Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Friendship Moments: good or bad
sKePTiKal:
I think we're all trying to learn how to see these people sooner, Hops. It's kinda programmed into us to give the benefit of the doubt and second chances. But that conditioning didn't include the criteria for giving that to people while getting little to nothing in return.
Hopalong:
Exactly, Amber. You are so sane, and that inspires me.
I think some of it is that I have been a broken person (it's a FT project and I accept that) who is/was drawn to other broken people. Sometimes, I think broken or formerly-broken people can and do heal each other in ways. Hell, we all try to do that here.
But there needs to be steady respect for another's broken bits. They can be jagged.
Lately, I withdraw faster when I feel octopus tentacles coming my way. That's with new people, mainly. With long-established relationships, the attachment is stronger.
But, this bout with Poet taught me I have better boundaries than I used to. I just will not be the target of nasty temper outbursts, and if anyone's going to take my gentleness as weakness, well I'm stronger than I knew.
Thanks in very large part to y'all here. My gratitude is boundless, truly.
hugs
Hops
sKePTiKal:
Complete this sentence: even broken people........
- can fix themselves (mostly)
- still have broken bits that surface under stress or emotional pain
- are doing the best they can, within their capabilities (which vary a LOT)
Your turn! <grin>
Hopalong:
- can become Kintsugi
Love your list, Amber!
I feel clear that the friendship crisis is past, now. But still feeling the aftermath, mostly some increased anxiety in general. And just the effects of shock. I realized that I didn't know a toxic part of her, and her explosion shook me to the core. If a "best friend" can do that, or felt entitled to in order to relieve her own discomfort, who is safe?
hugs
Hops
lighter:
How're you feeling today, Hops?
Lighter
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