaningful and good it is to see each others' faces.

hugs
Hops

[Hopalong]

Just found Kimberly-Clark N95 respirators (masks) on Amazon -- $50 for a pack of 50.

I go out among people so seldom that I think these'll get me through summer, by which time all Americans should be vaccinated (fingers crossed).

If one can't find N95s, the double masking technique is recommended any time one goes indoors among people (grocery store, non-household members in home, etc.) That's a normal disposable mask topped by a fabric one. You can stick in little rectangle cut from vaccuum cleaner filters if you like.

They're getting very concerned about the U.K. variant which has arrived here, because it's so much more contagious. Next 4-8 weeks (public heath department head from a major univ. just said on TV) are the most dangerous.

Heads up, or heads down -- take care everybody. We'll get through this.

hugs
Hops